POM, it's funny you would say that. The GAI told me yesterday that she even told WW that I had NEVER said ONE NEGATIVE THING about her! Meanwhile, WW is trying to make me sound like Satan. Of course, it backfired and she just looked bitter and vindictive.

It's almost sad that WW went from being one of the most admired and respected women in our area to now one of the most pitied and looked down upon...and SHE did it all. I haven't attmepted to make her look bad at all. SHE told people about OM, SHE is announcing her illegitimate pregnancy, SHE is now taking up former bad habits (smoking, drinking, VERY foul language, etc.). I have done NOTHING!

Why would I further emberass my children by having everyone think terribly of their mother???

I agree! This is not good mother behavior.

Princess, while I agree...NOTHING WW has done in the last three months is good mother behavior!!!

Drinking while pregnant? hmmm...more fuel for the fire.

She MAY have quit that...don't know, but I do KNOW she hasn't yet quit smoking (kids saw her last night).

Now, being a nurse, she knows how BAD that is...makes me wonder if it is all just a lie. But, why tell the GAI (Whom she hardly knows) if it's a bluff.

She might tell GAI to get some sympathy.

Who knows?

It is very good that she's noticed that you haven't said anything negative about WW.

She's really gone off the deep end. Could she have a brain tumor? Seriously. I'm not joking.

To change her behavior so radically....

It just boggles the mind how a person can turn on their own children this way.

Could very seriously be bipolar disorder. Certainly a personality disorder. A psych eval is indeed called for.

My dad had a brain tumor, a long time ago. And it really did change his personality. It was so weird. I feel bad, cos that was after he left us, and he tried to use it to get us to feel sorry for him, and I wasn't buyin'. He got it taken out, though.

Deliberately trying to sabotage the adoption of baby girl is the most unforgiveable offenses I have ever seen.

I'm glad you are going to a fast divorce.
I personally would never be able to forgive THAT act.

Waywards have a way of killing any good feelings or desire to reconcile through their actions.

Mine made false allegations about the relationship with my daughter. Any thoughts of reconciling died with that act.

AW3's WW is almost making it easy for him to get over her. She's acting like a possessed alien being who doesn't resemble his wife at all. Pretty easy to get over someone who is behaving this evil.

Ab3:

Just wanted to drop in. I have followed your story since the beginnning, but never had much to add, so, time to throw in my two cents.

Your WW MAY be pregnant. Considering she is a completly wacked out state, she may be missing periods, and thinking that she may be. But she IS an RN. And she should know better and test kits are cheap.

Either way, she is appealing to you to SAVE HER. Look how far she has fallen, will you SAVE her again?

She needs you to do that.

You don't have to. That's your choice. And having read this thread, it is prefectly understandable for you to make the choice to cut her loose. And you have all the opportunity and she seems willing to give you what you deserve in the settlement.

Disclosing the pregnanacy to your children? You do not have to. If the preganancy is real, then WW will tell them. If it isn't, and just a PLOY, she will not say a thing. So, your children are protected from her lying to the children about that. As fogged out as she is, she has NO PROBLEM with telling YOU that, but would never tell her children. "that could HURT them!"

Write each of your children a letter. Dated today, telling them WHAT you would like to tell them. So that you can give them these letter when it is time to tell them about the pregnancy. This isn't really for them to read and find out about the pregnancy, it's to show them that you do not want to keep them in the dark, but that you want them to have the truth, when YOU KNOW for sure that it IS the TRUTH. The first line could be, "I'm sorry that you have to read this letter, but you deserve the truth, when its been confirmed about..." If the WW is pregnant, and tells the kids during one of her visitations, and you have to deal with the fallout, you can bring out your letters from last week, or last month, and tell them your truth. And SHOW them that you were committed to tell them WHEN you knew it was the truth.

Ask your Attorney about custody and your exposure to this potential OC. See what can be done to force/confirm preganacy to clarify your Plan D Process.

Just my .02

Sorry that your sitch has deteriorated to the extent that it has. I hope you have had a chance to read Runningboy's thread. That's a repentant WW over there. And then to discover that she was pregnant with OM child? OUCH. But many issues were talked about and discussed in that thread that may be of interest IF your WW comes to her senses.

LG

You are all EXACTLY correct. I feel a HUGE sense of relief that I am not forced to make any real decisions here.

I look at it this way. WW had abandoned her family. She has done harm, both emotionally and slightly even physically to her biological children. She has had an affair (for the third time!). She is now pregnant as a result of her sin. She had attempted to cost us the adoption of MY daughter. She has publically attempted to discredit me and my reputation (to little avail). WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO TAKE THAT BACK EVER AGAIN???

I can't explain her SUDDEN mental change. Bipolar, tumor, NPD...who knows. All I know is, my kids and I are better off free from the drama!

