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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 15 |
Hi everone . Im new to the forum .I have been lurking for a few days. What a wealth of info it has been . Anyway I found out 2 weeks ago that she has been having an affair with a person she has meet at college. He is 30 and she thinks he has never been with a woman ,judging from his lack of knowing what to do sexually. Anyway my wife is 44......... but very attractive . She spends 2 nights a week with him and calls him every day. Im really trying to work this plan A and have learned a lot and she seems happyer . However She continues to lie as far as im concerened . She continually tries to find ways to spend more time whith him . She had agreed to not escalate the affair. We just had an argument about me not letting her go over to his town a little earlyer to meet a girlfriend of hers first and that would make it nessasay to come home later. 1st She sees this enabling friend of hers every mon. She claims she would be to tiered to drive back at her normal time so she needs to sleep longer at his place. Anyway how do you make plan A work when she keeps trying to escalate her affair with him. This sucks. Any wisdom would be app. thanks Otis
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Member
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245 |
What you do is find out everything you can about him (and her) and then you expose the affair to everyone who can pressure them to stop. His wife/girlfriend/parents/siblings/friends and anyone important in her life who will confront her.
You need to hire a PI to get info and then expose the affair. And continue Plan A. She will be mad, but you are saving your marriage.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 833 |
Just one little note on exposure.
It should take the form of a large tsumani of TRUTH! DO NOT give any warning / threat that you are about to expose. It is best to expose to those whom can make a difference / influence your WW / OM at the same time.
Incremental exposure gives the waywards time to come up with a cover story / to spin the exposure to not be as d@mning to them.
Make no mistake, your WW will not be angry with you, She will be FURIOUS!! She will likely spout words and vile like you have never witnessed before! Be prepared for this!
Your M CAN survive your W's temporary anger. It CAN NOT survive an ongoing affair!
Stay Strong!
WTF
*** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288 |
Hi Otis
I've been following you too...
I'm puzzled.
Did you ask her what marriage meant to her?
Would she forego her career for the sake of it?
More to the point would you uproot your home/career/family/friends for the sake of this woman?
Are you prepared to submit leave, wear disguises and follow her?
Even confront the pair in public?
...Will you fight for your marriage?
If so,...tell her!
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,288 |
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hey Sam, hows the affair going? 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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