My wife moved out with her 17 year old daughter last saturday, she moved in with a family friend from her previous marriage, he has a big house, and lives in her daughters school district, she is a cheer leader and needs to be at school a lot, this was her excuse for doing it, I do know that she has gone out with this guy before I met her. However I do feel that nothing has happened yet, I have asked her to get the rest of their stuff out of the house so that this can be a total seperation which is the right thing to do, I have also offered assistance to help her do this i.e. money if she could not get it anywhere else(him). I know that as her husband I am obligated to my family as long as she has not slept with him! How do I know. I did some research and prayer, I have her voicemail password at her job, and to her mobilephone, she does not know that I have them. So far nothing. Which doesnt mean that it could not start today. I know where he lives and have rode by there several evenings this week and she was not there, when I knew that her daughter was at work, therefore giving her the opportuinty to be there with him alone. She has also come over here several times this week and said she was packing, but beyond the first day when she bought boxes and boxed up some things she now says that she wants to wait and go look at a house on saturday before she moves the stuff, I need her stuff out for me to be able to not be sad when I come home and see all the boxes and family items, how am I doing so far, any suggestions, I still love her very much!<P>------------------<BR>Eugene

I'm kind of confused, actually. Sounds like a combined Plan A and B... but the main thing is that YOU LOVE HER. Hmmm...<P>You need to find out if the affair is for real first. Get proof. I'd keep checking out his house, and I'm wondering if you can access her phone, email, etc. to get the proof you need, since you have the passwords. I'm all for snooping until you get the proof you need. Then it has to stop. <P>What is she saying throughout all of this???<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Eugene, <BR>I see that you are relaively new here. Welcome. Read other posts and buy the books- I got a little library going myself here.<P>What brought this on- A change in school?<P>Has your wife said anything about her ants/needs not being met? Is there anything you can do to change? I agree, snoop until you get something then stop. I know its hard to stop, but the pain of knowing more is worse.<BR>take care and let us know how it goes.