Hi, this is “Suzet”. Members who followed my story will probably remember about me and my H’s severe infertility problems. Medically we were unable to conceive our own biological child. According to the doctors, the only chance we had to conceive was through the very expensive and technological advanced intro-fertilization method called ICSI (and then we would only have a 30% chance).

Well all dear friends, I have such wonderful news to share now! After almost 12 years of marriage and me already in my middle 30’s, I/we finally became pregnant WITHOUT any infertility treatment. The pregnancy was confirmed yesterday (I’m 5 weeks pregnant now). This is truly a miracle and we feel so blessed! I’ve always known that God can do miracles…that ALL things are possible through Him, but now we experience it first hand in our own lives/marriage! This was such wonderful news for us!

To members who still care, please keep us in your prayers… I pray to God now that he will bless and protect this entire pregnancy so that I can be able to give birth to a perfect and healthy child… We believe that is His will…

God Bless to all,
Suzet

That's awesome Suzet! Congratulations. I pray that everything goes well for the entire pregnancy. Your world is about to be rocked. LOL

I have four children and life has been interesting to say the least.

Wonderful news, Suzet. Thank you for sharing your blessing here, too.

Congratulations!

LA

Congratulations Suzet!

I'm quite sure that you and "Mr. S" will make wonderful parents.



My son and daughter-in-law are in much the same position, with our grandchild due in August. After many years we had all come to think there would be no children because of her PCOS. But God has blessed them and they are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their child next August(they have chosen to NOT know the sex in advance).


My prayer is that God keeps both mother and child safe and that you have a healthy child as your gift from God. Between the fertility problems, the job problems, the infidelity problems, I am certain that you have both learn painful lessons and will, as a result, make SUPER parents!!!

God bless!

How absolutely WONDERFUL, Suzet! Congratulations!!! I pray you have an easy and enjoyable pregnancy!

Lori

Miracles do happen!!!!!!!

Take good care of yourself - no coffee, cigarettes, alcohol.....

Please keep us updated.

Great news Suzet!
It reminds me of a girl I went to school with. She was told long before her and her husband got married that she may not be able to conceive. They went for tests before they got married and they were told both her tubes were blocked and there was nothing they could do. So they started to look into adoption options. On her honeymoon she got the flu really bad....so she thought. Turned out she was pregnant! They went on to have 2 more kids!

Suzet, I am so very happy for you.

Thanks for sharing the news !!
What a wonderful blessing.

Please update us as to how you are doing, and may you continue to find Joy in the Journey.

SS

Congratulations!

Right after a fertility clinic refused to work with us unless I used donor eggs, I got pregnant with twins. Miracles do happen!

My prayers for you and for a healthy, happy, safe pregnancy!

Absolutely God Sent! Congrads to you and the H! I will certainly pray for you and your family for a smooth ride along the way!

RIn

Dear all,

Thanks very much for the all the prayers & good wishes, I appreciate it very much! I will definitely keep you all updated.

FH, I’m so glad to hear your son and daughter-in-law is going to have a baby too! (You told me last year about their infertility problem). I’m so glad for all of you! You must be very excited. Will this be the first grandchild? My H is the only son, so you can just imagine how excited his parents were when they’ve heard the news. They have started to accept that they will proably never have a grandchild, but now they have also something to look forward too! My younger brother have 2 kids already and although it will not be the first one for my parents, they are just as exciting - especially since they know how much we have longed for this to happen.

Jayne241, I’ve heard miracle stories like yours (and the one Suamico posted about) many times before…that’s why I’ve never gave up on the hope and belief that the same miracle would happen to us. I’ve always felt doubtful about the intro-fertilization in our case… I never felt sure that the intro-fertilization was the way for us to go and that it would succeed. I never understood that feeling, but now I know why… In our case, it was meant to happen without it!

Blessings,
Suzet

Proverbs 31


I am delighted Suzet !

May you be BLESSED by this child ! Hallelujah !

Thanks Bob, that's a very precious chapter/verse!

Suzet, yes, my wife and I are very excited and thankful to God for all of His mercies and blessings.

This will be a second grandchild for us, a first grandchild for my DIL's parents and they are thrilled!. Her sister also has problems and isn't likely to conceive either.

In addition, my eldest daugther and her husband are expecting a daughter, also in August, so we will have 3 grandchildren next Christmas.

Our youngest son and his wife have a wonderful baby boy (7 mos. old) and he is a delight.

I know it's "early" for you, but sonagrams are amazing things these days and when you get to them you'll understand too. That tiny human being is miraculous as you see it growing and developing...and you can choose as my daughter and her husband did to know the sex of the child or as my son and his wife did, to not know and be "surprised" the "old fashioned way" with whatever gift God has given them.

God bless.

FH, we will be going for my 1st sonar and full examination next week. We both would like to know the sex of the baby beforehand (we will be far too curious to have the patience to wait until the baby is born! ), however I think it must be very special to be "surprised" the "old fashioned way" too. Interestingly, we both (and 2 other family members) have a feeling that it is going to be a girl. However, whether it's a boy or girl doesn’t matter, as long as the baby is normal & healthy.

My younger brother and his wife have a baby boy of 7 months old and a little girl of 2 yrs old (she tuns 3 in October). We are the godparents of them both and also the godparents of a 8 year old boy of close friends.

God Bless.

However, whether it's a boy or girl doesn’t matter, as long as the baby is normal & healthy.

Amen!!!

That is wonderful news Suzet. You must both be thrilled. TT

Congratulations Suzet.

wonderful news! everything always happens in God's timing.

Twila Paris, one of my favorite christian artists, shared a story about her pregnancy. She and her husband had tried for years to have a child. After being married forever, and with her in her early 40's, it finally happened. She said God has a wonderful sense of humor for she found out she was pregnant while playing the part of Sarah in a play (Abraham's wife who got pregnant in very old age, from the Old Testament)!

I am happy for you! I hope to have more children one day as well. Need to find a wonderful husband first, but, all in God's time.

I just love stories like these. I had a colleague who believed she couldn't have children. On a posting to Fiji, they adopted a little girl. They then moved to HK and adopted a little chinese sister for their polynesian daughter. A few years later, at the age of 46, she suddenly found herself pregnant naturally and had a baby boy. She had a beautiful rainbow family and I was always touched that my daughter had no concept at the age of 10 that they weren't a natural family. It didn't occur to her that a white family couldn't give birth to a black or chinese child.
Once again Suzet, this is such wonderful news. You will be a great mum.
TT

Thanks TT, Bigk and simply_me!

Something else I want to share:

At a coffee shop a while ago, me and my H bumped into a Christian lady we both know relatively well, but don’t have contact with very often. She knows about our situation and asked us if we have tried for a baby yet with the intro-fertilization. We shared with her our longing to conceive “naturally” if it’s God’s will. She took our names and cell phone numbers and said she’s going to add us to a prayer list. Yesterday when I phoned her to inform her about the wonderful news too, she shared with me that a major prayer action had taken place on the 10th of May at a certain place in our city. (It was leaded by a Christian person who has made it his life goal to testify about God and spread the Word of God as far as possible). She said when couples with infertility problems were asked to raise so that they can be prayed for, she stood up on our behalf and there were specifically prayed for us as well. I looked on the calendar and realized that I conceived approximately around the same time this had taken place… I was stunned and amazed by this realization… What a wonderful testimony of God’s goodness and almightiness… All the praise to Him!

Dear Suzet,

Congratulations! I couldn't help but read your thread which promised (and delivered) "wonderful news." How refreshing to hear of happy events in this forum!

My sister (who is dealing with her husband's infidelity) owns an adoption agency, and frequently counsels infertile couples. She often shares stories about her clients and the amazing ways in which they become parents.

We must always trust that God has a plan for us greater anything we can ever imagine.

Many blessings to you, and best of luck!

Carlee

Some feedback/update on the pregnancy:

Yesterday my H and I went to the doctor for my 2nd sonar. The doctor is very satisfied and everything looks good. The baby’s heartbeat and growth is normal and everything that needs to be there is there (arms, feet etc.). The screen test for Down syndrome showed there is almost no risk for the syndrome. Blood were drawn to test for other things as well (it’s just procedure) and the results will be available in a week’s time. However, I just know everything will be fine!

The “miniature” baby is now 5 cm long (approximately 2 inches). I’m now 11 weeks pregnant and according to the sonar, my due date is 31 Jan next year. It’s so amazing and exciting to watch that tiny little being on the sonar, to hear the heartbeat and to think it will develop in a full grown baby over the next few months! It’s really wonderful and amazing how God created life and knit a new baby together in the womb…

I have used antidepressants chronically for a period of more than 5 years (mainly because of genetic disorders in my family). After my pregnancy was confirmed, the doctor advised me to preferably go off the AD and see how I feel. I weaned it off within 2 weeks and I’m totally off the AD for 3 weeks now. I’m doing absolutely fine and didn’t have any major withdrawal symptoms from the AD. The previous time I tried to get of the AD I struggled severely (even while I have weaned it off over a few months). This time it was so different and I’m so grateful.

Blessings to all,
Suzet

Congratulations Suzet!

And many still think it's not a baby, even with the "look inside" evidence. Hard to believe.

If you get a chance to have a 3D/4D sonagram (sonar) done, it's quite amazing to see the detail. My daughter who is due in a few weeks had one done last May. Amazing!

God bless!

Yes, God bless all of you.

We hope this experience is all that you hope it will be.
It always was for us.

SS

Suzet, reading this takes me back to that wonderful time when Squid was carrying our first child ! What MAGICAL times they were !

Walking in the wonder and awe of a new life being "knit together" within her !

May God raise this child up strong, and righteous, with loving parents who bless it ! Amen !

Thank you FH, SS and Bob – I appreciate your words and will keep you updated!



A while ago my H and I watched the Christian movie “Facing the giants” on DVD. The movie touched us very much. The couple in the movie struggled with infertility and their specific situation (with regards to infertility) was EXACTLY the same as me and my H. Towards the end of the movie, God blessed them with TWO little “miracles”. If you can watch the movie, please do so, it’s very, very good. The other story lines and Christian messages in it are very good and touching as well.

Suzet,

Many blessings for you and your child. God does work miracles everyday.

My W was in the hospital yeaars ago and was about to undergo a D&C, but a second medical opinion was necessaary to proceed. The second Dr. disagreed and felt instead my W was pregnant.

They released her from the hospital and she immediately went to the lab for testing. You guessed it, she was pregnant with my youngest son.

I thank God for intervening and stopping that proceedure that would have surely killed my son. We still refer to him as our miracle child.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Suzet:

The miracle of a kid

I sang to my son when he was in the womb. He was fussing on the warming table and I sang the song. He reached for me. I still get a lump in my throat when I think about it.

