Hello everyone. As you all know by now, my divorce has been finalized! There is this guy that I am talking to and he is such a nice person. The only thing is that he constantly talk about "Big Hip Women." This seems to be a weakness of his. I asked him how do he really feel about me. He said that he would never go for another woman because I am the one that he is interested in and he know that he wants our relationship to go even deeper and one day we get married. It makes me very uncomfortable and it hurts me when he talk about another womans hips. It's like this, he informed me that he knew this woman was interested in him because she kept her eyes on him the entire time why he was in a store. Okay, I can deal with that because other women will be interested in him just like other men have showed interest in me. But what really upset me is, he said, "she got big hips and I looked at her finger and she did not have a wedding band on it." This got me to thinking, why would you even go as far as to check this woman out like that if you did not have an interest in her? To check out her ring finger and her hips and then tell me about it; that really hurt me. I need your advice, should I continue in this relationship or am I possibly just over reacting? I do not want a repeat of my bad marriage. We have been in a relationship for about 2 months.

Tania, I think you already know the answer. This man may be fun sometimes, but I think it's a bad sign when he not only notices the woman is not wearing a wedding ring, but tells you about it in detail. It's like he's already testing the waters, pushing the boundaries of good taste and possibly your boundaries on what's acceptable in a relationship. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath and kick him to the curb. You don't need that in your life. Those kind of remarks bring you down, not build you up. You want a good man who will build you up.

PS: It's ALWAYS a red flag when an adult tells another adult they can see them married when they've only been dating 2 months. It shows the person who says it may be very immature, and not know that the 2 months are usually part of the infatuation period, and that you don't know a person well after 2 months. Or, he may be manipulative and trying to use a fantasy and flattery to keep you tied to him while he misbehaves. This kind of pressure in a relationship is not uncommon in abusers.

What would happen if you told him "You know, I like you and all, but it's way too soon for me to know whether I'd enjoy being married to you or not. So, let's not talk about it for several more months."