i didnt treat her right
she cheated
i found out
nothing i did helped

she filed for divorce and said she isnt backing out
i am a broken man
my family finally talked me into leaving
once i packed my stuff, on the way back, the cops called
they said she was there at the police station afraid of me

i cant call her or go there (by warning only, and threat of restraining order)

later that night she called and said she wanted to talk about seeing kid.
next morning she said she wouldnt call anymore, she might now be around

everyone says dont call, or go there alone.

i am very sad and hurt, all i do is cry, how do i go on

Well, my situation was almost the same as your's.

You MUST expose the affair to the other man's wife.

You must not act upset whatsoever and act like it was the best ever to happen and absolutely cut off any financial support until ordered to do different.

Clean out the bank accounts now of a minimum of half or better.

Me, I'd get it ALL. She ain't filed until you are served.

Time to get your game face on and get ready for the fight of your life or you can just lay there like a slug and take the whoopin. The choice is your's.

well all i found was emails and phone records, the phone calls were to someone at her job, but ive never been there?

she admitted that she needed a friend, and admitted to the emails only.

the problem is that its over, deep down i dont want it to be, but i guess that doesnt matter, im very deeply hurt.

im supposed to go home and be with my family.

i realize all the things that ive done wrong

she seems to have no feelings

she called me, but i have to go to my lawyer first tonight, im going to call her from there.

what else can i do for all of this, please tell me, i dont know. i need help, im very hurt all i do is cry like a baby about everything, im a train wreck.

Empty ALL bank accounts and liquidate ALL assets.

You can't fund her affair.

Don't even discuss divorce until you are served. Once you are served, it will be to late to protect yourself for the coming firestorm.

ABSOLUTELY believe NOTHING of what she might say. NOTHING.

She is going to be sickly sweet and try to give you hope so she can get the financial advantage then toss you aside.

Pariah is giving you excellent advice. Get the liquid assets. You'll need cash. Don't spend it all because you'll have to give half of it back. If there's a lot of money at stake, put half into an ESCROW account so that you can show the courts you acted in good faith and were only trying to prevent her from cleaning you out. That's one thing I learned as a bank teller "First one to the bank wins."

Second, give yourself permission to be a trainwreck. That's normal. Tell your boss or HR at work what's going on so that they cut you some slack. You may also want to tell one person at work the bare minimum. "Wife asked me to leave" or something so that you won't have to explain to everyone over and over again.

Also, meet with your pastor or someone else who is skilled in handling grief. Call on friends and family members, but be sure to rotate them so that they don't get overwhelmed.

I would also use someone else as a go between you and your wife. You do not need to talk to her at all right now. She can send you emails and you can email her back. I HATE when women rush out and file restraining orders for no reason. It is manipulative, and very suspect when she then calls you and wants to talk. Unless your child need emergency medical care, or an intervention, I see no reason you need to have verbal or physical contact. Emails will protect you from having her misconstrue your words and actions, or downright lie.

Why would she act so vilely? Well, she may be going for full custody of the children. Full custody would also increase the amount of child support you would pay.

You know, you don't have to agree to the divorce. And right now you need some time to think. I personally wouldn't want to be married to someone who filed a restraining order on me without justification. That to me would probably be worse than infidelity because it was a lie about who I am, rather than a lie about who he is.

Now, all the things you've done wrong include physical abuse, you need to say so. I don't think any of us would tell a victim of abuse to stay in that marriage, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't try to help you change so that you could be a good marriage partner.