Congratulations and all the best.

Larry

Hi friends,

We went for another scan/sonar yesterday and this time the doctor did a 4D sonar as well. How wonderful and amazing! We could see the legs, hand and fingers moving and we could also see the baby open its mouth to drink the amniotic fluid.

It’s now almost 17 weeks. The baby is now 11.7 cm (4.6 inches) long from head to bum and weights 164 grams (0.36 pounds). Growth is 100% normal and healthy at this stage. The biggest surprise of all...the doctor could tell sex of the baby yesterday and...

it’s a BOY!

It was such a big surprise because for one or other reason, both of us thought from the beginning it would be a girl!

I felt the first sign of movement last week Saturday while I was busy with an exercising video and then again afterwards in the shower. It was very, very fleeting and light but I’m sure it was there... I haven’t felt it again since then. I’ve read on the Internet most women start feeling movement (“quickening”) from about 18 weeks or more, but it’s possible to start feeling it as early as 15 or 16 weeks.

We still stand up every morning and feel so blessed and amazed by this...sometimes it still feels unreal... We can't wait to hold our boy in our arms!

Blessings to all.
Suzet

AAAhhhh!! It won't be long until you hold your little boy in your arms but in the meantime, enjoy the thrill of your first pregnancy. Having a baby wiggle around inside is just amazing. Keep well and so glad you're off the medication without too much hassle. I'm sure you don't have much cause to be on AD's at the moment - you sound over the moon.

Hi TT, yes I’m very excited but with it also goes fears and worries like “Will I be a good mom?”; “Will I/we be able to provide for our child’s emotional, physical and spiritual needs…will I be up to the responsibility?” ; “Will I cope?” etc. For me, the visits for the sonar also goes with some anxiety (because beforehand I wonder if everything will still be well with the child) and then afterwards follows the big relief when the doctor indeed confirms that everything is still well and normal!

I’m so grateful I was able to go off the AD’s without too much hassle. At the beginning of the year my doctor discovered a problem with my thyroid levels and I’m using thyroid medication since then. The doctor also monitors the levels closely while I’m pregnant now. I have a suspicion that the abnormal levels of the thyroid functions might have been the cause for some of my depression/anxiety problems all along and that the stabilized thyroid levels after I’ve started the thyroid medication, was probably the reason why it was so easy for me to go off the AD’s. However, because of my depression history and family history of depression, I realize I might be at huge risk for post-partum depression after birth and will not hesitate to go back on medication should it be necessary.

A while back I had some severe emotional stress because of my younger brother – he found out his wife cheated on him sexually and I was extremely sad, upset and worried about him (he was near a break down at that point). The night he called me with some more bad news he found out about his wife, I had some bleeding for the first time since the pregnancy and was very worried about it because I’ve read that any type of bleeding might be a sign of threatening miscarriage... Luckily the bleeding stopped that same night and after a visit to the doctor, it was confirmed that everything is still well with the pregnancy. However, the doctor warned me to try and avoid any type of emotional stress (or to try and distance myself from it) since it is not healthy for the pregnancy. It seems my brother’s W is starting to “get it” now and they are trying to work things out now (they have 2 small kids).

Ah, how wonderful! Thanks for sharing with us the excitement and good news. Prayers for your continued health and blessings.

It's good that your doctor is aware of the potential for post-partum depression and will be watching. Worrying about whether you'll be a good parent is natural... it would be a bad sign if you didn't worry! Prepare to have that worry for the rest of your life... when he gets his first fever... takes his first steps... learns to ride his first bike... drive his first car... go on his first date... gets his first job...

Sorry, there's time enough for that later.

Suzet,

You do realize that you already ARE these things, right?

That you ask is an indication of your being them already.

All my love,
Kimmy

Dealan-de, thinking of it that way gives it a new perspective – thank you! When I have those doubts, I’m also thinking: “Well, God wouldn’t have blessed us with this miracle if He didn’t trust us with it or thought we wouldn’t be up to the task...”

Jayne, I get what you’re saying! What you’ve said made me think of something a good friend once said to me: “Having a child is like having your heart on the outside permanently...especially when the child grows bigger and starts exploring the world out there...”

Suzet, just wanted to say congratulations on the news that you are having a boy! Little boys love their moms in a very special way.

I think your pregnancy happened in God's time.

HE knew what was best for you and your marriage/family.

Remember that.

Anyone up for a virtual shower for Suzet?

I'll begin it on another thread for her.

Dear friends,

I just want to report that everything is still going well with the pregnancy. I’m now in the 24th week of pregnancy and it is a bit less than 4 months before the baby will be born. I can’t believe time is going by so fast! The only “downside” is that symptoms of depression and anxiety have started to return recently after I’ve stopped the chronic use of anti-dep 3 months ago on my doctor’s request (for the safety of the pregnancy), but at this stage it’s not too severe and I try to keep things under control with natural supplements (that’s safe to use during pregnancy) and mild exercise. The only thing I really find difficult to control is sleeplessness and some days I feel extremely tired at work because of that. My doctor said if I really feel it is necessary and my symptoms get worse, I can go back on the anti-dep although it might have a slight risk during the 3rd trimester. However, I’m not willing to take the slightest risk that might endanger our baby’s development and really want to try and stay of the medication at least until the baby is born. This pregnancy is such a blessing to us and I did not want anything to put a “damper” on this special time, but I guess there’s things in life one can’t always control and I must try to view this as only a small “bump” in the road.

Blessings to all,
Suzet

Great news, Suzet!


Now, what seems to trigger a depressive mood in you?

Thanks FH!

I’m not aware of anything specific that triggers a depressive mood. I will just wake up one morning feeling terribly “down”, depressive and tired (especially if I had less sleep that night). When I feel like that I can almost describe it as this “dark cloud” hanging over me, something I can’t control or change with happy or positive thoughts (even if I try). Sometimes the depressive moods will carry on for only a few hours before my mood start to lift again and other days it last for a full day and then the next morning I will wake up with a “lighter” mood again. I’ve experienced the only thing that really helps during such times to lift my mood is exercise or being busy with something that keeps me active. It seems the depressive episodes strikes me out of the blue (usually when I wake up in the morning) without any reason or “trigger” and I can’t explain it. Me and my H returned from a 2 weeks holiday from Cape Town the past weekend and even during the holiday (where I had no work related stress or other things to do and could just relax with my H), I had these depressive episodes and extreme mood fluctuations.

That is so super cool.

I'm happy for you and your husband Suzet.

Gee, I don't know (and obviously you don't either) what the CAUSE might be, but one thing seems rather plain and obvious from what you wrote here. The depressive feelings are a SYMPTOM that follow things you do or don't do, even with respect to sleep.

So if what you said in the parathesis seems to be true, then WHY don't you treat "lack of, or insufficient" sleep as an "allergy?" By that I mean, if you KNOW that some things cause you break out in hives or have another allergic reaction if you eat something you know you should not, then why don't you AVOID eating those things? The same thing would seem to hold true for the "lack of enough sleep" issue that seems to cause you break out in the "hives" of depression. GET enough sleep. SCHEDULE the sleep and REFUSE to allow anything to interfere with it. TRY it, at least for the remainder of the pregnancy, and see how the "symptoms" respond to actually DOING something that may help.




Okay, the way to break through any "Fog" or "dark cloud" is to shine LIGHT on it. Just how "dark" or "light" is the FACT that you ARE, by the grace of God, pregnant? That you in a recovering, recovered marriage? That you should have learned that "worry" is depressing, but with God you don't "have to" shoulder worry alone when you can give it Him and ask Him for HIS assistance, as He has promised? You do read Philippians 4:13 from time to time, don't you?




There's that "adequate sleep" issue again. Are you listening to yourself?




Can you say "endorphins" and can you say "you are what you think?"




Here we go "waking up" again. No reason or "trigger?"

SLEEP. It seems patently obvious that YOU need more sleep than you are getting some nights, and you may even need more sleep than someone else. Just like it is YOUR marriage, it is YOUR sleep that seems to be a "baseline issue" here.




Ya, stress doesn't seem to be trigger. You've always been able to rise above the stress. But not "recharging your batteries" long enough....that seems to be an issue.

And when you do feel depressed and "moody," WHAT do you "think about" and/or "dwell on?" WHAT do you DO to release endorphins into your system?

I applaud you for trying to stay off the meds while pregnant. It may be that your brain chemicals are just naturally a bit off. Exercise and relaxation exercises can help with the sleeping problem.

Other than that, come here and we will help you get through this. Once baby is here, you can go back on your meds. Can you get some time off work? Because you know the baby will keep you up nights, too.

FH

I was not clear on something so let me clear up the misunderstanding you have about my “lack of sleep”: I don’t get enough sleep because I developed a form of insomnia/sleeplessness a few weeks ago. I wake up several times during the night and then struggle to fall asleep again. As a result I never achieve high quality sleep one needs during a normal “8 hour sleep” night to feel completely rested and energized. It’s the first time in my life I have this problem and I discussed it with my doctor during my last visit. He prescribed some magnesium supplements at evening and changed my thyroid medication to a slightly lower dose because a too high dose might be the cause of the sleeplessness as well. But I do suspect it is related to the symptoms of depression that has returned after I’ve stopped the anti-dep medication.

FH, my depression has nothing to do with “worry”, a “lack” of relationship with God etc. I’m very grateful and feel very blessed about all the good and positive things in my life, especially the miracle of this pregnancy God has given to us. If you have followed my history during the years you will know I used anti-dep’s chronically because of a genetic disorder e.g. an imbalance of serotonin levels in my brain. A lack of serotonin levels in the brain are related to depression, anxiety and a lack of serotonin can also lead to sleeplessness. Even the biggest Christians with very close relationship with God can have a sickness and/or chemistry imbalances in the body etc. Incorrect/insufficient serotonin levels can be correct by medication and I know serotonin levels can also be raised by certain foods and exercise as well as some natural supplements. Since I’m pregnant and don’t want to expose the baby to any risks due to anti-dep medication, I’ve decided to go off the medication and stay off it temporarily at least until the baby is born. In stead I focus on other ways to help combat the insufficient serotonin levels.

Believer

Believer, since childhood my mood always felt “lower” than that of the average person and it is because my brain chemicals are naturally a bit off genetically (see my post to FH above).

Believer, I can get time off work if really necessary by taking sick leave approving by the doctor. However, at the moment I’m still okay and I will go on maternity leave from middle December. The one positive thing from all this is that I’m already getting used to the lack of sleep I will get at night as soon as the little one arrives!

My apology, Suzet.

Then it would appear that you DO know the reason.

It appeared from what you wrote previously that you didn't know.

Again, sorry, and I'll bow out.

Continued good health and good luck with the pregnancy.