Last night, M said that WW wanted her to tell me how good she thinks I look now (I guess she saw me at the baseball games three weeks ago last). I've lost 38 lbs. (from 220 to 182) on the "infidelity diet." I'm working out daily, and I've aquired quite a tan from spending evenings at the pool with the kids. I suppose I was supposed to be flattered, but I chose NOT to even respond or acknowledge what M said. I simply took my kids and drove away!

What is she thinking now? Honestly, I think she expected me to welcome her and her new child back with open arms. Maybe she is trying to flatter me back into submission...who knows!

I am on the way now to sign the contracts at the attorney's and to get this ball rolling fast! 90 days from filing...the legal aspects are all over and done with. Hard for her to deny adultery now!

WW switched gears almost overnight and NEVER weighed the consequences of her decisions. I have taken now three months making sure of what is best for me and my kids. At every turn, WW has shown me who she nows is, what she is capable of, and has literally made the decision for me. Time to be free from the venom and mood swings!!! IT'S OVER!!!

LG, Sorry, I was typing the last post before I saw yours.

Looking back, my WW has been manipulative all along. Her current willingness to lie about ANY issue has made me question things she has said and done over the past 15 years! Just this week, she told the GAL that she had retained her attorney...then, she changed that to she had consulted with her paralegal...then, her friend was taking the money over for her. The truth was, as my attorney called and learned...she hadn't spoken with anyone there! She had a consultation 2 months ago and they haven't heard from her since! Lies! All lies!

I have NO DOUBT that, once my WW reaches the true "bottom," she will become "repentent" and beg to come home. Unfortunately, it's time for dad to make the decisions that are in the best interest of both he and his kids...she's NOT coming back this time!

Her repentence would probably last "maybe" a year or two (as it did the last two times)...then, I'm back stuck with WW!

When your 10 year old daughter says she wished her mom would just move away and that she is happier at home without her...that's enough for me.

I will not tell the kids about the pregnancy yet. I hope WW doesn't either until she can no longer hide it. It does concern me though that she is so open with it to people who are no more than acquaintances. I would hide under a rock if it were me and not tell a soul!

My guess (and this sound VERY harsh) is that she will "lose" (facitiously) this child in the coming weeks or months and THEN expect me to take her back. I'm afraid that bridge is already burned!

ABw/3,

It really sounds as if WW has cracked up, or else is in total angry rebellion against God and family.

It's very weird to me that a Christian lady, and nurse at that, would choose to begin drinking and smoking when she finds out she is pregnant. Now before anyone misunderstands what I am saying, yes I've known good Christians who smoked, or who would have a drink or two socially. But to just start this up now?? Very strange indeed.

I wonder what OM thinks of this. I'll bet he rues the day he got involved with a woman who is slipping off the deep end and is now endangering his child.

One thing that looks likely to happen, and you may have already thought of this, but it concerns me. WW is so unstable, and getting worse daily. I'll be surprised if you don't hear any day that she has either lost her job, or is quitting because of her mental state.

Are you prepared to have complete responsibility for the finances for a home and three children, when you get zero support from her? Even if her mental state allows her to continue working, her anger and resentfulness may cause her to quit to keep from paying CS. I'm not suggesting you find more paying work until a settlement is reached, but just to keep your eye out for something in case it comes to that.

What a mess. I am so sorry you are going through this, and I pity your children whose lives have been invaded by drama. I'm glad you have a good relationship with them, but still there will be a lot of pain.

Do you have a network of male friends in place for your own mental well-being? You need friends to confide in and to pray with, but preferably not women for a long time to come. You will be very vulnerable. Surround yourself with strong godly men, and find a pastor you trust to talk with. You've been very strong, but this is bound to be taking a toll on you.

You are all in my prayers.

Yes, I think she will try this.

The card she played wasn't played w/ the hopes of WINNING anything.

It was played in order to DESTROY.

That's the mode she is in now.

Watch your back, ab.

AW

Been keeping up with your stitch.

I dont know what to think about your overall situation other than get the ball rolling with the Atty quickly and to be very careful.


Ditto from Marsh.

WW is too unpredictable and thus dangerous,IMO

Just got back from retaining my attorney. The motion should be filed as soon as next week...Lord willing.

I know that more drama is to come, but my emotional involvement in it is over. Now, it's just about protecting the kids and getting out of this burning building before it completely collapses.

WW will soon realize what she's done and will then be seeking to come home. I know her...and I know this. This time, it's too late! I can never believe a word she says again! Her repentence needs to be to God...not me!

I don't believe this. I believe you WANT it to be over, but it waay too soon for this. Seek God and search your heart. You still have a lot of healing to do.

Princess, I respect your opinions and appreciate your faith....but, believe it...it IS over! I feel a HUGE sense of relief.

AB, I think you misunderstood. I wasn't implying that the marriage wasn't over. I was saying that your "emotional" involvement is not over. It takes a long time for the heart to heal. When I said search your heart, I meant that in order for this (the emotional involvement) to be OVER, your heart will know. I think you still have a lot of emotional healing to get through.