Thanks FH!

I’m not aware of anything specific that triggers a depressive mood. I will just wake up one morning feeling terribly “down”, depressive and tired (especially if I had less sleep that night). When I feel like that I can almost describe it as this “dark cloud” hanging over me, something I can’t control or change with happy or positive thoughts (even if I try). Sometimes the depressive moods will carry on for only a few hours before my mood start to lift again and other days it last for a full day and then the next morning I will wake up with a “lighter” mood again. I’ve experienced the only thing that really helps during such times to lift my mood is exercise or being busy with something that keeps me active. It seems the depressive episodes strikes me out of the blue (usually when I wake up in the morning) without any reason or “trigger” and I can’t explain it. Me and my H returned from a 2 weeks holiday from Cape Town the past weekend and even during the holiday (where I had no work related stress or other things to do and could just relax with my H), I had these depressive episodes and extreme mood fluctuations.

That is so super cool.

I'm happy for you and your husband Suzet.

Gee, I don't know (and obviously you don't either) what the CAUSE might be, but one thing seems rather plain and obvious from what you wrote here. The depressive feelings are a SYMPTOM that follow things you do or don't do, even with respect to sleep.

So if what you said in the parathesis seems to be true, then WHY don't you treat "lack of, or insufficient" sleep as an "allergy?" By that I mean, if you KNOW that some things cause you break out in hives or have another allergic reaction if you eat something you know you should not, then why don't you AVOID eating those things? The same thing would seem to hold true for the "lack of enough sleep" issue that seems to cause you break out in the "hives" of depression. GET enough sleep. SCHEDULE the sleep and REFUSE to allow anything to interfere with it. TRY it, at least for the remainder of the pregnancy, and see how the "symptoms" respond to actually DOING something that may help.




Okay, the way to break through any "Fog" or "dark cloud" is to shine LIGHT on it. Just how "dark" or "light" is the FACT that you ARE, by the grace of God, pregnant? That you in a recovering, recovered marriage? That you should have learned that "worry" is depressing, but with God you don't "have to" shoulder worry alone when you can give it Him and ask Him for HIS assistance, as He has promised? You do read Philippians 4:13 from time to time, don't you?




There's that "adequate sleep" issue again. Are you listening to yourself?




Can you say "endorphins" and can you say "you are what you think?"




Here we go "waking up" again. No reason or "trigger?"

SLEEP. It seems patently obvious that YOU need more sleep than you are getting some nights, and you may even need more sleep than someone else. Just like it is YOUR marriage, it is YOUR sleep that seems to be a "baseline issue" here.




Ya, stress doesn't seem to be trigger. You've always been able to rise above the stress. But not "recharging your batteries" long enough....that seems to be an issue.

And when you do feel depressed and "moody," WHAT do you "think about" and/or "dwell on?" WHAT do you DO to release endorphins into your system?

I applaud you for trying to stay off the meds while pregnant. It may be that your brain chemicals are just naturally a bit off. Exercise and relaxation exercises can help with the sleeping problem.

Other than that, come here and we will help you get through this. Once baby is here, you can go back on your meds. Can you get some time off work? Because you know the baby will keep you up nights, too.

FH

I was not clear on something so let me clear up the misunderstanding you have about my “lack of sleep”: I don’t get enough sleep because I developed a form of insomnia/sleeplessness a few weeks ago. I wake up several times during the night and then struggle to fall asleep again. As a result I never achieve high quality sleep one needs during a normal “8 hour sleep” night to feel completely rested and energized. It’s the first time in my life I have this problem and I discussed it with my doctor during my last visit. He prescribed some magnesium supplements at evening and changed my thyroid medication to a slightly lower dose because a too high dose might be the cause of the sleeplessness as well. But I do suspect it is related to the symptoms of depression that has returned after I’ve stopped the anti-dep medication.

FH, my depression has nothing to do with “worry”, a “lack” of relationship with God etc. I’m very grateful and feel very blessed about all the good and positive things in my life, especially the miracle of this pregnancy God has given to us. If you have followed my history during the years you will know I used anti-dep’s chronically because of a genetic disorder e.g. an imbalance of serotonin levels in my brain. A lack of serotonin levels in the brain are related to depression, anxiety and a lack of serotonin can also lead to sleeplessness. Even the biggest Christians with very close relationship with God can have a sickness and/or chemistry imbalances in the body etc. Incorrect/insufficient serotonin levels can be correct by medication and I know serotonin levels can also be raised by certain foods and exercise as well as some natural supplements. Since I’m pregnant and don’t want to expose the baby to any risks due to anti-dep medication, I’ve decided to go off the medication and stay off it temporarily at least until the baby is born. In stead I focus on other ways to help combat the insufficient serotonin levels.

Believer

Believer, since childhood my mood always felt “lower” than that of the average person and it is because my brain chemicals are naturally a bit off genetically (see my post to FH above).

Believer, I can get time off work if really necessary by taking sick leave approving by the doctor. However, at the moment I’m still okay and I will go on maternity leave from middle December. The one positive thing from all this is that I’m already getting used to the lack of sleep I will get at night as soon as the little one arrives!

My apology, Suzet.

Then it would appear that you DO know the reason.

It appeared from what you wrote previously that you didn't know.

Again, sorry, and I'll bow out.

Continued good health and good luck with the pregnancy.

FH, from my side I also want to apologize to you for not being clear in the first place. When you asked me what triggers the depressive moods I thought you were talking about external factors/stressors in everyday life and/or emotional issues like worry, negative thinking etc. and I know sometimes those things can trigger and contribute to depression as well even in spite or in addition to physical issues. I should have pointed out to you in the first place why I started medication years ago (the cause) but since I’ve posted about it on the forum from time to time in the past, I thought you knew about it already.