FH, from my side I also want to apologize to you for not being clear in the first place. When you asked me what triggers the depressive moods I thought you were talking about external factors/stressors in everyday life and/or emotional issues like worry, negative thinking etc. and I know sometimes those things can trigger and contribute to depression as well even in spite or in addition to physical issues. I should have pointed out to you in the first place why I started medication years ago (the cause) but since I’ve posted about it on the forum from time to time in the past, I thought you knew about it already.

Thanks FH for you good wishes! As I've said previously, this issue I currently have is just a small “bump” in the road in comparison with the great blessing we received!

NS: FH, if I remember correctly your grandchild must have been born somewhere in August? You posted that your son and his W did not want to know the sex of the baby beforehand. Was/is it a boy or girl? We wanted to know the sex of the baby and found out on the 16 week scan that it's going to be a boy. At the same scan we also had a 4D scan and it was amazing to see all the detail on that sonar. During the 21 week sonar the doctor did a 4D again but the baby was to "shy" to show his face and we could only see the arms and legs!

^Bump for FH since I've added some stuff to my response above.^

Best wishes to you !!

I know that we all have up's and down's, but we hope (and pray) things go well for you, your H, and the baby.

We also hope and pray for a complete recovery for your brothers family.

Thanks for the update.

SS

Thank you SS. My brother recently found out his W was involved in a sexual affair with a 2nd man as well and is currently busy with divorce proceedings.

So sorry, I had hoped it could be worked out. What a terrible toll infidelity is taking on the world we live in. The cost in broken homes, and broken lives is staggering.

I hope the two of you are able to help your brother cope. I would guess that this is one of the sources of your stress.

Learning about depression has been very eye opening, and helpful for me. What you speak of can be hereditary, and is often passed down to children. My mother has fought with this all her life. I escaped until a few years ago. The interesting thing is, that even when you understand what it is, and where it comes from, it still gets to you.

I still feel I have a wonderful life, and I try not to complain (to my wife, and family.) We just learn to deal with it the best we can. I really do pray for you. I am glad you have the H you have.

We hope you come back from time to time, and let us know how things go.

God be with you.

SS

Suzet - Depression runs in my family. I have several ancestors who committed suicide. My sis has been on anti-D's for the last 20 years and is doing fine. I've been lucky and only had 2 episodes of depression, which I took meds for. Each went away in about 6 months.

I was looking for the food you should eat on the internet. It said turkey, bananas, milk, yogurt, nuts, beans and cheese. Maybe that is what has helped me, because I eat lots of beans!

Thanks for your prayers SS! I will update from time to time.

Yes, my brother’s situation is very sad and tragic for us, but we do help and support him where we can. My brother is almost 9 years younger than me (only 27 years old). I feel very protective of him and he has always been very close to my heart.

SS, what you say is very true. Understanding depression and where it comes from doesn’t help one to escape it, although knowledge about it can help one cope and control it on some level. In my case the depression is definitely hereditary (genetic). Depression runs very strong on my mother’s side of the family and there have been 7 cases of suicide during the years. There have been times my mother struggled with depression and anxiety as well although she is able to keep it under control without any medication.

You know SS, before I’ve experienced depression myself and started medication, I always thought of depression as something that is only a “problem in the head/thoughts” and that a person can get “over” the depression by “pulling themselves together” or developing a close relationship with God or becoming spiritual/religious. Because of this way of thinking, I was very hard on myself when I first experienced depression. As a result, I initially refused to take medication and thought I would be able to overcome it with positive thoughts and a closer relationship with God (by praying more, doing more Bible study etc), but nothing of these things helped to relieve the depression. I even became harder on myself and the mood fluctuations became more severe. Only after my counselor talked to me seriously, convinced me to take medication and started to educate me about depression and how it can be caused by wrong brain chemistry levels especially if its is genetic/hereditary, I started to gain correct knowledge about depression and I realized how totally off base I was with my wrong perceptions. Sadly, there are still many people out there today who are not educated about the topic and have the wrong perceptions I once had about it. Now that I know what is the cause of my depressive moods, I just take it as it comes and goes and try not to get upset/concerned about it...and this also helps the episodes to pass quicker when I does experience it. My type of personality/temperament (melancholic) also plays a role. Depression can indeed be managed (like any other sickness or disorder) with medication and/or certain life style changes (diet, supplements, exercise etc.). I really view this as just a minor problem comparing to all the many blessings in my life and the many things I have to be grateful for!

Believer, depression runs in my family too (see my post to Still Seeking above).

I do take a lot of milk, yoghurt, nuts and cheese but not beans and turkey. I will try and include beans in my diet more often. Thank for your suggestions Believer! I have read that a healthy starch (like wholegrain/seed bread) with some protein (like cheese) as a snack just before bedtime help to raise the serotonin levels to assist with sleep. Also a glass of warm milk with vanilla.

((((((((((((((Suzet)))))))))))))))))

I'm just so stinkin' excited for you!

Have you picked out a name? Nursery all ready?

Yes Believer, we picked out a name already! There will be 2 names. The middle name will be used to name after my father-in-law. The nursery is in progress although far from ready yet! There are still a lot of things we have to buy, but I do have a list of everything we will need and most of the “bigger” or more expensive stuff (stroller, car seat, baby monitor etc.) we will get closer to the time since some of those things will have one year guanrantees.

Suzet. Thank you for asking.

The Lord blessed us with 2 more grandchildren in August. First, my daughter and her husband presented us with a beautiful little girl. Then, a couple of weeks later, my son and his wife (who did not know the sex of the baby until birth) presented us a wonderful baby boy. So now we have 2 grandsons and 1 granddaughter. Christmas will be interesting this year, to say nothing of more things to be very thankful for at Thanksgiving.

I don't know what your colors or scheme is, but my cousin cleaned up on nursery decor at Ikea! She had the best stuff, and it was very affordable.

May I suggest that you keep in mind for carseats and strollers to look to see how easy it is to get the covers off to launder. There is nothing worse than trying to get soppy spit up covered thing off and making more of a mess because the dern cover won't come off.

Have I mentioned that kids are some of my favorite critters?

Course after 5 of 'em, I guess it's kinda apparent.

FH, congratulations with your 2 new grandchildren - a boy and girl, what a blessing!

Dealan-de, I will definitely keep your suggestion about the covers for the stroller and car seat in mind – actually it’s something I didn’t think off before, so thank you!

5 children – wow, I can just imagine how full you life must be with them! How many sons and/or daughters do you have?

Both my H and I don’t know how it feels to be in a big family. My H is the only child and I only have a younger brother. My H told me it was very lonely for him to be raised as a single child and he always wondered how it must be to have a brother/sister. Therefore, if it’s God will, we would like to be blessed with a 2nd “miracle” one day so that the little one we are expecting can have a little sister or brother…but that’s God decision alone and we will be happy/content whatever His decision/will for us!

I've 3 boys and 2 girls. The boys are 18, 8 and 4 and the girls are 12(35) and 5 (27).

I had lots of cousins who were like siblings, but it was just my sister and me.

My Wookie had 6 siblings.

My abode is noise and organized chaos until 8 pm (bedtime for the youngers).

We are in the process of building a new house. They begin framing next week...and can't move fast enough for my tastes. I can't wait to be able to tell them to go upstairs to play!

God is good Suz. He sees hard work and rewards accordingly. I know, cos the Wookie and I are livin' it!

May I suggest you register somewhere for your baby shower? That way you can pick out all the stuff you want and people can get you the right stuff. Then after the shower you can get the rest. I know you don't have a large family but one of the greatest things both sides of our family did was go in on the bigger ticket items. We got a cradle, infant seat with stroller, a swing (A God send) and a crib! I don't know how you feel about used stuff but here there a lot of places with almost new stuff at kids second hand stores. The only thing I would not get used is a car seat. They have a life span and they are constantly being updated with safety updates. I would suggest not getting a cradle but instead get a pack-n-play. You only use the cradle for a few months but the pack-n-play can be used for years. It can be used for a cradle, traveling and a play pen. There will be times like when you have to go to the bathroom and you need to put the baby down it is handy to have. There are so many new stuff out there now that wasn't available when I had kids. I got a boppy for the last one and that wasn't around when I had the first 3. It was wonderful to use when I breastfed her.

I am so happy for you! I saw a newborn the other day and I just wanted to take that baby and hold it....sigh, I miss that new baby smell. As you can see from my sig my youngest is 6. The years go by so fast!

You got one up on me! I thought you comment on the girls ages and real ages was funny. We have 12 and 6 year old girls that act like they are 30.

I am number 4 of 6 and DH is 9 of 9 so we are used to all the "excitement" around the house. I am a SAHM and when they all went off to school this fall the house was TOO quiet!

Update:

Everything is still going well with the developing baby and I’m now almost in my 27th week of pregnancy. I can’t believe time has passed by so fast and that I will enter the last (3rd) trimester soon! During the last scan (on 25 weeks) our little boy measured 750 gram (1.65 pound) already and the doctor was 100% satisfied with the growth etc.

On a negative side: My sleeping problem has gotten worse over the past 3 few weeks and as a result I became extremely exhausted, stressed and the mood fluctuations intensified. The doctor prescribed some sleeping pills and said it will be safe to use if I don’t take it more than 2 times a week to get some relief. It helped a bit during the few times I’ve taken it, but I still waked up often during the night and felt exhausted (and sometimes unable to go to work) the next morning.

Early this week I made an appointment with my physiatrist and after an evaluation he advised me to go back on anti-depressants. He said the sleeping problem (and other problems I also experience) is directly related to the depression that has returned after I’ve stopped the medication earlier this year. He said the risks to the baby if the depression and related stress/anxiety become worse outweigh the small risk the anti-depressant might have for the baby. He prescribed me the SSRI medication Zoloft - the same class anti-dep I previously used (Cipramil) but with a smaller risk to the baby. He prescribed the lowest dose together with a light sleeping aid I can use together with Zoloft for the next 2 weeks.

He advised me to use Zoloft for the remainder of the pregnancy and then weans it off approximately 2 weeks before the baby will be born to avoid any withdrawal symptoms for the baby. He said I will not necessarily be at risk for post-natal depression directly or a certain period after birth and therefore, if I want to breastfeed, I should try to stay of the anti-depressant as long as possible during breastfeeding. It seems Zoloft is relatively safe to use during pregnancy because it doesn’t cross the placenta as readily as the other SSRI’s, but some of it (a small percentage) are excreted into breast milk.

I hate the fact to be back on anti-dep’s while I’m still pregnant, but I realize I must do what is best for me and my baby so me and my H have carefully considered and decided to follow the physiatrist’s advice.

Are you still working?

In my last trimester I had to only work half days and be on rest for the rest of the day.

Is that an option for you?

