Beats getting arrested for battery!

yes it does, but I am trying to be the bigger man in all aspects here.

There are times that one can not think of anything witty, clever, and or bitting to say.

That's when it's best to not even acknowledge the person. In this case the OM.

yah,that is good advice, but when i go over there i am going to be there for a bit packing some of my daughters stuff. i don't know what this guy is like. he may just stay away, or he may be up my butt the whole time. i am just trying to look at all angles here.

what are you going over there for? who has physical custody of your dd right now?

if you have physical custody you don't allow your w visitation until you go to court. period.

and you don't allow dd around om in any circumstance

if you are taking things to ww then you stop in your tracks. you tellher that you will put them on YOUR porch and she can pick them up at her convience.

you stop doing things for her. she wants you out of her life then step out and make her realize what life is without you.

and quite frankly i think you are past the plan A scenerio. you need to move on to plan B. NOW

no my daughter is safe at my mil house. she lives in the same town as my ww. when my wife left she took everything of my daughters. everything. she told me that i could have my daughter for the week, and i need some of her stuff. so i have to go over there.

Wait. Are you picking up your daughter to take her BACK to your and WW's home?

If so, don't ever give her back to WW. WW abandoned you and DD.

Get a lawyer, now.

find a friend and take them with you. tell ww that you plan on bringing your friend in the rare case that her om is there. explain that you don't want any trouble and that your friend will be doing the actual picking up of dd's stuff.

then don't go back again. if you have to buy dd new stuff or do laundry more often. ask mil if she can give you anything of dd's until things get worked out

Just a note. WW has agreeded to let him have DD for a week. bdh is in one stat, she is in another. She has no clue that he knows about OM. WW's sister let it slip to MIL. WW has no idea that her mom knows. I see a perfect opportunity for bdh to bundle up baby girl, keep his mouth shut and take her home to his house where he keeps her until he can et custody. I would have called a lawyer yesterday if I were him. All of this other advice is just clouding the situation for him. He needs Plan-get DD away from unknown OM and wackey WW IMHO.

Say

Yes, clear simplicity is what is needed.

Let me offer this thought on getting stuff for DD2. Don't.

Go to Wal Mart, stock up on diapers and buy a bunch of cheap clothes for DD2. You can get lots of clothes for her age for cheap.

Go to Goodwill or some other similar store and buy the safety gates and safety stuff you need, unless you already have that.

You don't need to risk a confrontation or to "get stuff" you can buy cheap at the store.

There's not much you need for a 2 year old. The dollar store is full of toys that would keep her happy. Clothes is cheap for a 2 YO. You need a sippy cup, a blankie, diapers, wipes, and clothes to change her into. That's all you need.

Don't go to your WW's place and risk a confrontation.

This is seriously a snatch and run operation. Get DD, return her to marital home, get lawyer. File for abandonment and an emergency protective order.

That is a hard dose of reality for WW. She wants to move away with DD2, get her new man, keep daughter, and let you be the man to fund her immorality. That, or she has naive visions in her head where you guys divorce splendidly with no rancor and get along fabulously and you welcome OM into your home with your DD2 and have big parties where you all get along spendidly and you're so happy for your WW to have found happiness with another man. Gosh, you have all these happy feelings for her and her new life and she is so happy you have taken things so well.

These are the images in her head of divorced life, never expecting that you may actually want to have your daughter in your life and will fight to protect your rights as a father.

So fight the good fight, get your daughter away from this immoral, adulterous, dangerously stupid woman and OM and protect your rights as a father by slapping her with abandonment charges and a protective order. You hold all the cards. Now you need to play your hand.

You have no idea how much this will help protect you as a father. But you have to have the will do execute the plan.

exactly pom.

this is what you need to do NOW, not next week, not tomorrow, not this afternoon, NOW.

don't worry about ticking ww off she is already out of the house.

quite frankly i think you need to get a little ticked off. you seem to be moving along like the old vinny barbarino saying "i'm so confused"

if you don't act now you may not only lose your ww but end up a very limited part time dad. your choice.

Please, please, please get there immediately and get your DD. Smile to your wife like everything is rosy. Tell her to have a great week. Get your DD BACK INTO YOUR STATE!!!!!

Monday, be at your lawyer's office ready to file abandonment and get a RO against her.

Skip plan A, go right to B.

Please get your baby! You have no idea who this OM is. He could be a child molester. I don't say that to scare you but you never know.

well there are some new developments. things have just exploded. I am finding out that my mother in law is not helping like she says that she is. My wife called me last night and said that she needed to think things over and that I couldn't come get my daughter today. so I decided to let the cat out of the bag and spill to her everything that I know. it was time for the confrontation. She denied any of it(of course). she said that she was going to get off the phone with me and call her mom about it. well supposedly her mom denied saying anything to me. i just talked to ww and she is on her way over to her moms house. she said when she gets there that she is going to get all of us on the phone at once to see what the real story is. so if this is correct not only am i getting lied to and stabbed by my wife, but also my mil. so now i am even more lost than before. my wife is back to saying that i can't see my daughter again until the divorce is final. i tried calling the lawyer again today, and still no answer. i don't know what to do right now.

and by the way. i don't know where everybody got the notion that my wife and child are out of state. they are not. they are in nevada they are just 2 hours from me. the alleged man is form California and supposedly is or was over here.

Get over there.

Get your child.

And....

While you are on you way to get your DD...

Keep calling your lawyers office...

GET AN EMERGENCY CUSTODY ORDER STAT!!!!!

Brother,

She just declared all out war on you. You have no idea how crtical it is for you to get an emergency order ASAP.

Document this. She can't do this nor can she deny you seeing your DD2.

You absolutely have to get an emergency order. You'll have to wait till Monday, but you have to act ASAP.

Doing nothing will seriously hurt you in terms of custody. Go get books on Father's Rights.

They can give you guidance as well.

I'm a little out of my element, but can he call the cops and get them to go and have the child returned to the Marital Home?

You need court intervention.

Is it illegal to record a conversation in your state? If you are a one party state, then record her telling you that you can't see your DD2 till after the D.

Listen, waywards, especially women, are very convinced that kids will automatically be given to them in custody situations. That isn't so.

But it takes a man who is proactive to have things get favored for the man.

You must act now!

There was another BH here, named Eph, who had his WW take his kids away and refused to let him see them over CHristmas. He wisely hired a lawyer and now has full custody of them.

The judge did not like the fact that his WW kept the kids from him.

I'll try to put a call out to him.

Your WW seems to believe that "The Santa Clause" family operation could happen with her.

I always did hate that aspect of the movies. NO DIVORCED man is on that good of terms with the new husband.

Just saw the bat symbol.....thanks Marshmallow

Yes, it's true my now exWW did the same thing to me that you are now experiencing.

You have two options here - you can go get your daughter or you can choose to wait it out and help your legal standing. I chose the latter because I did not want to put my 2 kids through a tug of war battle, because that's really what this will turn into until you have some better legal footing. Plus I did not want to do the same thing she did and just pick them up and go. It was hard to do that, especially over Christmas. I got a voice recorder and recorded EVERY conversation we had every day for two weeks where I asked to either talk to the kids or see them and every time that she said no.

Go get a voice recorder and record every time you call and ask to talk to or see your DD. You MUST document this. In parallel, do what the others have told you and get your lawyer moving. He works for you, not the other way around.

And yes, right after that the kids were back home per judge's orders. Now that the D is final, I have primary legal and physical custody.

Do whatever it takes to protect your little one. Worry about the rest afterward.