Thanks. I know I'm not supposed to ask relationship stuff in plan A.
But I am too tired to be a doormat anymore.
I did a good plan A for at least a month. Stuffing all my feelings and being ever so kind.
I knew he was thinking of her last night. And compartmentalizing. It is soo awful for a wayward to hear things that makes the fantasy of their lover be broken into.
Poor baby.

He already doesn't like spending time with me won't even sit on the same couch with me and thats been going on for 6 mos maybe.
I am starting to hate him and don't want to give a dern what he does.
Just save my sanity.

I just want him to leave so I don't have to endure the pain anymore.
It'd be so much better if he was physically gone too.

So either I figure out how to a proper plan B or I am going to tell him to just hit the road in a not so nice way, probably.

The time and energy I've spent on this is draining my soul.
And the years are ticking away also. I will be a grandma x2 in August I need strength for other things.

At this moment I hate him and all I have let him have of me. I am an idiot.

HA now he's out of the house and though it is peaceful I am missing him. Well, the old him not the him he has become.

I really wish I had read HNHN a long time ago, it would have helped me so much and I probably wouldn't be here now.

Oh well should of could of, a dollar short and a day late. But where ever I go from here I will be stronger and have learned a lot.

Thank you all for your input and time.

I am losing all love for him and just feel like life is passing me by.

I want to move on. I am tired of being in this stuck mode.

I found her home number and called but it was busy. (To tell her boyfriend.)

So right now I really don't care much anymore. I just need to end this and move on.

I almost sent an e-mail just now, telling him its over between us.
If he wants someone else he can go for it. I feel stupid for fighting for us, now . He is losing the best woman he could ever find. I need to just let him go, he doesn't love me anymore. Not sure if he ever really did. I feel like I was just a possession to him anyway.

I want to just tell him to hit the road. I don't want to love him anymore. I don't want to sit here and wonder why the heck he doesn't care enough to even call while hes away.

I need a plan B letter to let him know he has to leave. And a plan B.

How do I start... and do this right with out love busters? It's so hard because the pain turns into anger and then I hold it in so I don't direct it at him. It is destroying me though.

I hate that I think I have a failed relationship. But I can not fix it all by self.

Argh....... I wish they would fix the search feature.

Why do we all hang on so desperately? Through the pain the life changing events the confusion..... Why not just cut our losses and move on with the knowledge that we have learned?

I just want to move on......................................!

Hanging on desperately is par for the course. You need to stick to the MB plans, so that you can look back in 5 years and have no regrets, and know that you did your very best to save your marriage.

Let, tell yourself that you're doing the best that can be done in this situation, which involves two people. You are being very strong, as you need to be. It will get better.

"When he gets really angry he yells, cusses and calls me names. Shuts down and sometimes leaves. I guess yeah verbal abuse. Never physical but has threatened with a clinched fist. He does have anger issues."

He has abuse issues. Please read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. It sounds like your H is textook.

Good luck to you.