It sounds like you could use all the rest you can get right now, even if it's not sleeping.

(((Suz)))

Dealan-de,

Yes, I’m still working. The institution I’m working for will close on 12 December and re-open in January, but I’m not going to return in January (the baby will be due towards the end of January).

I don’t know if the half day work from now until we close in Dec will be an option for me, but it’s something I can discuss with my line-managers.

Dealan-de, did you get a motivation letter from your doctor to do this (the afternoon rest) or was it an internal arrangement between you and your superiors/line-managers?

Yea! You are almost 2/3 of the way there. You are already past the critical part so that must make you feel some relief.

I know you didn’t want to go back on medication but I think it is great that you and your DH really talked about what was best for the family. You and your DH are the ones that know what is best. Good luck!

My doc recommended it.

Well Suamico, after I’ve spoken to my GP (house doctor) yesterday after I’ve posted here, I really don’t know if following the psychiatrist advice will indeed be the right course of action anymore...

According to the psychiatrist, the medication won’t have a high risk for the baby, but according to research I’ve done on the Internet yesterday about SSRI’s and pregnancy, it seems SSRI’s might have additional others risks as well than those that are generally known amongst doctors. Many baby’s who are born to women who are using these type of medication throughout their pregnancies, are healthy and doesn’t have any problems, but what about the possible long term effects that might have an influence much later in childhood or adolescence? It seems there is not really research on this (possible long term effects).

I wanted to speak to both my GP and Gynecologist yesterday and inform them about the psychiatrist recommendations. The Gyn wasn’t available but I could get hold of the GP. My GP was VERY upset and said he doesn’t agree with the psychiatrist recommendations AT ALL and that he doesn’t believe any pregnant woman should take ANY of such medication especially before the 34th week of pregnancy… He did not explain his reasons but was very firm about this. He said I should speak to my Gyn and the Gyn should make the final decision, but he made it very clear that even if the Gyn would agree to it, he doesn’t think it will be the right thing to do.

I feel very upset and confused about all of this. I’m going to make an urgent appointment with my Gyn today and hear what he has to say (my H will go with me)... After some things I’ve read on the Internet and my GP’s reaction, I really doubt if I should continue with the medication at all... Before I’ve spoken to my GP today, I felt relatively okay and at peace with the decision to go back on the meds but now... I’ve made it this far in the pregnancy (6 months) without any medication and why should I take a risk when I only have 3 months left and already waited 12 years for this miracle to happen? The psychiatrist said all the symptoms I experience (sleeplessness, total loss of libido, tiredness, mood fluctuations etc.) are all a result of the depression that has started to return, but according to what I’ve read those can all be attributed to the pregnancy due to hormonal changes as well… The fact is, I was totally fine for the first 2 or 3 months after I’ve stopped the medication and didn’t even have any withdrawal symptoms from it... H and I have spoken again yesterday afternoon and we both think maybe the best course of action right now will be to stop the medication right away and ask the Gyn to book me off work for the rest of pregnancy (it’s only 6 weeks until the institution will close for December) so that I can take the time to relax and rest at home and prepare for the baby’s arrival…and when I’m not able to sleep for most of the night, at least I will not have to worry of going to work the next day exhausted and tired. I will go to my Gyn today and discuss this option with him.

If there are any people on this board with knowledge and/or experience about his matter, I would like to hear from it.

I haven't read your thread completely (and I don't post much anymore due to OW and her prying eyes)...but I do have first-hand experience with SSRI's and pregnancy.

I have been taking Prozac for almost 20 years. I take it for OCD, but it helps others with depression. I take 20-40 mg per day.

When I got pregnant, we discussed the option of me going off of my meds. Pregnant bodies have been known to do miraculous things and be able to handle all sorts of challenges that they normally cannot handle. We thought that I might be able to handle it without the meds. My doc was the head of OB at a prominent hospital and he said that in his experience there have been little, if any, adverse affects from mother's taking SSRI's during pregnancy and breast-feeding.

While he understood the desire to avoid medications if possible, my doctor asked me to think of it this way. When I protect myself from harm, I protect my baby from harm. For me, taking my meds was protection from harm. I was better off taking them than stopping. You have to decide how important it is to YOUR well being to continue your meds. Can you care for yourself (thus caring for your baby) without taking them? If not, then you need to continue to take them. Your baby needs a healthy mommy. You have to take care of you first or else the baby has no chance at all.

Hugs,
MS

MogiSola, thanks for sharing your experience, I appreciate it!

I originally started taking SSRI’s more than 5 years ago for OCD with associated depression and anxiety, but this is the first time in my life I experience a severe problem with insomnia and I wonder if it could be related to the pregnancy only. According to the psychiatrist it’s not, but even during the most stressed periods in my life and during the times I was depressed (before I started with the Anti-Dep) I never had a real problem with sleeplessness. Only for a few days or so, but then my sleeping pattern would return to normal. Originally when I started taking the SSRI, I struggled with sleep (as a side effect) for the first 4 months of use – I would sleep and wake up in the early morning hours but after that I was able to sleep again until the morning.

I’m using the Zoloft for the past 2 days now and even with the sleeping pill the doctor gave me, I can’t sleep more than 3,5 hours a night. I went to sleep at 10:00 pm for the past 2 nights (after I’ve taken the sleeping pill) and then woke up around 1:30 and not been able to get back to sleep again. I don’t really felt tired when I woke up during the past 2 nights but by the time I go to work I feel very tired and sluggish.

MogiSola, did you ever struggle with prolonged insomnia from the 2nd trimester of your pregnancy (especially during the time you've stopped taking the Prozac)?

Suzette--I have not read this whole thread, and I'm not going to do it tonight either, since I've got a grandkid with me that needs lights out. But it sounds to me like you may be correct that the pregnancy itself is responsible for some of your symptoms, exacerbated by fatigue from lack of sleep. Going off work is a good idea, I think, and you can then nap during the day as needed. Ambien is commonly given during pregnancy for sleep; it would be best not to take it as a regular thing, but it's still a frequently-prescribed drug. The other option for you is Benadryl (or whatever local drug store equivalent of the generic Diphenhydramine is available). This antihistamine comes in 25mg tablets or capsules, and a dose of one or two at bedtime is the recommended dose for adults. It also is used frequently in pregnancy.

If lack of sleep is your underlying cause of symptoms, then correcting that alone may take care of the whole thing for you. It's certainly worth a try. I see this as a sequence, which you've already begun: (1) Off work, (2) easier to meet sleep requirements by resting as needed instead of having to keep to a schedule (3) if frequent naps don't help then either the over-the-counter (Benadryl) or prescription (Ambien/Zolpidem) sleep aids may be useful, (4) antidepressants if above measures are unsuccessful or if your symptoms worsen and you start feeling dangerous to yourself.

I've just had to go on permanent disability after 40 years of nursing, 30 of it in labor and delivery. I have NOBODY to give advice to and would be happy to answer questions for you between visits. Many doctors tend to have a tendency to prescribe medication for everything. I think consulting with your OB about this is a good idea. Now go to bed and get some sleep!

T&L is one of my angels, Suz.

Are you exercising at all?

I swam every day with my 2nd pg - even the day I went in to labor - and it was the EASIEST pg I had.

There are quite a few stretching techniques out there for pregnant gals - and a good bout of stretching a few hours before bedtime HELPS TONS.

Chamomile is good for relaxation...infact there are a few sleepy time teas that help one to relax. Stay away from any that have raspberry in it, tho. Raspberry can cause contractions.

If your dh is home when you go to bed, ask him to massage you with cool rosemary water (regular tap water that has had rosemary sprigs soaking in it). It is VERY relaxing. Have him stay away from your footerpegs, though. There are some massage points on the soles of the feet that, when stimulated, can also cause contractions.

With my 3rd pg, I had trouble with staying asleep. Believe it or not, it's pretty common. It's the way God made us so that we would be "trained" to be on the baby's call (dang kids). Sadly, some of us don't grow out of it the way the babies do.

I know you're exhausted and worried, but that's an oroborous...it won't end unless YOU change something to take the tail out of the mouth.

I'm still with T&L on maybe getting a doc's permission to take off work so you can rest. Even if you're not sleeping all the way through the night, laying down and RESTING during the day will help you (boring as it is...)

I'm also with Mori (sp) - you need to take care of yourself because YOU are the only one that can take care of mijo right now. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure after my 2nd pg, so with my 3rd we had to dink around with meds till we found one that both worked and were safe for baby. You do what you can to be healthy and safe. Okay? It's a must. If you don't take care of you, NO ONE can take care of baby.

All my love,
Kimmy

Hey Suzet, if you can't sleep, then at least get your feet up and rest as much as possible. With my first pregnancy I developed a terrible itch over my torso and legs. I could literally have ripped my skin off it was so bad. It was worse at night and a cool bath was about the only thing that soothed it. It was weird - no noticeable rash but it plagued me throughout the pregnancy. It was probably the first time I ever experienced insomnia although it had a noticeable cause. It disappeared almost as soon as the baby was born and then I couldn't sleep either!

With my second pregnancy, (twins) I looked like a beached whale and developed fluidy ankles that were the same width as my thighs. I couldn't sleep because I just couldn't get comfortable - there was a constant battle for space and a pain in my groin that was excrutiating and wouldn't allow me to lie back. I couldn't even lie properly on the operating table for the C-section - they had to manoeuvre me into position after they'd knocked me out. No itch this time though!

I had terrible pregnancies. I probably had one healthy month in both. Loads of sickness at the start, a grace period where I 'bloomed' and then it was all downhill until the birth. But hey, I got babies at the end of it. They're great.

Edited to add: I hope you do get some time off if you feel really run down. Given that you waited so long for this baby, you should do anything and everything to look after yourself. Take care Suzet.

Suzet -

I had a major problem with sleeplessness after d-day. Not immediately after, but a few months in. One thing that I did was shift my meds to the morning. I'm not sure if they were really the factor causing sleeplessness, but it eventually worked itself out. I think there were a few weeks where I slept off and on a matter of mere hours.

As for during pregnancy, I don't know that I really slept much at all in the second trimester. It was not drug related though. I was HUGE and pretty much had to sleep in the lazyboy to sleep at all. I also had really rough pregnancies due to toxemia (not related to meds at all). Sometimes I think that the sleeplessness is boot camp for when the baby comes. It's amazing how little you can live on.

What is your stress level at the moment? Scale of 1 to 10? Have you tried joining a water aerobics class or walking in the evening? Sometimes exercise helps to get those good sleep vibes going.

MS

Thndrnltng, I will certainly make use of your offer to ask questions as needed – thank you!

I talked with my GO yesterday and he advised me to stay on the medication as prescribed by the psychiatrist. He said Zoloft only have a very small risk and that he agrees with psychiatrist that it will be better for me to go back on meds (considering my previous history of depression, anxiety etc.)

