I know I should be able to give advice at my age of 65. I have three divorces under my belt at this point and have been married for 19 years to a presently 61 year old man. You would think I would be vested by now. Bob keeps removing financial freedom from me as the years go by. My income pays for cd's at the bank and is supposed to buy a home for us when we stop traveling in a motorhome.
First he had me sign off the house when we married 19 years ago. He set up a trust for his three children. He did have my kids on the trust with a 25% amount. Then he took off my oldest son and daughter because they didn't call. Oh! we have a joint checking account. My income goes in there which is social security and disability retirement income. I have also supplied medical insurance for the both of us through my former emplorer. He doesn't like to hear about that. He has called my kids dirty names and my parents trailer trash. He says he doesn't remember doing that. Also he would rather give unwanted items to strangers than to my children. He just told a neighbor that if I wasn't with him I would be living in a piece of junk trailer. We live in a diesel motor home. Our last fight was over a stupid thing. We took a trip in our motor home to Colorado to visit my mom and brother Dale. My brother wanted to visit his son with us and Bob didn't want to go. He got really pissed about it and I said he has no reason to be angry. He got in my face and said "You want to see ANGRY?" and he called my daughter a whore and my son an idot. When I said "There's no call for this." He said I should shut up if I know what is good for me. He is redoing his trust and giving the house I signed off on 19 years ago but remodeled several years ago to his youngest son. He has been living there since we started to travel rent free. He doesn't even pay the taxes.
I should have seen the writing on the wall when he refused to go to a birthday party when his step-granddaughter had a party and we were five minutes late. Speaking of steps. He doesn't buy gifts for step-grandchildren anymore since all of our kids are divorced and he would be having to buy for future kids that his children's future wives might have.
He will stop on the highway if I give driving suggestions or am busy doing something besides looking out the front window.
He doesn't want my unsolicited help with anything. "Just hold the ladder"
When I ask what he is doing, he says, "I should have waited until you were gone to do this".
I am on the computer a lot. I admit it. If he wants to do something I can turn it off. He hates the computer but when mine dies he buys me a new one. He buys candy bars and flowers and cards. It is so confusing when he is Jeckle and Hyde.

I guess if I were turned on by him romantically, it would be different. Frankly, he eats like there's no tomorrow and has a layer of fat that he doesn't seem to see. It is exasperating to watch him gorge himself.
I do not like conflict and hate the thought of starting over a fourth time.
I may be totally expecting too much from a marriage. I put that question out there. Should I take off in the motor home in the fall with him and overlook our differences or find my own place here where we stay in the summer by my kids.

Today Bob went to the cemetary where we bought 12 plots for family members. He is making arrangements that no one may be burried there without his blood in their veins. That would exclude any of my children from a previous marriage. He is allowing spouses of his sons' to be burried there but not my children. I am surprised he is allowing me to be burried there.
I told him that if I had it to do over I wouldn't have married him knowing what I know now. So now he keeps asking me if I would marry him over again today.
Today he gets the first draft of the changes in the trust. He isn't discussing it with me. He just says I will be getting more than $5000 for each year we are married. I have put over $270,000 into our joint checking through our 19 years and supplied health insurance. I have bought two cars. I feel like I should set up my own bank account but he wouldn't stand for it. He doesn't seem to realize how it feels to be treated with less respect than his children.

Honey, get yourself to the most bloodthirsty lawyer people can recommend, and start getting all that craziness reversed. Do it today! Get your stuff back!

And when he's out of your life, and you can start thinking clearly again instead of being abused, start asking yourself why you pick men like that.

In the meantime, while you're waiting for your lawyer to get things in order, please read "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft (a man). It will change your life.