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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 5 |
My husband just told me a week ago that he never loved me after 14 1/2 years of marriage and 4 children. He is in military and has been "seeing" another woman he knew in elementary school and reconnected with her through classmates. com. She has since left her husband and brought her 2 children from TX to NC. They are staying a hotel till they can find a place to live and is eating up our savings. He also took out a loan to afford a second home. He says he isn't sleeping with her and doesn't plan on it till we are divorced which in NC is at least a year of seperation
He claims he is going to pay for all the bills and mortgage and I keep the house and the kids as long as he can see them anytime he wants. So far kids don't know he has moved out as he comes over every night after work and stays till they are in bed. I can't afford to get a lawyer and he says we can go to legal on base but I have heard they don't look out for the best interest of either party. I just don't know what to do. I love him but if he doesn't love me is there any way we will get back together. Plus with her being here now she has control on him and he says she makes him happier in 2 weeks than he has been in the 14 1/2 years we have been married. I have a history of suicide attempts and so he says everytime he has tried to leave (once before marriage and once about 2 years into marriage) I pulled him back in and he felt obligated to stay.
Please any advice and prayers would be appreciated
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
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Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Welcome to MB. I'm sorry you're here but you've found the BEST place to help you get through this. I suggest though that you repost this under the Infidelity Section under General Questions II. That is where the most activity is and you'll get more responses (although it's kind of slow in the evenings). There are a lot of military people there that can help you as well.
Start reading all the articles on the right under Most Popular Links. If you can order "Surviving an Affair" ASAP. If you can't afford it, you can probably find it at the library.
((((Patricia))))
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,986 |
Oh and by the way, the things your husband is saying is nothing new. They (WS) ALL say pretty much the same thing and tend to "rewrite" the marital history to justify their affairs.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 14 |
princessmeggy - should i comment here or wait until the post will be redirected to the right section?
hopefulwife08 - i feel your pain
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