I’m not totally convinced that this is the best course of action because I still think that lack of sleep is my underlying cause of symptoms, but I’ve decided to trust the judgment of both the doctors and do as they say. If I think back, my mood fluctuations and feelings of mild stress/anxiety started just before the sleeplessness first occurred, so I do think that returning symptoms after I’ve went of the meds is a contributing factor. The GO booked me off for the rest of this week and the whole of next week to get some rest. If there isn’t a great improvement with the sleep within the next week I will ask the GO to book me off for another week and/or discuss the possibility with my line-mangers to work only half day until the institution close in December.

I also phoned the psychiatrist yesterday and told him that the temporary sleeping pill he prescribed (Normison 20 mg) wasn’t really helpful during the past few nights. He explained that sleeplessness is a very common temporary side effect of Zoloft during the first 1 or 2 weeks of use and that I must give it some time. Although I couldn’t sleep during the day at home yesterday, I did have a lot of rest by just laying down and it helped a lot.

Thndrnltng, do you think the temporary sleeping pill the doctor gave me (Normison 20 mg) is okay and safe for pregnancy? The psychiatrist told me it is when I asked him, but I just want you opinion as well.

Do you know the products Imovane (Zopiclone) and Aterax (Hydroxyzine)? The GO prescribed them to me during two different occasions to help with sleep (before I visited the psychiatrist). The Aterax (considered to be safe during pregnancy and often prescribed during pregnancy) just helped to calm me down but didn’t really help with sleep (I still woke up often during the night and felt very drowsy and tired the next day). The Imovane did help me to sleep, but since the GO said I must not use it more than 2x a week and only if really necessary, I only used it 2 times since it is a “category C risk” medication for pregnancy and I’m very careful to take anything that might be a risk. What is your knowledge about the use of Imovane during pregnancy? I looked up on the Internet and it seems that Ambien and Imovane belong to a similar class of sleeping medication? In the meantime I have also tried "natural" things like milk with vanilla and honey before bedtime, Chamomile tea when I woke up at night and can't sleep etc., but it only help to a small extend.

The last question I have for you: What is your experience as a nurse on a normal/vaginal delivery with the first child after the age of 35? I’m 35 now and will be 36 years next year March. The baby will be born during January next year. Do you think I might have a good chance of having a successful “normal” delivery in spite of my age or are there some risks involved for women who have their first delivery at this age?

In our country a woman have a choice between normal delivery and C-section and that’s why I’m asking.Even if the doctor indicates that normal delivery will be possible, a woman can still choose to have a C-section if she has a medical aid or is financially able to pay for the operation. It’s only in the Government hospitals in our country (where people are financially disabled and dependent on free medical care from the Government) that a C-section will be done only if there are serious complications with normal delivery.

I would prefer to have a normal delivery if possible because that’s “natural” and the way God intended it to be. But if it might be a risk and will be best for me and baby to have a C-section, I will do so. My doctor said he can only make a final judgment about this from 36 weeks.

Dealan-de/Kimmy,

Yes, usually I do some exercise, but after the sleeplessness had worsened during the past 3 weeks, I have only done a very limited amount of exercise because of the tiredness. But now that I will be home the rest of this week and next week, I will do some exercise during the day. I do know exercise is great for sleep and to improve mood. I have an exercise video with strengthening and stretching exercises that can also be used by pregnant woman. I usually do it in the mornings, but I will switch to evenings and see if it helps.

I have tried the Chamomile and it does help me to relax if I feel tensed (it doesn’t help me to get back to sleep though!) . In our country there is also a great tea – Rooibos with Chamomile – and it tastes very good with honey and milk.

Thanks for the hint about the massage – my H is very lazy when it comes to massages, but I will show your post to motivate him somewhat!

Kimmy, also see my post to T&L above please.

Thanks for your care and concern, it means much to me!

Tucktummy,

Other than my problem with the sleep, I can’t complain about any other problems so far in my pregnancy. I haven’t yet experience any serious physical uncomfortable symptoms like back pain, swelling, heartburn etc. Even the nausea I experienced during the first 3 months were mild and did not prevent me from following a healthy diet. I try to eat as healthy as I can and I make sure to take all my vitamin supplements every day. I try to avoid “bad” things like caffeine, refined sugar and carbohydrates to the minimum. I still allow myself to eat some chocolate though (I can't do without it!) but not too late in the day since that can cause problems with sleep too. My weight gain has also been moderate so far (within the “healthy” measures for pregnancy). I must say, if it wasn’t for the problems I currently have with the sleep etc., it would otherwise be a “dream” pregnancy.

MogiSola, for the past few days I feel very tensed/stressed about the tiredness and my inability to sleep and I’m also worried about the impact my internal stress might have on the baby. So in that regard (the internal stress) I would give myself 7 out of 10. For the past few days I also find it very difficult to relax and have a constant tense feeling in my body (especially around my stomach). I must remind myself every now and then to breathe deeply and relax. Other than that I don’t have any other stress in my life and are very happy.

So far I’ve only done some exercises at home, but not for the past 3 weeks (see my post to Kimmy). There is not a water aerobics class in my area but me and my H can certainly find the time to do some walking in the evening!

I am glad that you decided to stay on your meds. I took myself off once (when I thought I would just "get better") and it took about three months for my body to slowly slip back into its old habits. I have obsessive thought patterns (not hand-washing or light-switching).

The symptoms returned slowly...the anxiety, the inability to "let go" of a thought, the anxiousness...by the third month I was a wreck. I then called my doc and she read me the riot act and told me to get back on my meds. I now think of them as insulin for a diabetic. I need them to balance my psyche. It's not mental. It's physical. And I never want to go back to that feeling pre-meds again.

You'll make it. It's amazing how much our bodies endure through pregnancy. And our babies turn out just the way God intended them. If you can, enjoy it...challenges and all.

MS

^Bump for Thndrnltng^

Thndrnltng, I responded to you yesterday and also have some questions for you. I bump this thread just for in case you’ve missed my post between all my replies to the other ladies.

No, Suzet, I didn't miss it, and I'm sorry it's taking me so long. Yesterday I was doing intensive work with the home-schooled grandchild being Troll of the Day (there are 2 of them, and they take turns). I hope I don't need to say who won, in the end! . And once I took him across the pond to his mom, those bad daughters, Neak and Neaksis, fed me supper and then coerced me into staying and working on a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle until late. Neaksis was parked behind me, and wouldn't leave until she'd finished putting the lions together! :RollieEyes: I'm going to get ready for church but I'll be back this evening and will give your questions my full attention before I go to bed. In the meantime, my best advice for the day? Take a nap!

tl

Suzet - I had both of my sons later in life - the first at 36 and the second at 39 and they both came out fine, with a natural childbirth.

You should do just fine.

I had to look up your drugs--different names in different countries, as it turns out...except for the Imovane, which I'd never heard to before and isn't really commonly used in the US that I'm aware of. It, like Ambien is a non-benzodiazepine. Normison (Temazepam, or Restoril around here) is a benzodiazepine, and will show up on a routine urine drug test, should you have to take one. I don't know why you would, but if you do, it will.

All of these drugs are not recommended for pregnancy--not so much because they're known to cause harm, but more because there just haven't been enough studies to make a judgment. In the first trimester, the risk would be fetal malformation. That's not a problem for you right now, so that warning wouldn't apply. In the later part of pregnancy, especially taken regularly and in larger doses, there is a risk that the baby will have central nervous system depression (flaccid, sleepy, poor feeder, etc.) This would wear off, but wouldn't be a very happy start. That's why the doctor tells you to take it infrequently, so that it doesn't build up in the baby's system, and anything like that you take now will be long gone by the time the baby is due to be born. Atarax (Hydroxizine) is OK--too bad it didn't work well for you. Benadryl (Diphenhydramine) is OK also, but it's not as strong as the prescription drugs, which don't seem to be working that well either! :MrEEk: This is why being off work is such a good idea for you--you can be tired on your own schedule without any pressure!

As far as having a natural childbirth vs. cesarean? I think that depends less on your age and more on the size of your pelvis compared with the size of the baby. I have had 4 vaginal births, and 3 abdominal surgeries. I'd take the vaginal births, painwise, any day of the week and twice on Sundays...and that was back in the day when Believer was also having babies and all they gave you was a bullet to chew on. No, that's not true. I got Demerol with Neak. Lousy drug. Hated it passionately and it didn't help with the pain, either, so the next 3 were done natural. Nowadays, we have (cue heavenly music) epidurals so suffering is not mandatory. But even without an epidural, labor is a limited number of hours, and then it's over. A surgery has up to 8 wks. of recovery time, and you'll have an 8-inch slice across your abdomen, that (in my experience) DOES NOT FEEL GOOD!

Pregnancy, labor, and delivery have their risks at any age. 36 doesn't put you in a high-risk category, in and of itself. You can get some idea (but not a definite indicator) by your mother and sisters (if you have any) and their birth experiences. If everybody had C-sections because the babies wouldn't fit, then there's a good chance that small pelvic structures run in the family. If everybody just goes into labor and spits 'em out, then your chance of doing the same is reasonably good. It's those unpredictable variables that keep anybody from being able to say exactly, ahead of time, just how it's going to work out. That's what made L&D so interesting to me was its fascinating combination of "sameness" and variety.

tl

Dear thndrnltng,

Thanks very much for answering all my questions! It’s reassuring to know that older age for a first born child doesn’t really play a role in delivery. Thanks to you too Believer!

I started experiencing other side-effects from the Zoloft as well the past weekend e.g. nauseous and my appetite disappeared. I stopped taking the Zoloft as a result. IMO there is no point and it doesn’t make sense to use an Anti-Dep that have insomnia as a side-effect for me right now (all SSRI’s might have this as side-effect initially) while improvement in quality of sleep is the main thing I need right now. I have an appointment with my GO tomorrow to discuss the way forward and also more time-off from work (probably half day until we close-off in December). The few days I’m off at home this week has already done me a lot of good since I can rest whenever I feel like it! I don’t feel stressed/anxious anymore. Actually I feel very calm & relaxed and succeeded in taking 2 decent naps today where I could actually SLEEP for a while. It felt so good! I also try to stay away from any sleeping pill right now because I know it is best to not use during pregnancy and it doesn’t work well for me anyway. If I really feel the need to take one, I will take the Imovane since it seems the best choice and similar to Ambien. I tried to find out about Benadryl (or other “natural” sleeping aids safe for pregnancy in my country) but unfortunately Benadryl (or a similar natural sleeping aid safe for pregnancy) are not sold here. After all it seems my real solution at this stage is proper rest and relaxation and not necessarily medication. I've also given this some serious prayer, asked God for His help and I feel at rest and at peace.

