I married in Nov 07. How we met, the whole story was like something out of a fairytale. We were head over heels for each.
When my ex found out about my husband, he flipped, filed false charges against him and we spent the first 4 months either in different homes or in court battling this nut job. No matter what - we still held on to each other tight andn knew we could get through anything. We decided to have a baby when it was all over with. This will be my 4th, his 2nd.
Feb 14th I found out I was pregnant and everything changed. He completely became withdrawn. Hateful things started coming out of his mouth and his bags were packed after each and every arguement. Twice while he was leaving, I paniced he said aweful things and I hit him. I regret it and have apologized profusely and even sought counseling for my anger, I promised never to hit him again, and I didn't. At 3 months, we were told we would miscarry. 3 days later he left me. Then we decided to work things out but he refused to move back in.
2 months ago he decided to give it another try. A month ago, his daughter came down for her summer vistation and we were a family again. He was moving back in. He started smoking pot - on a regular basis - like 4-5 times a day. I told him to keep it away from our family - not to do it around me and not to lie about it either. He agreed then one day he wanted to at home and I said no. He threw a fit, said horrible things - brought up my past and did it anyway. When I didn't go to bed that night and slept on the couch, he woke up the next morning screaming and yelling, grabbed his daughter and left at 6am. A week later he admitted he was wrong, but still felt like he couldn't move back home (he's staying with his mom). Fathers day he told me we could get through anything, we went on a weekend getaway and he swore he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. The end of the week I over did it and was in the hospital for preterm labor. He was so cold, and even had me drive myself back home. Then he had his weekend, he went golfing but lied about where he was going, because it was incrediably expensive. When I confronted him on it, he shut down, hung up on me told me he wanted a divorce.
He told me that he just didn't want to be held accountable and didn't want the responsiblity. We got married too quick and he needed to focus on himself. He acknowledged that I have been giving it my all to make it work and he knew taht I love him very much. After the intial shock, a few days later, I finally asked if we could try reconnecting and if he would go on a date with me. I planned it for a week. At first he was hesitant but once we got to the location - he was back to himself, calling me pet names, we were laughing and joking around. An hour later - he was back to being a jerk. When I dropped him off, he was out the door before i could even stop the car. The next day he drained his accounts.
He says he doesn't care about me, doesn't feel bad and could care less how I feel right now. He refuses to pay any of the bills he promised to and now Im left - in my 3 trimester with 3 kids and I am forced to move out of my home this week - and unsure where i am going to go since I don't have any family support, and obviously no income.
I still - can't let go. If he made some sense when i spoke to him, I would buy it. But I don't. We made it through so much already. Theres no cheating, and nothing that can't be overcome, so I'm having a really hard time with divorce thing.
Is there hope? Im carrying on with my life - I don't have another choice, but do I give up?
