Oh, and why don't you find some excuse to call your W and chat? See how she reacts to you.

WW knows I know of his flight on the 3rd. When I sent the e-mail to OM, I told him I knew he was going down there "soon".

If they are still in cahoots, I'm sure they've discussed what I know, and what I don't know.

Neither one of them knows you are sitting right next to him, correct?

No,

Neither one is aware of that fact...

I don't believe I told WW I was on the same plane either, just that I was coming down the same day.

Although, she knows I saw the e-mail that had his flight info...

Doubt he'd change airlines, changing to an earlier flight would cost him twice as much, would that really be worth it, maybe, but I doubt it. Spending $600 when you're 26 years old to maybe get some tail from a married woman 1500 miles away hardly seems like a good use of money to me. He's better off getting a quality call girl for that kind of money.

Do you have two plans of action...one if OM shows at the airport, and one if he doesn't?

I'd say there's about a 95% chance he'll be there.

You don't want to tip your hand too soon. If OM is going to visit your W, you want him to be on that flight. You don't want him to reschedule.

Never underestimate the stupidity of someone who's thinking with their d_ck.

Besides, he or his parents might have money to burn. Who knows?

tfkeel - at no point, at no time, have I ever said that God was "going to "restore" and "make the marriage better" in every case".

You are putting words into my mouth that I have not spoken in order to "make some point."

The Proverbs 5 passage that you cited is a warning TO MEN to not abandon their wife for an adulteress.

There are many passages in the Bible that are relevant if you'd like to have a biblical discussion about forgiveness and reconciliation, of divorce and remaining married, of sin and restoration of relationships....of the purpose of Jesus's death and resurrection.

If you'd like such a discsussion we could do so on another thread so as to not distract this thread from tying to help BH.





Correct. What God HAS said is that He hates ALL divorce, but He allows divorce for the Faithful Spouse in very limited circumstances BECAUSE God knows how devastating marital unfaithfulness is and that WE are "not God." God is also a "God of Peace," and that includes a Faithful Spouse who just cannot embrace ALL of the promises he/she makes when he/she says, "I forgive you."

The "reason" is very simple. In the "old days," there was no need for divorce or recovery. The sentence for adultery was death, and the marriage was ended by death. But God is the God of the living, and we live under the "new covenant" that is in Christ, and as Christ said to the "accusers" and to the "accused woman," no one is without sin and while HE (Jesus) was without sin, neither did He condemn her. "Go, and leave your life of sin" means to submit one's life "from this day forward" TO God and His commands to us.





I don't doubt that, tf. Recovery, is NOT "easy" nor is it "simple." It is NOT "just meet the EN's and all will be fine."

It is a SHOT at recovery, but whether or not the marriage actually reaches "recovered" is up to BOTH the husband and the wife, not just one of them. And that includes dealing with bitterness and anger, doubt and guilt, etc.

So let me ask you a simple practical question if I may; do you go to a coroner for advice on how to treat the illness and remain alive or might it make more sense to see an Infectious Disease Specialist before the illness passes the "point of no return"? The coroner can certainly tell you WHY something caused death, but he isn't "interested" in the "case" until
AFTER death has occurred.

Perhaps it makes a little more sense to seek advice from people who have successfully made it through all the hard times to "recovered," and for Christians in particular, to seek advice from fellow believers who HAVE "felt all that they are feeling" and who "trusted and obeyed God" regardless of their very real human feelings.

The "treatment plan" for the serious infection of infidelity is LONG and requires many steps, including endurance of days when things seem to be getting worse or not progressing as fast as we'd like them to.

God bless.

You might want to change the title of this thread...if she came here, it'd be very easy for her to find this thread.

Altered just a bit...

OM,

As much as I'd like to believe you, I know you are lying. I know that my wife asked you to stop texting her and calling her for fear of tangible proof of any impropriety. Obviously you knew of me, and our marriage.

Truth of the matter is, I want nothing more to do w/ you and as long as you stay out of my marriage, this will be my last contact with you.

BH

bh:

I would, like totally, drop the "as much as I'd like 2 believe you" crap.

You don't believe him and you don't want 2 be giving him the benefit of the doubt. You do want him 2 get lost and stay lost. And you do want his parents 2 know you know he lied 2 you, and that you still want him 2 get lost and stay lost.

-ol' 2long

Good point 2long

WW just sent me this message:


Should I hold off on replying to OM and parents before talking to her?

Why are you even considering talking to that POS OM?

Forget him. He's nobody.

Talk to your wife, see what she has to say.

Fly there and see if she is lying about OM.

You're over thinking this whole thing.

Probably true...

That's why I became an engineer I'm sure... However, I believe it's what has given me insight to this whole thing. If I can't see her side of the story (and there is a side to her part of the story), we'll never be able to heal anything.

I will talk to her, and see what she has to say.

That doesn't sound good!! Brace yourself for a negative conversation. Still let her know you will coming there on the 3RD.

Guess it depends what side of the fence you're sitting on.

I would talk 2 your W, for sure. But I would also reply 2 the OM (and not just because he asked you not 2! ). The purpose of replying 2 him and his parents is 2 send a strong message that you know he's lying and 2 do what little you can 2 make it difficult for him 2 cheat on someone else's H ever again.

Let's hope your W wants 2 talk about what she needs 2 do 2 recover her marriage. But be prepared for the opposite. She might try 2 appease you by giving you false hope so you won't fly down and she can go play with OM anyway. After all, she's protected her secrecy by changing her passwords.

In my view, by the end of the phone call, if you don't have either an invite from her 2 come down for the weekend and get recovery started, or a request from her 2 come up for the weekend 2 do the same, you have your "answer" - that she's not willing 2 do whatever it takes 2 save her marriage, and likely intends 2 continue with her wayward mindset. And you should just let her have it.

-ol' 2long

I agree, totally...

Me too.

IMO, she's going to try to do some damage control and wants to try to prevent you from doing more that might ruin her weekend.

Send the e-mails.

No, send it now.

Brace yourself, because the fury of the storm once you expose is intense and last for a week or two.

Hmmmm... No "sorry" or "I love you".

My FWH decided we had to "talk" too, at a restaraunt (no making a scene)... kinda like "talking" over the telephone (easy to disconnect). This was when he told me he was "in love" with OW and the sooner I realized it, the better off we'd be. I'd be very wary.

I agree with the others, let that POSOM KNOW that you KNOW that he's lying and you WON'T go away so easily if he persists.