Everything is going well and my sleep has drastically improved during the past week (without any medication or sleeping pills) ! I've also visited my GO last week and he recommended (with a medical letter) that I only work half day for the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy. My line-managers were very understanding and they approved the recommendation. So when I do feel tired during the day now, I can take a rest in the afternoon at home or just relax.

Since the sleep has naturally improved during the past week and a half, my mood had also stabilized and I don’t feel stressed or anxious anymore. A while back I’ve spoken to a nurse at my church and she informed me that the severe insomnia and occasional anxiety and depressive episodes I’ve experienced during the past few months, were most probably “withdrawal effects” from stop taking the Anti-Dep earlier this year. She said sometimes it can take 2 – 4 months to start experiencing “withdrawal effects” from stopping the medication, but the good news is that the withdrawal effects will eventually pass too (which seems has already start to happen in my case – thank goodness! ).

During my visit to the GO last week he also did a 4D sonar of the baby’s face and it was so adorable to see! His weight was also 2,46 pound (1.1 kg) already.

I'm so pleased for you!

Yesterday was my son's b-day so I was thinking about L&D all day...

I hope come back to tell us your wonderful birth story!

I don't know that being older has nothing to do with the course of your labor. It's reasonable to assume that at 19 most women are more limber and supple than they're going to be in their mid-30s. However, I wasn't all that limber at 19, personally, being much more into reading and sewing, etc. than any kind of athletic (read, "sweaty") endeavors. I just mean that being older doesn't automatically doom you to a bad experience, any more than being younger guarantees you a day at the park, labor-wise.

Let's be Frank--I know, I know, I'm really Susan, but I'm going to be Frank anyway. There are a FEW women (hateful, hateful creatures--they really deserve to be beaten and then ostracized) who basically have no pain during labor. They have a hard time understanding why everybody else fusses so much. Don't count on being one of them. :RollieEyes: There are a FEW women, having first babies, who cruise through their labors in 2-4 hours. They come back to Lamaze class and tell everybody how easy it was, giving hope to all the other first-time mamas that they'll do the same. Let me tell you, there's only one of those per class. You're probably not going to be THAT one, either. (I wasn't in MY class, that's for doggone sure!) There are women who present themselves in labor and delivery at the top of their lungs, swearing, screaming, flailing, and sometimes biting. They're generally 1-2cm and dilated and unfortunate is the nurse whose turn it is for "next admit." You are unlikely to be at that extreme, either. I sincerely hope, for everybody's sake! :MrEEk:

Between those extremes lies the experience of most women having babies: a limited (8-12 hrs. for a first baby is normal, but mine was 24 and that was not abnormal) time of definitely painful sensations. Some women find the pushing stage less painful. I was one of those, but not everybody is. I was just glad to finally be able to DO something. I don't know how it is where you are. Here, some doctors will let their patients have epidurals as soon as they start to have pain, and there is research that supports the idea that early epidurals do not increase the risk of a C-section. Other doctors make the women wait till 4-5cm. You might want to know going in what your doctor's philosophy is on this, just so you have some idea of what to expect.

My point is this. Ignore everybody's horror stories. Maybe it's not the custom where YOU live, but around here pregnant women are regaled for MONTHS with every bad labor experience their friends and families have ever heard in their lives. It's no wonder they come into L&D just a wee tad apprehensive! Yes, it's going to hurt. No, it doesn't last forever. And you're a girl--you can handle it!

May they rot in h-e-double-hockey-sticks.

Ptooey! (spitting on the ground and making evil eye gesture)

I found holding the shower massage on my underbelly VERY soothing during labor...Spent 14 out of my 16 hours of the first labor in the shower.

I had epis for the last 2 - once you have that, you can't get up to shower (of course)...

Remember that your birth story is YOURS. It will be special no matter what!

- Kimmy, who loves birth stories

Kimmy-- You must've had dishpan body by the time you finally emerged from the soothing stream! I hope you at least turned off the water when it was time for your nurse to check your progress...:MrEEk:

tl

(sheepishly toeing the ground)

Should I have?

They said it was okay.

And dishpan body! LOL.

No. But I went through about a metric ton of lotion.

"So, Kimmy, what was your labor nurse like?"

"Um, well, moist-ish, actually..."

I repeat:

Baby's coming and wife is torn!

bestest thread title EVER

See what happens when you get a bunch of yummy mummys together, Suze?

We all degrade to silliness.

It's one of the perks.

Thndrnltng, my H and I started to attend pre-natal classes (information sessions on L&D, breastfeeding, in the womb stimulation for the baby etc.) a while ago. The classes are offered at the hospital where I will have my delivery. Last week’s session was about pain relief options during labor and we were informed that epidurals are given by them when a woman is in full labor and 4-5 cm dilated.

I understand what you are saying… I’ve spoken to some women about their experiences and most of them were actually very positive about their experiences and basically said the same thing than you e.g. that yes, it is very painful, but doesn’t last forever - that the pain are forgotten as soon as you experience the joy of holding the new little one in your arms!

... speaking of babies
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

The LaMaze classes really helped me. Knowing that labor is normal and all the stages made it much easier.

And I will give kuddos to the nurses. They were THERE for me. What did the doc do, except catch the football?

I personally found all that stupid breathing MUCH easier to do when I wasn't having any actual pain! :RollieEyes: However, lots of people swear by it. I would've sworn AT it, but at that time I didn't know any really bad words yet!


Well, in THAT case I hope you weren't like Kimmy, and in the shower...:MrEEk:

tl

Oh no, not in the shower. I had mine 27 years ago. We didn't have all these new-fangled things.

Okay, I can't resist, my labor stories - first one, at 37, I started labor, called hubby at work, he came home and we stopped and got 2 salads on the way to the hospital. I was comfortable and we were joking through the whole labor. My son was in the transverse position, and after pushing like forever, they were setting up a C-section, when I doc (I thought is was the janitor) came in, and manually flipped the baby around and out he came - 8 lbs. 8 oz.

They thought my second was in distress, I forget why, heartbeat too fast, or too slow. So they induced labor, and the doc was dressed in a suit. He was going out to dinner with his wife. The machine that was supposed to measure contractions was not working. Doc said he would be back after dinner, when I mentioned to the nurse (Thank God for nurses) that I felt like a 20 pound bowling ball was coming out my backside.

The doc said that was impossible, that I wasn't having contractions, and the nurse said, let's head for the delivery room. Baby boy two was born in the hall on the way, a half hour after they induced labor. Doc was still in his suit, and hubby was still putting on scrubs for the event.

Anyway, with both of my sons, I stayed up all night just looking at them, feeling that I was the only woman on earth that had ever given birth, and just so grateful for these little miracles.

I'm so excited for Suzet.

Rebekah was like that. The doc was still scrubbing and donning the splatter suit and told the nurse I couldn't have possibly dialated that fast.

B pert near slid out by herself (I had the epi and didn't feel a thing - unlike my first and last).

Good golly she was perfect! Still is.

Perfectly rotten is still a degree of perfection, right?

And T&L!

My nurses have a very special and DRY spot in heaven.

I may have issues with a doc or two, but every single one of my nurses were the most wonderful and kind people I've ever met.

I think it's a pre-requisite for the job.

Dear friends, an update:

Last week we visited the GO for my 31 weeks scan and everything is still going well with the baby’s development. His weight was 1.74 kg (3.8 pounds) and the GO said especially the head development is very good. I’m trying to follow a healthy diet the best I can and I’m taking my pregnancy supplements and omega 3 & 6 oils every day, so I’m sure that’s helping!

I still experience problems with sleeplessness at night and as a result still feel extremely tired some days, but I’m only working half day at this stage and can use the afternoons off to rest at home or to take a nap. A while ago I’ve started to play some classical music for my baby and I find it very relaxing and effective before I go to sleep at night.

Three weeks ago my H and I started to prepare the nursing room with new curtains and a color with a “theme” (the color “sky blue” with “Winnie the Pooh and friends” as the theme!). We also started to buy all the “bigger”/more expensive stuff we are going to need for the baby and nursing room (compactum/chest of drawers; combo stroller and car seat etc.) We received the baby cot from my parents in law – it’s the same cot my H slept in when he was a baby and his parents kept it all these years! I also had my first baby shower last week. It was special and such a surprise – it does one’s heart good to know so many people care and are excited with us.

God Bless,
Suzet

--> Biggest Smile possible ! <---

Excellent news!

Be sure that the baby's bed is made so that s/he can not get its head stuck in the siderails. In the U.S., there are safety restrictions on how far apart the vertical members of those sides can be.

I was just wondering yesterday how things were going, and here is an update. Glad to hear you and baby are doing well. Unless you're tall, you'll probably blossom like a rose (sounds better than "blow up like a balloon! ) over the next couple of months. Goodness knows, I did. I was told by a friend that I looked like an egg on toothpicks, since my legs were very slender at that time...quite unlike the body they were hauling around!

tl

Hi thndrnltng, you made me smile with your remarks!

I’m of medium length (170 cm/5.5 feet) and during the past 7 months I have picked up approximately (11.5 kg/25 pounds). I had a Body Mass Index of only 21 before I became pregnant, so my legs and lower part of my body were very slender at the time but not anymore! My pregnant belly doesn’t look or feel too big at this stage, but we’ll see how things progress over the next 8 weeks that are left! As far as I understand, the baby’s weight at the end of 7 months will approximately double over the last 2 months of pregnancy. Is that correct? If that’s true, I think our baby will weight approximately 3.4 kg (7.5 pounds) at full term (which I think will be a very good and average weight).

Average weight gain for the actual baby during the last couple months of pregnancy is 1/2# per wk. That doesn't sound like much on a person, but on a baby even a few ounces can make a noticeable difference in the appearance, as can an extra 1/2 to 1" of length.

Have fun.

tl

Hi T & L, I’m back with some questions for you if you don’t mind!

I went for another sonar on Friday. At that point I was 32 weeks & 6 days pregnant and the baby’s weight was 2.05 kg/4.5 pounds. With the previous scan(exactly 2 weeks ago), the baby’s weight was 1.74 kg/3.8 pounds. That means the baby has only picked up 310g/0.7 pound during the past 2 weeks. Is that okay? The doctor was satisfied with the weight but I’ve read on the Internet that the weight gain from the 7th month should be approximately half pound a week (for the baby). I’ve also noticed that I haven’t picked up any weight or have grown bigger around my belly during the past 3 weeks. I do eat healthy and often though and take all my prenatal supplements…maybe this “weight still stand” is just a “phase” and will pick up again in the weeks to come?

