Hey everyone! i have been with the same girl for a little over seven years and im not going to lie when i say we havent had our problems but untill recently i thought it just made our relationship stronger. Their are major trust issues here and im one to standby against the cliche that trust is the most important trait in a marriage, to me its true love! My wife used to have alchohol problems and when she was out drunk and clubbing and who knows what,a ton a guys!
i have had to endure alot of post traumatic stress with this women because i have seen the goodness in her and she has stuck by my side through hard times,really hard times.
When we first got together she came to me and kept coming to me,i wish i could go back in time to fix the problems from happening.(warning) this part hurts,well it was like love at first sight and we moved in really quick together and the sex was awsome,the pure emotion of it all was crippiling.
Well, after a month she said she was getting scared and i got kicked out,lol! i saw that when she drank she was a monster and a total different person but the night after i moved out she called me back over for a booty call which was awsome! but like
what the heck? Anyways i was trying to get her back because she did kinda break it off but i knew that love was too strong for both of us to ignore,she said she was scared because she just got out of a five year relationship that was very abuseful ,drugs,beer, cheating and extreme poverty were all apparent but alot of things bothered me about her like her many partners,situations and types of people she had been with.
she was suppose to come by my work as i was going to surprise her with a dozen roses and she never came by so i left work and went ot her house as she answered the door she was naked,twisted drunk and wrapped in a blanket and as i walked in a nightmare
unfolded.
i saw beer cans,ciggerette butts and the aftermath of a drunken
party,no guys were there and in her room was an open condom wrapper,cum on the bed and a magnum condom drapped over the toilet,WOW! i was devestated and broke my hand punching a solid glass wall! Technically we werent together but i started leaving her alone after that because i started hateing her with all my hatred. i was talkig to all her freinds and finding out who she really was and it was helping me get over her but i still tried because i loved her with all my heart and she did show the same toward me besides when she got plastered.
i dont know if her freind was trying to get with me or what but she was telling me some horrifying tales of my future wife.
a obstacle in the way was a female that moved in with her who just left her husband who she had three kids with at an early age,so she was like trying to screw everything that moved and was getting my future wife involved in the process too.
after awhile i stopped calling her and moved on with my life and i dont know how but i was fifty miles outside the city with friends and she got a hold of me,i knew right then that she wanted my back,lol! crazy huh? We talked for awhile and she said she was so sick of that lifestyle and realized it when this female came back from the bar and said i brought a guy home for you,she said what the hell? she didnt even go out that night as she said she was missing me,so i got my butt back over there for the most amazing seven hour sex session of my life and her friend walked in the house and was hearing me and her go at it for a looong time and in this time moved the hell out, JUSTICE!!!!!!! lol ,anyways in 03' we got married and i screwed up and started to ignore her massivly for monthes and i caught her just in time talking to another guy,i went pro detective on her [censored] and had his name confronted to her ears amazment when she didt come home for a few hours,when i confronted her she wept severly cause i was leaving and she confessed everything,but im 95% sure there was no intercouse but she testifies to this day that nothing happened. so by all this my problem is that the trust issues are there everyday and i have accused her over the years so many times she weeps and cries and im OCD about it, i cannot write all night about her but there is tons of love between me and this women but i guess my heart has shut her out,im paranoid about it.
im pretty damn good in the sack and im in shape and good looking but my confidence with this women is shot. We are fighting so bad right now because her vagina came up kinda loose yesterday,bad! im afarid she was with someone else,we are active in the bedroom and about five days ago had amazing sex,she had three orgasms in 30 minutes but im getting older (31)and a day later the package was not as hard as usual but there is more to this story,im in real shock of losing her and im always thinknig she is with someone else but i really think she was with someone else the last three days,but to her defense there has been times like in the past that i investigated and a womans Vagina can fluxuate but this time it felt wayyyyy
different ,she swears up and down to me in tears but maybe im going crazy? what should i do? She is jealous of me,im jealous of her,its a whacked out cycle but if it wasnt true love we would not have lasted,i have never made alot of money so she wasnt using me. i hate cliches because 75% of the time they dont come close to applying to reality ,its just a cop-out to do
something.
she has had four surgeries down on her fallopian tubes for painful cysts and then had a hysterectomy, so how much libido could she have? i can compete with a toy but i dont want another man in my bed. i just tell her i want to know the truth and i will leave quietly but i deserve to know ,if she wants sombody else leave me out of it and dont come crawling back. it would have been complicated for her to cheat because of our situation but im afraid she did!