Thanks FH for you good wishes! As I've said previously, this issue I currently have is just a small “bump” in the road in comparison with the great blessing we received!

NS: FH, if I remember correctly your grandchild must have been born somewhere in August? You posted that your son and his W did not want to know the sex of the baby beforehand. Was/is it a boy or girl? We wanted to know the sex of the baby and found out on the 16 week scan that it's going to be a boy. At the same scan we also had a 4D scan and it was amazing to see all the detail on that sonar. During the 21 week sonar the doctor did a 4D again but the baby was to "shy" to show his face and we could only see the arms and legs!

^Bump for FH since I've added some stuff to my response above.^

Best wishes to you !!

I know that we all have up's and down's, but we hope (and pray) things go well for you, your H, and the baby.

We also hope and pray for a complete recovery for your brothers family.

Thanks for the update.

SS

Thank you SS. My brother recently found out his W was involved in a sexual affair with a 2nd man as well and is currently busy with divorce proceedings.

So sorry, I had hoped it could be worked out. What a terrible toll infidelity is taking on the world we live in. The cost in broken homes, and broken lives is staggering.

I hope the two of you are able to help your brother cope. I would guess that this is one of the sources of your stress.

Learning about depression has been very eye opening, and helpful for me. What you speak of can be hereditary, and is often passed down to children. My mother has fought with this all her life. I escaped until a few years ago. The interesting thing is, that even when you understand what it is, and where it comes from, it still gets to you.

I still feel I have a wonderful life, and I try not to complain (to my wife, and family.) We just learn to deal with it the best we can. I really do pray for you. I am glad you have the H you have.

We hope you come back from time to time, and let us know how things go.

God be with you.

SS

Suzet - Depression runs in my family. I have several ancestors who committed suicide. My sis has been on anti-D's for the last 20 years and is doing fine. I've been lucky and only had 2 episodes of depression, which I took meds for. Each went away in about 6 months.

I was looking for the food you should eat on the internet. It said turkey, bananas, milk, yogurt, nuts, beans and cheese. Maybe that is what has helped me, because I eat lots of beans!

Thanks for your prayers SS! I will update from time to time.

Yes, my brother’s situation is very sad and tragic for us, but we do help and support him where we can. My brother is almost 9 years younger than me (only 27 years old). I feel very protective of him and he has always been very close to my heart.

SS, what you say is very true. Understanding depression and where it comes from doesn’t help one to escape it, although knowledge about it can help one cope and control it on some level. In my case the depression is definitely hereditary (genetic). Depression runs very strong on my mother’s side of the family and there have been 7 cases of suicide during the years. There have been times my mother struggled with depression and anxiety as well although she is able to keep it under control without any medication.

You know SS, before I’ve experienced depression myself and started medication, I always thought of depression as something that is only a “problem in the head/thoughts” and that a person can get “over” the depression by “pulling themselves together” or developing a close relationship with God or becoming spiritual/religious. Because of this way of thinking, I was very hard on myself when I first experienced depression. As a result, I initially refused to take medication and thought I would be able to overcome it with positive thoughts and a closer relationship with God (by praying more, doing more Bible study etc), but nothing of these things helped to relieve the depression. I even became harder on myself and the mood fluctuations became more severe. Only after my counselor talked to me seriously, convinced me to take medication and started to educate me about depression and how it can be caused by wrong brain chemistry levels especially if its is genetic/hereditary, I started to gain correct knowledge about depression and I realized how totally off base I was with my wrong perceptions. Sadly, there are still many people out there today who are not educated about the topic and have the wrong perceptions I once had about it. Now that I know what is the cause of my depressive moods, I just take it as it comes and goes and try not to get upset/concerned about it...and this also helps the episodes to pass quicker when I does experience it. My type of personality/temperament (melancholic) also plays a role. Depression can indeed be managed (like any other sickness or disorder) with medication and/or certain life style changes (diet, supplements, exercise etc.). I really view this as just a minor problem comparing to all the many blessings in my life and the many things I have to be grateful for!

Believer, depression runs in my family too (see my post to Still Seeking above).

I do take a lot of milk, yoghurt, nuts and cheese but not beans and turkey. I will try and include beans in my diet more often. Thank for your suggestions Believer! I have read that a healthy starch (like wholegrain/seed bread) with some protein (like cheese) as a snack just before bedtime help to raise the serotonin levels to assist with sleep. Also a glass of warm milk with vanilla.

((((((((((((((Suzet)))))))))))))))))

I'm just so stinkin' excited for you!

Have you picked out a name? Nursery all ready?

Yes Believer, we picked out a name already! There will be 2 names. The middle name will be used to name after my father-in-law. The nursery is in progress although far from ready yet! There are still a lot of things we have to buy, but I do have a list of everything we will need and most of the “bigger” or more expensive stuff (stroller, car seat, baby monitor etc.) we will get closer to the time since some of those things will have one year guanrantees.

Suzet. Thank you for asking.

The Lord blessed us with 2 more grandchildren in August. First, my daughter and her husband presented us with a beautiful little girl. Then, a couple of weeks later, my son and his wife (who did not know the sex of the baby until birth) presented us a wonderful baby boy. So now we have 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter. Christmas will be interesting this year, to say nothing of more things to be very thankful for at Thanksgiving.

I don't know what your colors or scheme is, but my cousin cleaned up on nursery decor at Ikea! She had the best stuff, and it was very affordable.

May I suggest that you keep in mind for carseats and strollers to look to see how easy it is to get the covers off to launder. There is nothing worse than trying to get soppy spit up covered thing off and making more of a mess because the dern cover won't come off.

Have I mentioned that kids are some of my favorite critters?

Course after 5 of 'em, I guess it's kinda apparent.