Also, every time I go to the doctor he said the baby’s head growth is fast and he has a relatively big head. During Friday’s sonar, the baby’s head measured more than 34 weeks and the body only slightly above 31 weeks. That means the body growth is almost 2 weeks behind and the head growth more than 1 week ahead according to the amount of weeks I’m pregnant now. Can that be normal too and do you think I should be concerned about this? The doctor did not show any signs of concerns and just said he is satisfied with the baby’s growth.

Further, when the doctor did the heart scan, the baby’s heart beat was very low initially (only 109 beats per minute), but after the doctor could get the baby to move around a bit, the heart beat raised to normal (153 beats a minute). The doctor said it’s normal for the heart rate to fluctuate like this and the heart beat was probably low because I was lying on my back during the sonar. What do you think of this? Naturally I have a lower than normal heart beat (56 – 60 beats per minute) so I was wondering if that can also cause the baby’s heart beat to be lower than the average? My blood pressure also tends to be lower than normal, but not so low that it can be dangerous to me or the baby.

My doctor is going on vacation soon and my next appointment is only on 5 January 2009 (3 weeks).

Further everything is going well with me! My sleep has improved drastically during the past week and as a result I don’t feel tired or need “naps” during the day anymore. There is only a few weeks left now and my H and I are very busy to shop for the last few things we are going to need for the baby!

Suzette--I'll get back to you later today. I'm on my way out to hunt for an owl. Which is probably not an excuse you get too often. I hit one last night on the way home, but could tell by the blow that I'd more likely broken its wing rather than killed it. So I turned around and went back. When the headlights approached it hopped off the road into the brush, one wing dragging. Neaksis found it, but it hopped under a fence, and in the dark and the rain, it wasn't possible to catch it. If we can see it now that it's daylight, we can call the raptor rescue people in the county to come and retrieve it safely. I'm chicken about getting my fingers bitten off!

So I'll be back, but just reading your questions over, I don't see anything immediately alarming. The only thing that makes me wonder is the low heart rate, but babies' heart rates bounce all over the place and we don't even know it. Is it possible for you to get a non-stress test, where they put you on the monitor for awhile and watch the pattern? If the heart rate is dropping consistently it means more than a single, or rare drop--which could mean that the baby temporarily lay on, squeezed, or even sucked on, its cord. Count fetal movements per hour several times today, and we'll chat later.

tl

T&L, I’ve never heard about owl hunting before…sounds interesting. Hope you will have better luck next time!

I’ve received your reply yesterday when it was already late in the afternoon in my country, so that’s why I’m only get back to you now. You’ll see on the forum it will appear that I’m posting this post in the middle of the night, when it’s actually almost 8:30 in the morning in my country (I live in South Africa).

I’m sure that will be possible. I just have to find out at the hospital where I’m going to have my delivery. The doctor said if at any point I feel a drastic decrease of movements, as a safety procedure I must go to the hospital for a "fetal heart scan".

Yesterday morning until the early afternoon the baby was very quiet and I only felt light movements now and then (I could only feel a few light/slow movements within an hour) but yesterday after I had my lunch the baby was moving vigorously for about 15 minutes! In the late evening again (after I had dinner) the baby was moving vigorously again and I could definitely count 10 movements within 10 minutes. Later the evening when baby was quieter, it took about 35 minutes to count 10 movements. This morning after I’ve woke up, the baby had moved around a lot. At some stage this morning I could definitely feel 10 movements within approximately 10/15 minutes. In general, I would say there are at least 2 times a day where baby is moving around vigorously or moderately for about 10 – 30 minutes but the rest of the time baby is quiet and only make light/slow movements. Many times I only feel a very few movements within an hour. Sometimes I’m not aware of any movements for 1 – 3 hours, but usually those are the times when I’m busy and on my feet and probably I just can’t feel all the movements when I’m busy or walking around (and probably baby is also rocked to sleep during those times). I’ve also become aware of the baby hiccupping during the past few days (light rhythmic movements for a few minutes). This happen about 1 – 3 times a day.

I think it must've gotten eaten by a coyote, since nobody could find it this morning, and one of my sons (who is a university biology professor) gave me the predator-becomes-prey scenario when I called to ask about it. Thanks a lot. Like I didn't feel guilty enough for smacking it already! :MrEEk:

For fetal movements, you need to know what your baby's pattern is--the "norm". Otherwise you have no real way of telling deviations from it. Showing up at the hospital complaining of decreased fetal movement is an EXCELLENT way to get yourself a non-stress test. Diminished movement for part of a day, or no movement for an hour, is good enough for me. We HATE it when women come in complaining of no fetal movement "for the last 2 days." It's not fun to be the nurse who has to put the monitor on THAT one, and start hunting for a heartbeat. If you know what the baby ordinarily does, then you'll be able to tell when it changes. Pay attention to that.

As far as the growth measurements...3rd trimester ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate, occasionally being close to reality, but sometimes being off by a couple of pounds. A measuring error of +/- 2wks. is considered to fall within an acceptable range of high-tech guesswork. So if your OB was satisfied with the measurements (and YOU are satisfied with the OB in general), I think I'd accept the measurements without worrying too much. Babies "breathe" amniotic fluid in utero, to develop the lungs, and a breath in or a breath out at the moment the picture is "frozen" to take the measurements can make a noticeable difference in the assumed dates. Same thing with abdominal movement--what baby was doing at the moment could have made a difference. Let the measurements slide, and keep track of fetal movements. Go to the hospital if you have a question. Here in the US, you can show up as many times as you choose to be checked out. Behind your back, the nurses might call you a "frequent flier" but if you feel like you need to be examined, who cares what they think?

Glad you're resting better and feeling better.

tl

T& L, thanks for your feedback! What you’ve said is reassuring - I did not know that 3rd trimester ultrasounds can be so inaccurate and that a measuring error of +/- 2wks. is considered to fall within an acceptable range…obviously that’s why my GO wasn’t concerned at all. I’m generally very satisfied with my GO. I just think as a first time mom and dad who waited for this baby se long, we are overly concerned about anything that might indicate a problem. I will continue to pay attention to the fetal movements.

Thanks again for your help and willingness to answer my questions – I appreciate it!

Hi T&L, after my conversation with you, I went to the hospital on Wednesday where I’m going to have my delivery and found out that I can indeed be checked out at any time, so while I was there, I asked them to do a non-stress test. The baby’s heart rate was monitored for 25 minutes and according to the nurse who did the test, everything seems in order and healthy. The baby’s heart rate was very low some of the times (as low as 102 at one point), but it never stayed there for more than a few seconds before it would raise again and stayed within the “normal range” of between 120 – 160 for most of the time.

That is good to hear. My youngest was induced because of a slow heart rate, but turned out fine. He is 23 and still has a slower heart rate.

Glad you are feeling better. And don't feel bad about being a concerned mom.

Some babies have naturally-low heart rates. As Believer knows, it gives the medical people nervous twitches and fits, but doesn't mean that anything is necessarily wrong. Next time you're monitored. Watch for the baseline--that's what is normally between 120-160. The baseline is where the heart rate usually is. It will speed up above the baseline temporarily (acceleration) or drop below the baseline temporarily (deceleration), and then return to its normal rate. The baseline is fairly straight, but not smooth. It will have a jagged appearance to it; this is variability and variability is good. Drops in the heart rate of less than 10 seconds duration aren't much considered to have significance. There are different kinds of accels and decels (which is what you'll hear the nurse and doctor talk about). Some are good, some are bad, some are neutral. But if your baseline is in the normal range, and the strip shows frequent accels going up at least 15 beats above the baseline and lasting at least l5 seconds, they'll give you a pass on the non-stress test (NST).

I'm very glad we didn't have monitoring when I was pregnant with any of my 4 kids. I would've been a nervous wreck. You have my sincere sympathy.

tl

Update:

I visited my GO for a 38 weeks scan/check-up on Monday. He compared the size of my pelvis with the size of the baby and advised me to have a C-section (my pelvis appears to be too small in comparison with the baby’s head). It was a disappointment but I realize to have our baby safely delivered and have all risk factors removed is the most important. The C-section will be done on 39 weeks and is therefore scheduled for next week Monday, 26 January at 7 a.m. I will receive a spinal and will be awake during the whole process and see the birth of our baby. My husband will be present too. We are very excited and can’t wait to finally “meet” our baby (!) , but at the same time I’m nervous and a bit scared of the operation and the recovery afterwards... I wonder if I will be able to properly care for our baby after something that is still classified as "major abdominal surgery", but I guess these feelings & concerns are normal. Luckily I’m with good GO/specialist who has much experience in all types of deliveries (normal and C- sections). I have also only heard good comments/feedback about him from previous patients (also patients who had their C-sections done by him), so I know everything will go well. My H has also arranged for a period off work for 2,5 weeks and that will be of great help! I will be in hospital for approximately 4 days but as soon as I’m out of the hospital and settled at home, I will send an update again.

Blessing to all,
Suzet

You'll do fine!

What a great day to be born! And garnet will be the baby's birthstone...garnets are beautiful!

Have you ever had abdominal surgery of any kind before? If you have, then you can have a good idea of what to expect. Your husband's help will be invaluable to you, since lifting the baby will be hard at first. If you are going to breastfeed, it will be less painful to position the baby on pillows off to each side, rather than lay him across your abdomen...at least until the incision quits hurting. It will be interesting to find out how big he is, since those late scans aren't any guarantee, as we've discussed before. I've seen women come in, thinking they were going to have a 9-10 pounder because of their last ultrasound, and end up with one between 7-8#. And I've seen babies turn out way bigger than what mama had been led to expect. Could go either way, but at least you don't have long to wait to find out!

Good luck to you all.

tl

T & L, no, I’ve never had any type of abdominal surgery so I don’t have any idea what to expect. According to the latest ultrasound the baby isn’t very big at this stage (approximately 7 pounds on 38 weeks), but the size of the head in comparison to my pelvis appears to be the problem according to the GO. I’m interested too to see what his actual size and weight will be! I’m a woman with a small bone structure, but since I’ve heard of many small sized ladies who gave birth to relatively big babies, I never thought it would be a potential problem in my situation. Oh well…

It’s very important for me to breastfeed, so I hope I will not have any problems in that area… I will be at home with the baby for 5 and a half months and I want to try and breastfeed as long as possible even after I start working again. Do you know if a C-section might have an influence on a mother’s initial attempt to breastfeed since it is not a “natural” delivery? In the hospital where I will have my delivery the baby is not brought to the mother straight away after birth to start breastfeeding. The baby is first put in an incubator until he/she reaches the right temperature (which can take up to 6 hours) and is brought to the mother afterwards. I have read bringing the baby to the mother for breastfeeding as soon as possible after birth is a major factor to establish success in this area, so I’m not totally content with the procedure that will be followed in the hospital directly after birth.

