How can I contact you?

My yahoo address is: smfoycdsh@yahoo.com

Charlotte

Why are you doing this to yourself?

You can't stop her from seeing OM. She has to want to do that.

IMO, you should make sure you've done full exposure including the information about OM going there this weekend. Expose to everyone possible including roomate.

Then change your flight to AZ, pack for some fun and leave your cell phone home.

If you have to know, get the PI. Pay for him out of the money you planned to use paying off her credit card.

May want to delete the geographic references. You don't need any more hassles.

God's Blessings,

Say

WW just invited me to stay at her house... "since I have nowhere else to go". So long as I can keep my cool. This should not be a problem.

Roommate is having guests over also since there will be no camping.

Wow. Quick turn of events.

You should wow the roommate with your great husbandly skills!

Breakfast will be in order at least one morning I"m sure...

I'd be afraid of a set-up.

Like as in Roommates "friends" are the OM?

That'd be pretty messed up...

So, she's still talking 2 OM and still pixxed off at you, and yet she's just invited you 2 stay at the house with her?

Number of possibilities:

1. OM recommends she work on her marriage - right!
2. WW has had a genuine change of heart - right!
3. WW and roommate will be nowhere 2 be found when you arrive.

I'd be prepared for the third possibility. You might even put all your cards on the table right now, tell her you know she's still in contact with OM and that you don't believe she'll really be there when you come down, and see:

1. If she can convince you that she'll be there for you and is willing 2 discuss your fu2re - then go ahead and fly down, if you are convinced she's sincere. (I have serious doubts).

2. Cancel your flight and go 2 plan B, figuring that it will morph in2 plan D.

-ol' 2long

I read this as:

You should wow the roommate with your great husbanDRY skills, and thought, "NO! Never right after just meeting!"



May I suggest watching the bats come out by the Congress St. bridge, then watching the fireworks over Town Lake?

Very romantical, but with lots of people around. It was one of my most favorite things to do on the 4th in Austin.

Okay BH. I sent the info. I'm going to contact him as well to help things along. I'm sorry for the delay. Yahoo mail was acting up and really sluggish.

Charlotte

If it's a trap...

So what.

If she trumps up crap or whatever...BH75 will have his answer THIS WEEKEND.

The VERY worse case scenario is really not that bad. Jail smail. Charges will get dropped and you'll come back to Michigan knowing what you have to do.

Dr. Harley's email response was a generalization. Every BH here believed his situation was dire...because it WAS. There is no telling where the exceptions lay and I commend BH75 for sticking to it and attempting to fully access his situation prior to making a conclusion. BH75 wife has always been the more religious of the two of them (but he's changing that from what I understand) so I retain hope that these two CAN work out things...possibly. She's not an animal. She's a human that failing miserably right now but she remains his wife TODAY. Through God ALL things are possible.

One condition/suggestion BH75 has should likely include in his discussion this weekend about what recovery will look like is that she needs individual counseling relating to her sexual molestation as a child. There are some great posts here somewhere (if the search function worked) discussing in detail what goes on in the heads of adult women survivors of childhood sexual abuse. If someone has a link that would be great. I think Smart Cookie had a thread on the subject that I promised BH75 I'd look up but hadn't had the time. Her sexual hangup's need addressing for this marriage to ever recover into a marriage of extraordinary care.

As far as strategy...you could reveal you KNOW they are communicating still but don't say texting...just communicating and insinuate that someone on OM's side of things is feeding you information. That will make OM nervous when things are repeated back to him.

Also...check the seating assignments on the airplane...did OM's seat open up yet???

Mr. Wondering

p.s.- I, too, don't suspect an ultimatum will initially work the way you want. It's not wrong to lay it out there but expect a power struggle and indecision. The question comes down to IF you get the affair to end immediately then your marriage has a shot. You likely won't get the commitment to TRY for a few weeks but the ultimatum that she end the affair may be your best shot to get the chance to fix this soon. If she won't end it...you pull the divorce trigger soomer than later. I don't want you anticipating or imagining a scenario wherein she is jumping into your arms and recommitting THIS WEEKEND. Ending the affair...STEP ONE. Recovery is a process.

Hey BH,

I got in touch with PI, gave him the rundown and your name. He said he was on another line with someone out of state. It wasn't you, was it?

Anyway he's got the heads-up for your call if that wasn't you already.

Charlotte

This is risky, IMO. There's no telling who or what OM has been telling who. It would be really easy for BH to get busted this was and lose the line he has with that new cell phone.

Charlotte

Yeah, and go out to eat Tex-Mex at Chuy's. My sister LOVES Chuy's. Absolutely nuts for them.

All I'm saying, Mr. W, is that he needs to be VERY suspicious if she keeps asking him to speak directly into the floral arrangement!!

Agreed 100%.

If she attempts to bait you into a fight, avoid it at all cost. Be loving and patient.

Sometimes it's beneficial to be over 55!!

All Blessings,
Jerry

Pappasito's is better!

Number 3 is the first thing I thought of, too. "Go ahead, take the dam house for the weekend. I won't be there!"