Cleaning off her windows every time and clearing a path for the dogs so when she got up she didn't have to worry about that.
This was something I told him many times that I did not need and did not see as an act of service or appreciation.
Calling her every morning before she left for work to say good morning and calling her everyday on lunch to say hello, see how her day was going and to ask what she wanted for dinner.
How my day was going really did not matter. When he would ask I would tell him but then it would always shift to his day or something that was going on at his work. Or how he was feeling. I felt as if I was only asked because he felt he had to and not really to listen to me.
Most every day I did the cooking.
I feel this was 50/50 as we both did cooking. Then with me doing all the cleaning up.
I met her one time for a lunch time quickie and everyone was envious of her.
What is left out here is that there were lots of other times when he was off work that I asked him to come take me to lunch and he would not because he could not pull himself away from the computer. Again it was done when he wanted to do it and not when it would have meant the most to me.
I watched her favorite TV shows, sometimes when I would rather be watching something else.
My favorite tv shows were only watched with me in the beginning of our relationship. As soon as the lifestyle came along this no longer happened. A prime example would be that thursday night when survivor was on was supposed to be our night but he would miss half or most of it because of being on the computer. Another example would be me asking him to get off the computer to watch a movie with me but would be told if we arent going to watch football then he had to watch his players on the computer for his fantasy football. So the lifestyle was not the only thing I played second fiddle to. It was also the fantasy football.
She asked me to dance with her more and I did.
I also heard more times then not that his legs hurt so he would want to leave the dance floor but then as soon as someone else asked him to dance he had no problem with it and even danced several songs with them.
I would make breakfast on the weekends.
On kid weekends he did cook breakfast. Again we had to wait tell he was ready to cook it because he was on the computer and was not hungery yet.
RC - Recreational Companionship...yes, doing recreational activities together. Dates...experiencing new together in recreational ways...being playmates and teammates...the act of doing this expresses and reminds we are allies, we are in this together. I wondered how much of this expression was lost in the lifestyle? How this bonding is already available to everyone, without adding others into your marriage, and when we don't do it, we cut off healthy experiences through unhealthy ones?
This is something that was only done when he wanted to after the lifestyle came along. If I would make a suggestion for something I wanted to do and he did not then he would withhold tell I gave in. Then 6 months later would do what I wanted to do and expect me to show appreciation for it. And then when we were out as a couple it was constant looking at other people and pointing out how hot someone was. This even happened on our anniversary.
He would also give other people in the lifestyle the affection and flirting I should have been getting and was not. When I would ask about it I was told it was because I was not sexy enough or did this wrong so I would try to improve on those things with it never being good enough.
