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The original Romantic Affairs thread was even better. I printed the whole thing out and gave it to more than one person. He did all kinds of research and seemed to have nailed the whole romantic affairs thing.
I was pretty sure he hadn't been around.
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I read some of my old thread the other day, and his name popped up a couple of times. I was wondering about him, too. weird.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Hi SL,
I may be mistaken, but did you had an LSA with PWC in place before? And if you have to wait for D to happen, in the meantime, is the LSA back in effect and protecting you? ...and will it be the basis for the D terms?
As far as your DS goes... given the fact that PWC is his dad MAY mean that he could pick up stuff from him as a model... but I say, when the time comes, try and put some trust in his judgement, because the OTHER important adult in his life is YOU!
I have the same worries about my boys and on how they will be effected by all of this in the futre, but when my 17-yr-old broke it off with his 'first love of his life' after going out together over 3 yrs and SHE was the one to break it off... he was heart-broken, but it seems he identified with ME and said 'hey mom, we're in the same boat'... I didn't think it was QUITE the same but I didn't say anything... but it did mean that he had SEEN me struggling, saw that it's something ONE can SURVIVE, so he would, too! He's doing great now, not jumping into any NEW R, just enjoying his time out with the guys!
So...if you are there to reassure DS, comfort him, love him, and overall allowing him to express and deal with his feelings, and just doing the best that you can....and trust yourself and DS and both of you will come out on top!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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We do have an LSA. It may just be my need to do something in the direction of divorce.
PWC was h3ll bent on filing and divorcing, yet he still hasn't done it. I think he wants to keep the door open. I want that door shut. He's had the open door policy for three years. It's time to move on.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Sl just popping in to say hey..."hey" Keep plugging along YOU are one of the STRONGEST women I know!
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Hi SL, We do have an LSA. It may just be my need to do something in the direction of divorce.
PWC was h3ll bent on filing and divorcing, yet he still hasn't done it. I think he wants to keep the door open. I want that door shut. He's had the open door policy for three years. It's time to move on. ...uhmmm.....I always wonder when the need TO DO SOMETHING comes up what's underneath it... is there any self-doubt involved here? ...I think you can TRUST yourself, SL, that if YOU have decided to close the door, it's CLOSED!...the formality of it will follow, and it doesn't matter what PWC thinks... ...and as you say....in order of priorities financially, seeing that you would have to wait a specific delay anyways ....its turn will come up...and you will DEAL with it! ...and I think you will also know, that if this persists and if you think that filing for D will be helpful to you, a change in priorities may be in order. You are in CHARGE, Madam SL!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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The way I see it, PWC doesn't have it within him to become a better man, and I need a better man. I believe all things are POSSIBLE to those who want it, but the easy way is, well, easy, and a lot of people go that route; It's PWC's route. It's easy, INITIALLY, but that's about it. Relationships are work. We all know this, we all hear it, but not all of us accept it when it comes time to DO that work. For all intents and purposes, he's lazy.
I'm pretty tired, too, of all of this. It's getting old. I know I don't have much of a choice, that I have to go thru this mess to get to the other side. Some days I just wanna kick PWC so hard in the B@LLs that they pop out of his eyesockets. Wouldn't solve a dang thing, though. MEh, it is what it is.
I'm still thinking about how I could possibly afford to file right now. This actually may be PWC's problem, too. Affordability. .
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Some days I just wanna kick PWC so hard in the B@LLs that they pop out of his eyesockets. Wouldn't solve a dang thing, though. I guess it would if your goal was to create a ball-less blind guy. Not much call for one of them, but you never know.
Last edited by chrisner; 07/18/08 10:24 AM. Reason: Hello, Bomb? Are you with me? Snap out of it, bomb!
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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SL, sometimes if you can't afford to file (at least in family law cases) there is some kind of affidavit you can file that will waive the filing fee. I don't know if they have this where you are but it's worth a look.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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thanks princess; I'll look into it.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Hi SL, I'm pretty tired, too, of all of this. It's getting old. I know I don't have much of a choice, that I have to go thru this mess to get to the other side. Yeah...I hear you SL...especially the 'tired' part.. What makes you say you don't you think you have a choice?... in fact there are a number of ways to handle it.... short-term wise... but it sounds to me that you are choosing the HIGH ROAD because you want to be the best person you can be... and HEAL the wound not just 'medicate it'...right? I'm still thinking about how I could possibly afford to file right now... ...and every little bit helps...if you this will help you, then you will figure out a way to make it happen. (((((((((((((SL))))))))))))
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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I say I don't have a choice, and that is incorrect, you are right. I do have a choice. My choice is to walk thru this mess, learn what I can, grieve as I need to and get to the other side, hopefully wiser and happier. What would be great is if there was the man of my dreams waiting at the other side of this muck. Oh, wait. Can I add to that. The man of my dreams, who my son adores, holding a really great bottle of champagne and my favorite burger, made to order. Oh, and in this dreamstate, can I have immediately lost 10 lbs and have the body I had before childbirth.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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and have the body I had before childbirth Is that with or without metal legs?
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I'm voting for without
and also for Pedro!
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5 OM1 9/06 - 03/07 OM2 04/07 - present Divorced May 8, 2008
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Hi SL,
I'm checking on you and see you are doing OK for the most part. This walk of ours, the feelings, the pain, the hope, etc, just plain hurts and sometimes we just take a little break from moving forward and feeling more.
Keep taking care of yourself, posting here and knowing how much so many of us admire, love and are right there with you.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84 D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09 WH and OW broke up 1-09 Started over 7-09
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Without. Pedro has my vote. and Queenie is a princess Oh, wait, that's a demotion, isn't it.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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I like your dream, SL.
...would make getting through the muck...soooo much easier!
...I would personally go for a thin crust pizza 'quattro stagione', meaning, four different sections, uhmmm...one artichokes, one red peppers, can't remember the others... with a, let's say, a bottle of Barolo...2000, why not!
I hope the vets aren't leading us on for nothing because we trust them when THEY say that life does get better...especially Believer since she says so a lot...LOL!
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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Luna,
I believe things are going to be good for me in the future. I HOPE they will be great.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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