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Well, she had at least an emotional affair. I don't know - the late nights sound suspicious, and especially when you offered to go get her and she declined.

You are not married to her and she has basically flunked the interview for wife material. I know you still care for her, but I would move very cautiously. Be certain she doesn't get pregnant. You have had an early warning, which is much more than most men here get. Take your time. You don't want to be posting here in 4 years, with a house and mortgage and a couple of kids, and your wife out drunk till 4:00AM.

Your feelings are very normal based on what has happened. I also felt very conflicted because the actions of my WW were so far from what I thought of her that I didn't understand how I could both love her and hate her at the same time. I understand that you want to believe her but have a hard time doing so. That's because she was dishonest, so you really have no basis for believing her.

The difference in your situation, of course, is that you are not married. So being strictly technical, she did not have an affair. She cheated.

It is more common for this to happen when a couple lives together unmarried. Read the articles on this site about Living Together Before Marriage. Put very simply, it's a bad idea and it most often leads to divorce, abuse, infidelity, etc.

Most here would probably advise you not to continue this relationship mainly because if she cheated before you were married, it's a huge red flag. Some here were cheated on before marriage, 'moved past it' and ended up getting cheated on years later. I think they regret that they overlooked it the first time.

But whether or not you decide to continue this relationship, you need to not live with her. It will not help. Separating from her will give you the space you need to clear your mind (over time) and make good decisions.

Yup. I'm one of those "some", and I definitely regret overlooking it.

I found this article thanks
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5059_qa.html