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Doesn't it boil down to the fact that we are all HUMAN and can YIELD to some sort of TEMPTATION?

If we were not human and tempted, we would not SEEK GOD.

We ALL have a WEAK SPOT, I think.

We may not be GUILTY of ADULTERY but in some way we ALL SIN and FALL SHORT...or we would be GOD.


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Perhaps things more serious to YOU though, not God...Where we place God in ours lives is VERY SERIOUS to Him...

sorry,,any God that would place words as more serious offense than harming children does not deserve the title. Thankfully, my Lord does not do that.

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Originally Posted by medc
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Are they not warnings to us about what we must guard ourselves from?

no, they are not warnings...they are commandments.

Okay.

Are they not COMMANDMENTS about what we must guard ourselves from?

Mrs. W



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Originally Posted by mimi_here
Doesn't it boil down to the fact that we are all HUMAN and can YIELD to some sort of TEMPTATION?

If we were not human and tempted, we would not SEEK GOD.

We ALL have a WEAK SPOT, I think.

We may not be GUILTY of ADULTERY but in some way we ALL SIN and FALL SHORT...or we would be GOD.

yes yes, yes. we all have weaknesses....they are just not all the same.

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Are they not COMMANDMENTS about what we must guard ourselves from?

NO, they are commandments about what we cannot do..not guard ourselves from.

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Originally Posted by medc
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Perhaps things more serious to YOU though, not God...Where we place God in ours lives is VERY SERIOUS to Him...

sorry,,any God that would place words as more serious offense than harming children does not deserve the title. Thankfully, my Lord does not do that.

Well MEDC, I believe that God knows that if we are that serious about Him...So serious that we aren't willing to take His name in vain, then other things are likely to fall into place...Being that serious about God means that you are keeping your eyes on Him...You are focused where you should be, and are better able to keep His commandments...

That is how I see it...

Mrs. W


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yes yes, yes. we all have weaknesses....they are just not all the same.

So, if you are saying that YOURS would not be ADULTERY but something else, then I would be in agreement with you.

I personally don't think that I could commit ADULTERY either because of my life history.

I didn't think a second about "ASSISTED MURDER" recommended by one of my GM's physicians in the name of GOD...NEVER would have done it...NEVER...

But, I just might be "tempted" to MURDER someone that either harmed or tried to harm MY CHILDREN...


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yes, yes, yes.

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Originally Posted by medc
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Are they not COMMANDMENTS about what we must guard ourselves from?

NO, they are commandments about what we cannot do..not guard ourselves from.

There are MANY things that we cannot do...Rape and molestation are a couple of examples that you gave...Certainly God was able to forsee those things happening, yes? Why weren't those included?

Mrs. W


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Why weren't those included?

asked, answered.

As I said, there are a lot of very peculiar things in Scripture.

I also do not think the ten commandments carry any more weight than other parts of Scripture...so, I am not sure why you are singling them out.

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Originally Posted by medc
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Why weren't those included?

asked, answered.

As I said, there are a lot of very peculiar things in Scripture.

I also do not think the ten commandments carry any more weight than other parts of Scripture...so, I am not sure why you are singling them out.

Well I believe they are singled out...They are called "the commandments" after all...I think that is significant...I believe that God did that because as our creator He knew that those things would be potential downfalls for all of us...I think He didn't include things like rape and molestation because He knew that all of us were not susceptible to those...

Mrs. W


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I think that anything that God says should be given equal weight...but that's just me. As for your beliefs, I am not trying to change how you feel. I just happen to disagree with your perspective and know more than a few people who are not now and never would be tempted by the sin of adultery...other sins, yep...but NOT that one.

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I think He didn't include things like rape and molestation because He knew that all of us were not susceptible to those...

Considering the staggering number of people that have been raped or sexually assaulted..I would suggest using your logic, that God made a mistake by not including these things. To me, the Lord made very clear his feelings about those that injured others...and He didn't need to label his thoughts as commandments in these matters.

Just my opinion.

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Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by mimi_here
I don't think my H's affair was about POWER AND CONTROL over ME, Charlotte.

I don't think it was about ME at all.

I see it as being about HIM..HIS CHARACTER FLAWS...

POOR IMPULSE CONTROL...SENSE OF MORALITY...MAINLY, CHARACTER WEAKNESS...

Hi mimi,

When I think about when Gray was still here and for the months I was just "waiting for the wind to change," not knowing what to do about the A before God led me to MB...

I feel that they were controlling me. I made it worse on myself because of the keylogger so I knew what they were saying about me and those awful, awful things, lies, ugly creature they made me into (Melody has read some of that)...yeah. I was controlled. But that part was MY fault. For looking at it.

BUT when he would say things like: "I'll feel bad if you don't trust me," and junk like that, yeah, that was direct control. But thats just how I feel about it. Emotional rape. Mental rape.


Interesting....

When I read, Mimi's post, I was in total agreement.

Then I read Char's response, and I totally agree with that as well....in fact, it something I struggle with daily.

