WH is gone for a week. Not because of a fight or saying he needs time.
House sitting for a family member.

I am still supposed to be in plan A for few weeks (if I can).

He hugged me and told me he loved before he left. Not sure if he just did that for benefit of our son whom he took with with him.

Thing is I don't know if I should call him or what. He really doesn't seem to want to talk me and I don't want to push him away by annoying him.

I am pretty sure he is talking or texting the ow though.
I am just so confused as to how I should handle this.

If everything was normal we would be calling and texting all the time but we haven't done that in so long now.

Should I wait for him to call me? I called last night to just say goodnight and he didn't answer, or call me to do the same. Should I just call him anyway even though ever since the OW he always seems to be annoyed or won't answer?

It's so hard to show someone you love them when they act like they can't stand you anymore.

Got my copy of SAA, (already have HNHN) and am reading it. Nice to add another affair book to my collection.

Did you ever expose the Affair to anyone besides his mother? Do you know who the other woman is?

Rather than contacting him now, I would get my plan in order. Talk to people here about exposure and Plan B.

If he gets annoyed when he hears from you, probably best not to text him right now, work on your plan instead.

Only his mother and two sisters. Either the kids have been here or I have been working.

Is email okay for exposure?

Yes I know who the OW is.

Argh this is just so hard I am still so hurt.

Thats what I planned when I knew he was going.


Thats what I thought. But then is that still plan A for now?

Hi Letitbe. I would not recommend Plan B unless you have exhausted Plan A. Plan A is about being the best you can be and showing the BS you are worth keeping. Then, only then, can you do an effective plan B; you need to give him something to miss.

I am going to assume you have already exposed and get right down to your question. I think you should touch base now and then but do not appear desperate. No relationship talks. Keep it light. He will be looking for excuses to push you further away so try stay upbeat and positive.

Thanks so much for replying.

Gosh it's so hard to be upbeat. Maybe I will just call in little while to check in like we used to and then settle down with my book.

I hope he doesn't read here. He is the one that purchased HNHN 4 years ago and I just read it 9 mos ago. doh

Your exposure lacked vitamins.

Larry

Ah ha Larry. It sure did. Funny i am a health nut and when I don't take my vitamins and eat right I really can tell, WEAK.lol

Well I did tell two girls that know him and us and they went to snoop and tell others at his work. I told everyone that mutually know us from his 'buddy' that lives next door to us to everyone in my family.

Told them all how I wanted to save our relationship and all of them mostly said I should kick him to the curb and that I was a bigger woman than they could be for trying to work it out.

So I hope I can get the time tomorrow to call his work again. I did tell a person in HR that I knew before she knew him. He was pretty mad that I told to her. And said she didn't want to be in the middle of it.

I called and he said his stomach was still bothering him and then hold on, then he put my son on the phone. We talked about the movie they were about to watch. said I had to go and son said hold on and Dad says bye and he loves you.

Let, I hope you don't blame yourself for the A. He made the choice to cross the line. Sure, you are guilty of not meeting his needs but what he is doing doesn't even come close. Let's face the facts - you are the family hero because you are trying to save the M and keep your kids from having a split home.

It is very hard to stay upbeat - I know firsthand. But you are up to the challenge. You should be working on two things: 1) Being the best mom and individual you can be; and 2)busting up the A. Exposure is your best weapon - have you tried the OW's family?

I see no problem checking-in, especially at bedtime to say goodnight to your son. Just try to remain positive and play it cool.

Telling a person that you know in his Human Resource Dept. is not exposure at his work site. If you want to expose at his work, you write a certified letter and send it to the Director of Human Resources with a copy to the Executive Director of the Co. If you simply call the HR Dept., and talk to someone you know in the Dept., you are letting your H know that you are weak and fearful of exposure. You are giving your H control and letting him know that he can continue his EA. Last time you did something like that, you say he got angry at you. If he is going to get angry at you (and he will), you might as well reap the benefit of true Exposure!!

Take Care and be strong,

letitbe:

Don't call his work, send certified letter like lake said, and contact the OW's family, think about church, and DON'T threaten, just do it. And do it now. Take your vitamins.

Larry

Letit,

"Yes I know who the OW is."

Is she married? Does she go you your church? Does she work with your H. (sorry, did not read any previous posts) Does she live in your town?

Expose HER to the light of day.

The house he is sitting on is in your town? How about taking over a nice pizza for dinner. His son is your son? You are bringing it over to make sure the boy is eating.

Plan A being the best wife you can be. No need to talk relationships or feelings or heavy things like that. Keep it light and cordial. Look fantastic and smile alot.

kirk