Shattered,<BR>Haven't seen any of your posts lately!<BR>How are you doing ?

RWD - Thanks for asking buddy. I haven't posted for awhile because I basically given up all hope of my W returning. I know everyone says that "it ain't over till it's over" and that there have been 11th hour stories of reconciliations, but I've reached the point where I don't think I even want her back even if she were to return.<P>SO MUCH emotional damage has been wrought...I'm concerned that I may have difficulty in a fresh relationship let alone trying to reestablish trust with my W.<P>My W is still determined to see the divorce through. Her atty sent my atty a letter requesting all sorts of financial documents (401(k) statements, mortgage statements, investment accts, etc.) She has been asked several times whether she really wants to go through with the divorce - each time it's an emphatic yes.<P>So, RWD, I'm not going to fight it any more, either legally or emotionally. As a result, I don't want to waste any of your collective time and effort walking me through the Harley process because I know that it's fruitless. My W is happy as a lark - I'm just someone who is holding onto her belongings. Your collective counsel is better served on those individuals who truly stand a chance at success.<P>I still wholeheartedly believe in Harley's principles - I've witnessed their effectiveness on this forum time after time (YOU for example!!!)<P>All of the people here are wonderful, I'm proud to call all of you my cyber-friends. I will continue to pray for you and follow all of your stories as I care deeply for each of you. I will post from time to time when I feel I can add something to a thread. In the highly unlikely even that something does change in my situation, I'll be sure to post.<P>Please don't interpret this as a defeatist attitude. I rather think it's a realistic attitude. I haven't given up, but at the same time I cannot let this tragedy occupy my emotional and physical well-being as it has for the past four months.<P>You are kind to inquire about my welfare. I will be watching for your threads in particular RWD since our stories are very similar. My situations failure will be balanced by your situations success. Good luck to you my friend and God bless.<P>J'espere que tout la monde ici la meillure chance dans leur marriages. Au revoir et a bientot.<P>

Shattered,<BR>I am so sorry pal. I know you hurt and I just wanted to let you know that I feel for you. Be strong and do things for yourself.<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Shattered

Shattered

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Shattered<BR>Posted multiple times... don't know how THAT happened.<BR>Anyway, haven't posted much these past couple of weeks, have my hands full, but have been lurking. And I'm so sorry that you're where you are and have all the pain you feel. Please know that I'm thinking of you alot and hope you find strength in the fact that others here (including myself) have you in our thoughts and prayers. <BR>

Shattered,<P>I'm so sorry <P>I do feel for you... so, so much!!!<P>Keep us posted, and you sure did your best to put this thing back together. Your W is in so deep that it scares me...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Shattered,<BR>I know how you feel. I too went thru these steps. I believe it will help you in the event your w doesn't return. Instead of hanging on, it is okay and good to prepare for the worst because if it happens you'll be prepared. That is what I did. I was toatally prepared to be divorced.<P>Then om dumped her and now I have a chance. <BR>But what it has done is left me a mess as I don't know which way to turn. I can't keep preparing for the divorce as that would be a lovebuster. I'm trying to win her back but it is hard with the kids and looking for things to do that would please her. If I let her make arrangments then that was part of what got me in trouble the first time. <P>I'm so afraid I do or say something wrong that I drive her away, but then if I'm quiet she reads other things into it.<P>I still don't trust her. Today we were at a farm and some man I didn't know said hello. I immediately wondered who it was. It turned out it was some Dr she works with occaisonally at the hospital. I was never that insecure before.<P>I'm really starting to hate weekends, they are way too stressful.