She's not married, from what I know she broke up with her fiance a few months ago and I think that's when the affair started. If she had a husand he'd be the first person I'd try to find.

Contacting her does NO good. Like I just told someone else in your shoes, everyone justifies their own actions so they can live with their actions. In her world, YOU are the problem; she's just helping this wonderful man unfortunate enough to be married to dead weight. It's the people in her life who she cares about who you need to contact - they are the only ones who can put pressure on her to change her actions.

How do you know she is not married? And what names came up as relatives on those links I gave you?

She lives in Michigan but he stayed at a hotel while there? I wonder why he wouldn't stay at her house?

Well, he said she didn't meet him there. It's just hard for me to believe. She has a 10-year old son so maybe that is why? They wanted to do the deed without a 10-year old around?

Nothing came up for her relatives on those searches unless I pay $50 which I do not have. I'm just scraping by right now.

kdis, I feel like i am pulling teeth here. How do you know she is not married?

Because I was told way before the affair ever started. When my husband first started working with her he introduced her to me and told me about her.

I'm sorry if I'm not understanding all of this yet. This is a new direction I am taking. I'm going from have no contact except for kids and finances and only via email and text and lawyers to talking to him and being nice. It's a big turn around. Even my husband told me I was confusing him when I talked to him a bit ago. He said I was acting weird. I told him I want to try and make us work. He's been asking me out to dinner for the past week and a half and I've been refusing him but I'm trying to get a babysitter for tomorrow so we can hopefully go out and have a nice drama free dinner together. I'll do anything except be a doormat again to make this marriage work. We have so much together and so much to lose. I want to be able to enjoy at least part of my pregnancy. So far this entire pregnancy has been an emotional roller coaster. I've lost ten pounds and I'm 19 weeks along and I'm really thin. So the toll this has taken on my body is obvious. Luckily for the past week I've been eating much more because I know this baby is going to start needingmore to fatten up.

I'm trying to listen and understand. I'm reading the articles and rying to soak up as much as I can. I have all day tomorrow to read as myhusband is coming to get my daughter to look at homes all day. Hopefully soon after he gets it the kids and I will be able to move in with him. Of course this is assuming he wants to work on the marriage as much as I do. He seems like he wants it. It seems like the last month has taken a toll on him and maybe he's realizing what he's going to lose. It's too early to tell though. My husband and I haven't connected in a very long time. My son has a rare disorder that has been consuming my life ever since he was born and my husband and I have really grown apart in that time.

So please feed me your wisdom. I want to learn as much as I can. Expecially since tomorrow will be the first day that my husband and I will be out together alone since our anniversary dinner in January.

Maybe it will help to think back to when you were dating. It will remind you what you liked about him, and it will fill his love bank if you two can be fun together again.