I just wanted to thank everybody for reminding me to stay strong especially for my kids. I keep praying that I'm doing the right thing for them as they are so very angry - especially the 14 year old. WH had put in a request through his lawyer to see the kids today but when he showed up, they out and out refused to go with him. had got into an argument with the 14 year old on phone last night when the 14 year old said he did not want to go with him because he did not like him he didn't say it meanly but WH ended up telling son to kiss his @**. I have also enrolled the kids in counselling but that doesn't start for a couple of weeks. I'm just taking everything one day at a time and to keep praying to do the right thing. There are days that are hard and I feel sorry for myself and the kids but the reality is I can't change what happened and I have to move on with my life no matter what is in store.

((((SL)))))

You are doing the right thing. Your WH will someday(hopefully) understand why his kids don't like him. Duh...it doesn't take a genius. But this board has seen sooo many WS say the same thing..."you're turning the kids against me". Amazing how utterly stupid they can be.

I say good for your kids...they have boundaries.

This will be a Father's Day he won't soon forget.

You stay strong for your kids. Be there for them.

I am so sorry for your situation. And i know it's no consolation, but this time will eventually pass and you will find happiness again.

Thank You for the vote of confidence. I try not to say anything bad about WH to the kids. I've told them he loves them and he left me and will always be their father but they just get angry and say no he left us too and it's not your fault it's his. I've got great kids and only want whats best for them. I think that they just need time to heal it's not even been 3 months yet.

Right now I'm at that angry stage. I think that this whole situation as with everyone that has to go through this is totally unfair. I'm having to bend over backwards to try and make the kids go see their father even though they don't want to. I am having to enroll them in counseling and my Wh has to be allowed to go as well. Also we have had no money for over 2 months the mortgage is going into 3 months past due but I have to make the effort not him I've even had to go to parenting class due to the laws in our state. I've not called him or texted him nothing but yet he can continue to call me at work and at home to harass me about the kids because he has the right to ask about seeing his kids and apparently I have none. He still thinks that they will get over this eventually, his words. I am very very angry right now because I feel like I'm being backed into a corner. Does anybody else have these feelings? I'm still praying and today youngest and I are getting ready to go to church.

smilesleigh,
I've just sort of caught up with this thread and you have my sympathies.

Couple of things if I could:

Why is your Lawyer not insisting on CS and your H continuing to maintain the monthly mortgage payment? This has to be accomplished ASAP. It is still your H's responsibility to make those payments!! I can tell you from past experience, that when the mortgage hits 3 mos. without a payment, the bank will automatically initiate foreclosure procedings. It's automatic at the three month mark.

Can you at least borrow money from family to make at least one payment?
That will set the process back at least another 30 days. Where is your lawyer in all of this. Maybe he needs to make the mortgage payment out of his own pocket to prottect you and the kids.

As far as the kids are concerned, they are old enough to make their own decisions regarding your WH. Personally to me, it sounds as if they were brought up well, and have the mentality to know right from wrong. I wouldn't do anything to discourage this type of thinking. They will need this for the rest of their life. In the meantime, your rocket scientist WH, can't understand why the kids want nothing to do with him. I certainly wouldn't want a mental defect teaching my C the difference between right and wrong, so good for YOU!

I do wish you and your c all the best. Prayers going up for you all.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Don't make the kids see their father. Just stay out of it. If he wants to see his kids, let him reach out to them. Just ignore him. Don't force the kids to see him. It's like making them condone his actions.

Well I've got the paperwork for the mortgage being 3 months behind and I was going to take that to lawyers tomorrow along with e-mails and texts I have saying that he would pay mortgage until D. I am not forcing the kids to do anything I've told them its their decision and I would be alright with whatever they choose. WH wants me to force them to go and thinks the counseling should help them see HE'S doing nothing wrong. In this state I can't do anything until we have a hearing which is July 28th. I just don't understand how people go through this every day. A lady at my work was in HR last week asking for an LOA because her husband of 34 years left her for another woman I told her I'm going through a similar situation and could at least listen to her. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

I've taught my kids right from wrong and i'm trying to ignore him and do whats right for the kids. What's weird is that not so long ago we were teaching the kids right from wrong now its just me.

Its been a little while since i've last posted. It has been almost 4 months now and I'm still at a loss. I do have more better days then i had at the beginning. He still is with the OW, although they are constantly breaking up. He told me he just wants to be friends with me, but i've told him i can't do that it's just too painful. Is that wrong? My inheritance came through and I was able to catch up the mortgage and get another
car because my other one keeps breaking down. I keep praying every day but sometimes it's very hard because i don't know if it's Gods will. I'm still very confused.

So sorry to hear about the loss of your father. This must be very hard for you.

But glad you are taking your husband to court for child support. They often forget about their family obligations.

As soon as you get child support, you need to write a letter to their HR and let them know that the affair is still continuing and ask what they plan to do about it. That may end the affair. Apparently they have spun the story to HR or they wouldn't still be working together.

For your marriage to recover, they must stop working together.

The HR department is aware that they are still seeing each other their response was to move her to a different area. Also she has been out on workmens comp for the last almost 2 months for 3 different issues. I have a hearing on the 28th of July. I'm very nervous because he was talking about going for half custody(not sure of technical term) on the advice of his lawyer so he wouldn't have to pay that much in CS. Thank you for your sympathy it was hard on all of us here.

I would still write to HR and give them the whole story. Since she is a supervisor, they may be able to fire her. That would be the ideal situation. You don't know what has been said at work. They may have spun the whole affair issue. Most companies will not tolerate supervisors having affairs.

At this point, your efforts need to be going toward breaking up the affair by exposing it.

Also get a plan going instead of just reacting to hubby. Affairs almost always end, and then he will probably want to come home.

Actually he is the supervisor and the affair has been exposed to his work and his family and friends and the OWs family knows as well but they are ok with the situation. Since the last time he has talked to me about being friends he has not called(I'm pretty sure he won't be doing that). So right now I'm just concentrating on the kids(my daughter has moved back in )

YOU need to write a letter to the HR department and let them know the affair is continuing, hubby is not paying your mortgage, and wants a divorce. Ask them what they plan to do.

i have actually talked to his boss and their stance is that this is personal business and if it doesn't affect his work.....then oh well. He just told oldest daughter that him and OW went and looked at a house tonite this after they have "broken" up 5 times in last week with the last time being yesterday. I think that he is messed up and that i'm stupid for taking this long to see that this is not going in the direction i want despite my efforts.