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"But somehow, after interviewing the women you're about to meet, my past doesn't seem so shameful."
And there's the whole reason for her article.
ba109
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Yeah. Great.
It was not ok for my x to seek friendship w/ a woman outside our marriage. And, it was not ok for her to respond.
Just what we need. Make it seem like they aren't so bad.
But OMs are just as bad.
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the interesting read is how all these ow/op seem so self imposed to feel justified in their lack of character and morals because THEY were in a low time.
it just goes to show how society has become so self indulgent for everyones own personal satisfaction rather then take the nano second to think about one's consequences on another human being(s) like a bs or children of a bs.
me-59 ww-55 married 1979 - together since 1974 6 kids together 15,19,21,23,29,30 my oldest son 37 d-day (confession day) memorial day 2001 oc born 12/20/01 now 8 grandchildren
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"Four years later, we got engaged. We've now been married for more than two years, and have worked through our guilt over how we started. And despite what people may think, I don't consider for even a nanosecond that Todd would cheat on me. There's just too much history, love and potential for it to be worth it. And those are his words"
LOL, probably the same words he told his wife.................
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I was reading the other day on the other board a thread called "low moral character".
There were over 200 replies and only a couple thought that an affair indicated low moral character. Not surprising since they are all OW.
But sometimes I wonder if they REALLY believe it.
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Funny enough, I was watching Tori & Dean, completely forgetting THEIR past, until she brought it up. She was saying that he was married when they met and he left his wife for her, so it's always in the back of her mind that he would do the same thing. Of course, his reply was, "but I was in an unhappy relationship then". I just wanted to pull his hair out! Stupid, stupid man and OW!!! I changed the channel.
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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I don't consider for even a nanosecond that Todd would cheat on me. There's just too much history, love and potential for it to be worth it. And those are his words" And in a few years she will be here in SHOCK, SHOCK I TELL YOU, because the cheater she married..........CHEATS!! And I won't feel a bit sorry for her because she VOLUNTEERED for it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OW are mad! I don't know how they justify this in their minds. Worse are the WS who try to justify their OW/OM's behaviour. A few weeks back, my WH was trying to convince me that the OW is sweet n innocent n that she hasn't done any wrong. He then tried to convince me that we could get back together when he is 60 n i am 56 I told him that never in a million years would I ruin someone else's marriage/relationship to build my own. That shut him up!!
Married 6 yrs No children A started in Dec 07 I found out Feb 08
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Yes, it is amazing how they all spout the same stuff. How can they be so STUPID?????
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Yes, the OW in my sitch is so wonderful, would never cheat on my WH and is so much more mature than I am. We were on the phone and I was fed up so I let him know that yeah maybe you think she is so wonderful and so much better than I am, but I never cheated with another woman's husband and took said husband away from his children. He hung up on me
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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Yes, the OW in my sitch is so wonderful, would never cheat on my WH and is so much more mature than I am. We were on the phone and I was fed up so I let him know that yeah maybe you think she is so wonderful and so much better than I am, but I never cheated with another woman's husband and took said husband away from his children. He hung up on me That is so funny! It's amazing how they suddenly run away from hearing the truth. U can only laugh at them
Married 6 yrs No children A started in Dec 07 I found out Feb 08
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I know! It amused me a little then, but it really cracks me up now. He is so silly and when I think about some of the things he said right after Dday...I just have to laugh because they are so senseless!!
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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From the article.... Every day I vowed to end the damage I was inflicting on my life, his life, her life … But then he'd pull me into bed and my good intentions would fall away as quickly as our clothes. What self-serving, victimization drivel! "He'd pull me into bed..." I've read all sorts of stuff like this -- I've had a fascination with understanding the OW mindset because my wife WAS the OW twice. What drove her to it, how did she justify it, how did she look in the mirror every morning? It truly amazes me...I don't think I could handle the guilt. Not only was my wife cheating on our family, but she was taking part in destroying two other families (her second OM had quite a few kids). This was not the woman I married. She, of course, blamed the OM and they, of course, blamed her. Naturally, the second OM had an easier time of convincing his wife that my wife is a "hussy" when they learned he wasn't the first affair she'd had. Thanks for the post -- interesting read.
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A tad OT, but how can the OW's family justify her behavior?
My ExH has been living with his OW now for over 2 years. Her family adores him, even though he's just a few years younger than her parents are!!
OW cheated on her H to be with mine, yet her parents seem to approve and they approve of them living together knowing she ruined my M and my kids lives!
I'm sure they are real proud of how their only daughter turned out!
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"I'm sure they are real proud of how their only daughter turned out! "
Yeah, I just found out my WH's ow parents and her sister are enabling his affair. bet they're real proud she has broken up a family.
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I don't know, I guess I just can't understand how a parent would actually be O.K. in knowing their daughter cheated on her own H, to be with a married man with 2 kids, to cause a divorce, and then live with him, who is truly old enough to be her father.
Her parents have met my kids, so they see the children that were affected by all of this, yet they still are O.K with it and encourage it.
I mean we are now D'd, so even taling about this is a moot point, but how morally screwed up are people these days when they condone their own kid's affairs?! BTW, ExH's mother LOVES the OW, and she too encourages the whole situation!
Guess I wasn't raised to think that was an O.K thing to do.
OW parents are supposed to be very religious. Guess they missed the memo on commandment number 6...adultery!
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Spin it around and ask what parent would for their child to be in a relationship with a person that has a history of cheating on a spouse, gf/bf,
I think most parents would want the best for their kids, and knowing that the person that their child has settle on in a cheater speaks volumes of the whole family moral compass.
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Funny twist this has taken. My WstbxH's family was initially angry with him, with the exception of his mom. He convinced her that he actually met someone and fell in love in the 5 days between when he asked me for a divorce and D-day and she bought it . I think a lot of it was that she didn't want to believe her own son did something like that - her other son had only just discovered his WW's A 2 months prior to this. StbxMIL actually gave OW birthday presents that she bought for me and did everything she could to smooth things over between WstbxH and his brothers. But despite her insistance that WstbxH never actually cheated, she went to Scotland last fall to visit the rest of the family. I received Christmas cards from all of them addressed to Tabby and WstbxH - hope you can come visit soon etc.,etc. In other words, she was too ashamed to tell them - even though WstbxH and OW had been living together for over 6 months by then. On OW's side, she has a large family. Almost all of them rallied around OWH. She has one sister who she is still close with, who enables the A and even babysits her DD to help keep her from her father (OW is trying to turn WstbxH into dad and is getting frustrated because neither DD nor OWH accept this :o). She has one other sister who still speaks to her, but her sisters DH is good friends with OWH and they have told OW that WstbxH is not welcome at their house. They hosted Christmas last year without them. It's bizarre how family reacts and even more bizarre that OP's and WS don't seem to get it. WstbxH and OW are trying to get married because that way, everyone will have to accept it. Yeah, that'll help .
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Every family is different. Some totally accept these As and don't rock the boat. My H's family did this when 2 siblings had As. Now, years later some of them are very different because of their own experiences.
I read online today a story about the golfer (Norman?) who is paying his exW 100M settlement. Apparently he had an A with Chris Everet? and they Med. Apparently all 4 Ss used to vacation together pre-A. I just realize this A crap is all over the place. It's accepted in many areas and flaunted publically. People are so pathetic in that they really think they have to have this man or woman that is Med to someone else.
Oh well! Not sure what my point is. I guess it's no surprise that so many folks don't see As as immoral behavior. What's important is "being happy"!
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