T & L, I have another question for you about breastfeeding. What is the most important food to avoid while breastfeeding? I’ve read that garlic, onions, beans and obviously drinks containing alcohol and caffeine must be avoided (and obviously food/drinks containing too much sugar and “empty” snacks like chocolate etc), but I have heard from some ladies that foods containing “sour” like tomatoes, oranges, bananas and pineapple must also be avoided. Is that true? I love all those fruits/vegetables and would not like to exclude any healthy food from my diet that’s not necessary.

I've got an appt. 30+ miles away in about an hr. so I need to get ready. I'll get back to you.

tl

Suzette - My friend just had a C-section for twins on Saturday and I spent the day at the hospital with her. One had her head up and the other had the head down. So they planned a C-section once the babies were 5 pounds. She was 36 weeks pregnant.

Turned out the babies weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces, and 7 pounds 1 ounce.

Anyway, she couldn't eat or drink anything the night before and went in at 7:30AM. They had do do a sonogram and were completely full, so it seemed like it took forever. She had the babies at 11:30.

Her husband was able to go with her and they gave her a shot that numbed everything, and had a sheet up, so neither of them looked. She had been frightened, but said it was fine and she didn't feel anything.

She briefly saw one baby, but not the 2nd - I don't know why. I was able to watch the nurses do their thing in the nursery. Dad was with the babies, and mom in the recovery room for about 2 hours. I got to visit with her there and she had no pain, and was still numb. I think they gave her morphine - at any rate, she only had crushed ice the rest of the day.

She nursed in the recovery room, and had no problem.

I think that different women/babies have different foods that disagree with them.

I really wanted to breastfeed my first child but it did not go well. We were totally miserable for the first week - until her doctor and I decided a happy bottlefed baby was better than a starving nursing one....it was a nipple issue, apparently. With the second child, I knew I was going to have to have surgery when he was 3 months old and I knew that I was back on antibiotics before he was 24 hours old - due to a respiratory infection - so he never got a shot at breastfeeding.

Go for it, though. Ask the doctor to make arrangements for you to nurse immediately, if you wish. Your doctor can advocate for you.

Suzet,

I had c-sections with both of my DD's. I stunk at birthing but we were breastfeeding champs. With the OD, I was able to nurse shortly after the delivery. With YD, it was at least 12 hours (due to my blood loss) and the nursery had given her a bottle.

They both were exclusively breast fed, no formula.

I do remember it being painful/awkward trying to get positioned due to the surgery. Just stay in bed with the wee one for a few days.

The only thing I had to avoid eating was the spicy mustard sauce you put on egg rolls. That was the only thing that seemed to bother either baby.

Good Luck on your delivery!

Suzet, thanks for the update. Just to share, I had a natural (ouch) delivery with my firstborn. After she was born and placed on my tummy, she turned and searched out my breast immediately. She made breastfeeding a very easy and natural choice.

My twins were a c-section at 37 wks. (I insisted on a general against the hospital's advice - me=big chicken). Possibly because of the anaesthetic, they were much sleepier and not really interested in feeding. In fact one of the babies ended up with a feeding tube because she had no sucking reflex at all for days. It was very hard work to breastfeed them and I only succeeded because I'd done it before. Had they been my first babies, I'm sure I'd have given up.

One thing that nobody seems to tell you is that, at the beginning, breastfeeding can be toe-curlingly painful when the baby latches on but it soon eases. Breastfeeding has to be done in a resting position so it is nature's way of telling you to sit back and relax. It can also take ages to complete a successful feed cos some babies get so cozy (who wouldn't) they just keep dropping off to sleep!

Suzet, the very best of luck for Monday. Take care. TT

If it's important to you, I encourage you to ask questions, make sure you understand and agree with the decision to do a C-section. A nurse friend had hinted to me that she'd heard of doctors scheduling unnecessary C-sections because it's more convenient for them (plus they get paid more). I don't mean to worry you, I'm sure everything will be fine, just don't be afraid to ask questions and stick to what you think is best.

In general (I've heard) C-sections are supposed to be safest for the baby, and vag. delivery is usually safest for the mom (which is also good for baby) so it's a toss-up.

Hi Suzet,

There is no evidence to prove that onions, garlic, spicy foods or anything are secreted into breastmilk or cause problems.

The only food that has been scientifically shown to have any impact on nursing babies is cows milk and only in cases of milk protein allergy in the baby.

That said, some mothers feel their babies are unsettled after they eat certain foods but its incredibly individual. You do not need to start out by avoiding anything, even the foods you couldn't eat when pregnant are now ok (although obviously anything like shellfish where you run a risk of getting food poisoning yourself wouldn't be much fun when caring for a tiny baby so sensible caution is advised.)

Its only alcohol and certain drugs really that you need to be careful of.

Do you have a LLL group in your area? They are usually a fantastic source of information and support for breastfeeding mothers. I'm a peer supporter in England (although now living in France confusingly) which means I've done basic training in supporting women in the normal course of breastfeeding. I can point you in the direction of the most recent information and support on the web if you need it.

As far as getting breastfeeding off to a good start it is true that those first hours can make a real difference. I wouldn't be happy to be seperated from the baby for up to 6 hours either.

Best of luck for the coming birth and meeting your darling baby for the first time. I have two little girls and thats the most special moment and makes me want to do it all again (my youngest is only 9 months old though lol).

Clare
xxx

Thanks for the responses and words of “good luck”, I know everything will go well on Monday! Hubby and I are very excited by now and can’t wait to finally meet our long awaited baby. God has been so good to us and we are so blessed… It’s now only 3 days before our baby will be born. It’s going to be a wonderful experience to see our own child…our flesh and blood united in this child…for the first time. We never though this dream would become real to us after more than 12 years of marriage. So many people has also prayed for this pregnancy to be healthy and I must say, other than the problems I experienced with the severe insomnia for many months, the pregnancy was otherwise without any problems or complications. Thanks to the people on this board who has also prayed for us.

Clare, we are living in South-Africa and I’m not aware of any LLL group in my area. I will therefore appreciate if you can send me the information. Thanks!

You're welcome. I have a friend who is south african who went to a LLL group in Cape Town I don't know if they have them in other areas but I will try to find out.

http://www.kellymom.com/ is written by a lactation consultant (a high qualification in the world of breastfeeding support) and contains a lot of information that you can be sure is accurate and up to date (unfortunately there is a lot of bad information scattered around the web like any subject).

http://www.llli.org/SouthAfrica.html contains information about LLL in south africa and has telephone numbers of Leaders (breastfeeding counsellors, who have more specific breastfeeding training than is usual for doctors or midwives but not as much as a certified lactation consultant). Leaders will run support groups but will also provide telephone help for a voluntary donation (LLL is a registered charity).

God blessed us with a boy at 7:27 am on Monday morning! His birth weight was 3.3 kg (7.425 pounds) and 48 cm (18.9 inches) long. The C-section went very well and I was released from hospital yesterday. He was shown to me immediately after birth. He was put in the incubator for 6 hours to stabilize his temperature (standard procedure in the hospital for all new born babies). During those 6 hours he was brought to me for breast feeding 3 times (also standard procedure in hospital I didn’t know of beforehand.) The first breast feeding session took place immediately after I’ve came out of the theatre (approximately 30 minutes after birth). So far I experience no problems with the breast feeding like latching problems etc. and I’m so thankful for that!

So far he is a very relaxed and “easy” baby. No colic or crying unless he is hungry or need a nappy change or when we bath him. There is just one word to describe the whole experience of seeing him for the first time and bonding with him during the past few days: AMAZING and far beyond what we’ve ever imagined… We are totally in love with him!

Congratulations, Suzet!!

Thank you Mel!

So happy the hear the news! Hope you are feeling okay.

Congratulations, Suzet!!!!

Emotionally I’m feeling wonderful, happy, calm and very relaxed believer! The first 2 days in hospital I didn’t feel very well physically because of the operation and strong pain killers, but it’s much better now and with every day that passes by I know it will get better.

Thank you!

Congratulations to mom, dad and baby boy!

I am very happy for you. Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Dear friends,

I've decided to quickly check in and send an update to those who supported me with messages and advise during my pregnancy.

Our boy was 3 months old on 26 April and he is such a bundle of joy! With the last clinic visit (12 weeks) he had a weight of 14 pounds so he is growing well.

We are very blessed so far because his development is good and he is very healthy. So far I has also been able to exclusively breastfeed.

I will return to work in July when our boy will be 5,5 months old...it's going to be very hard for me, but luckily his parents in law will be there to look after him during the day and we know they love him just as much as we do!

Suzet

What wonderful news. I am so pleased for you both and just enjoy your little baby because they grow up far too quickly.
Take care, TT

Ah, they do grow up to fast. My baby girl graduates from high school (secondary school) in a couple of weeks and will be off to college/university in August. I don't think she should be this old.

I'm so pleased for you!

Sniff his hair for me, please.

I love baby hair.

Very happy for all of you, Suzet!

Just thought I would pop in again after all these months to give an update:

Our baby is 9 months old now and a real �busy body�! He started crawling 2 weeks ago and since then he has progressed so fast, he now stand up against everything he can! Some days my husband and I still can�t believe that we have this precious little child in our life after 12 years of waiting�he is and will always be a miracle to us.

Unfortunately a few things happened during the course of the past months which were very difficult�my mother was diagnosed with colon and liver cancer. She had an operation to remove the cancer from her colon and then received 8 sessions of chemotherapy for the liver cancer. Unfortunately her �cancer blood count� is still very high and she must start with the whole procedure again from January next year. However, God is faithful and I believe with my whole heart she will be healed and recover. She is very sick and weak at the moment though�

From June I also developed severe pre-natal depression with extreme anxiety and insomnia. I didn�t respond to medication and eventually ended up in a psychiatric hospital and was off sick from work for 2 months as a result. The medication they gave me had severe side effects and I ended up physically ill and very sick�much worse than before I was hospitalized. It was a very difficult time for me (and my husband and family), but I believe everything in life happens for a reason and spiritually and religiously I have grown and learned a lot from this whole process. I�m not totally recovered yet, but at least I�m back at work and able to take care of our precious child again.

Before the pre-natal depression I also discovered that my H was involved in a serious emotional affair which at the time I thought already progressed to a physical affair. It was an extremely big shock for me and I think the main thing (together with my mother�s sickness) that triggered the depression. However, I�m totally aware of the things from my side that made my husband vulnerable to the A and we both are still committed to our M, but in the process of recovery from his A.

Blessings to everyone,
Suzet

((((((((((((Suzet)))))))))))))

Thanks Dealan-de,

One thing I have also realized after everything I've been through during the past few months is that we human beings are much stronger than we think we are when bad stuff in life happens to us...and of course, our source of strength only comes from one place...God. Without Him we are nothing.