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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 31
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 31 |
Is there any point in contesting divorce? My wife wants a divorce so she will be free to see her OM without feeling guilty. She really thinks that they are going to have a long relationship together. I don't want a divorce. I want her to pull her head out of her [censored] and see all that she is giving up, all that she is trowing away. I want the marriage to work.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
There is great benefit to contesting it [countersue on the grounds of adultery is one way] and doing everything in your power to drag it out. You should NEVER COOPERATE and never agree to mediation.
Want to know why? Making divorce HARD AS HALE will give the WS second thoughts. They expect you to make everything easy and be "amicable." Cooperating with divorce is to contribute to your own demise.
BUT, the most important reason is that affairs are TEMPORARY and divorce is permament. There is a 95% chance your WS's affair will FLOP. When that happens, you will still be married and may choose to recover your marriage.
Dr. Harley also recommends to never agree to mediation. It is because mediation does not take into account the fogged out mind of the wayward. It is like negotiating with a terrorist.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
I contested my husband's petition for a divorce. I fought long and hard and ended up receiving spousal support and insurance for 3 or more years longer. It worked for me.
When I couldn't take the stress anymore, though, I filed inasmuch as we had been separated for 3.5 years at the time and it was taking a toll on me physically.
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
It depends on the state how effective contesting the divorce will be. If you don't agree, most states have a waiting period--some are as long as two years or more. Two years gives your wife plenty of time to see how good she could have it with you. That gives you time for Plan A and, if need be, Plan B, and it gives the affair time to fizzle out.
Edited to add:
In PA you can request to the court to order marrige counseling for you both.
Also, keep in mind that any visitation you set up now will likely stay in place if there is a divorce. So, make sure you get as much time with your kids as possible.
Last edited by Greengables; 07/01/08 05:58 AM.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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