The fact of the matter is.....my WS was VERY SELFISH...IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHAT HE WANTED....but I do THINK when he started it it wasn't about power or control over me...not at all


Another fact, once I found out, he very much tried to CONTROL AND HAVE POWER OVER ME....(and foolishly, it worked...). All in order to keep his AFFAIR continueing AND to make sure I WASN'T GOING ANYWHERE..... sick

And yet, I do believe he knew what kind of turmoil he was putting me through (not fully though...heck, he still doesn't get that....)....

not2fun

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It was a progression, no. God started with ONE commandment, don't eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

We blew it!

One rule in the garden, and we blew it.

So later, there were 10 rules.

Then came the rest of "The Law"

If you think there were only 10 rules, learn about the other over 600 rules in Jewish law. Things such as having sex with your children (and I think the children of others) is included.

If you've only gotten to the 10 Commandments, read all of Leviticus and Deuteronomy for a more complete picture.

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Originally Posted by medc
I think that anything that God says should be given equal weight...but that's just me. As for your beliefs, I am not trying to change how you feel. I just happen to disagree with your perspective and know more than a few people who are not now and never would be tempted by the sin of adultery...other sins, yep...but NOT that one.

Of course it all should be given equal weight MEDC...Not saying that it shouldn't...Adultery is certainly mentioned more times than just in the commandments...It's in all four gospels...Clearly, it's a big problem for humans...

I understand your position very well MEDC, I used to share it in fact...

Mrs. W

P.S. Anyway, outta here for a bit...I think Mr. W and I are going boating...Have a great day! smile


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Now, for the record.....I am stating


I WILL NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS HAVE AN AFFAIR...

I am not putting myself on a pedestal, or am I thinking I am better than anyone else. I just think my boundaries are shored up and I stand by them.

I, also, WILL NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS RAPE SOMEONE, MOLEST A CHILD, NOR MURDER ANYONE SELFISHLY.

That being said, after reading SAA, I can UNDERSTAND why WS had his affair. I do BELIEVE we are all wired to fall in love. Does that excuse it?? No, but it does make it understandable.


That being said, does anyone remember where DR. Harley HIMSELF says that he will not have an affair.

not2fun


ps....and I am not even TOUCHING the religious aspects of this discussion.....


pss...MEDC, I don't always agree with you, but on this I do. Though I will have to say, your comment on the childbirth issue was childish was in itself "childish". If you go back to the original post on this, the childbirth analogy was very fitting. BUT being a male who has NOT given birth, you cannot relate to that.......

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I just happen to disagree with your perspective and know more than a few people who are not now and never would be tempted by the sin of adultery...other sins, yep...but NOT that one.

OK, seriously, medc...if you are human, you are suceptable to it. I know I will not change your mind, though. Besides, everyone is entitled to their wrong opinion! grin

Just because I realize there is a difference in the TYPE of offense doesn't mean you are completely immune. Comparing child molestation and rape to infidelity (as far as whether you are human and suceptable to it) is a skewed comparison. Dr. Harley compares the PAIN of rape or death of a spouse/child to the PAIN of infidelity...not the suceptability to the OFFENSE itself.

I have been told by a couple of people that have gone to Dr. Harley's seminars that there have been people who took the same stance as you-- "I WOULD NEVER COMMIT ADULTERY!" (this was a BS who was there to repair her M). He looked her straight in the eye and said "Then you are even MORE suceptable than most!"

Why do you think that is??

Last edited by Resonance; 06/21/08 02:51 PM.

Peace,
LaLa

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Why do you think that is??

Because that is what he believes....he doesn't know it though. It is his opinion. I have said it before here that I do not think the good doctor is always right.

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Just because I realize there is a difference in the TYPE of offense doesn't mean you are completely immune. Comparing child molestation and rape to infidelity (as far as whether you are human and suceptable to it) is a skewed comparison. Dr. Harley compares the PAIN of rape or death of a spouse/child to the PAIN of infidelity...not the suceptability to the OFFENSE itself.

I don't agree. If a act causes a horrible amount of pain...comparable to death or rape...then I would have to be a scoundrel of monumental proportions to do that to another person. See, I cannot claim ignorance about the damage an affair could do. So, IMHO...if I were to commit adultery and my spouse killed herself...I would be guilty of murder (even though the law would not hold me accountable---sadly!).

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if you are human, you are suceptable to it.

That is your opinion and I think it is stated so strongly on this site so that a BS can more readily identify with the actions of a WS. Sorry, I just don't buy it.

So, you too are entitled to your wrong opinion...and honestly it comes across as a bit all knowing. You do not think my thoughts or know my heart...I do.

I have had countless number of opportunities to cheat...never have and never will.(even as early as high school..I went out on a date with a girl that I thought was free...her words..she asked...when I found out that night she was still seeing a guy..I ended the date immediately. Did the same thing after my divorce...communicated with a very pretty, very nice girl..eventually met for lunch where I found out she was living with a guy "until he found a place"...ended that immediately and left her with the bill!..I have always felt this way and always will). Sorry to disappoint those that see it differently.

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Believe it or not, I can really relate to you on this one, MEDC.

My father was a SERIAL ADULTERER. There was DRAMA about his AFFAIRS throughout my childhood..DRAMA with a BIG D....

I made a MAJOR DECISION back then that I would never do it...

And now.. MY M..I think I told you about her and her marriage...

I think that there are exceptions...

I would think that Dr. Harley would agree with that...

There are no ABSOLUTES...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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