This morning, I called the airlines to get the flight information, and found out that OM was down there, and returning this afternoon.

Once I found out, I called WW. She didn't answer her phone, so I said... "You have a lot of explaining to do... consider yourself divorced." That was it.

She sent me a text message basically saying "I am busy right now... What are you talking about? Thanks for ruining my Monday." I responded by saying "OM: Flight to TX on Friday, Return flight today, ring a bell?"

I told her I was filing for divorce, and not to contact me. I sent her an e-mail later saying I was no longer paying for her credit cards, vehicle insurance, cell phone, etc. I told her that I will continue to pay for the furniture we have on credit as I am in possesion of said furniture. I told her that I will also continue with renting the house, as we had agreed. I told her that I'd be seeking an intermediary to handle any questions she may have, and for her to never contact me again, and I will see her in court as necessary. Once we go to court, we can figure out how to handle the dogs, and the house.

I don't want my old job back.

I'm happy not working there anymore. I have two possible jobs lined up where i'm going.

I'm trying to decide if I still want to go there or not. It's going to be a hard decision as I wanted to go there, not just because she was going there. We decided last year, it's where we wanted to be.

I don't feel the need to bring anyone else into this. Besides OM's mother, I've contacted WW's aunt, and best friend. I have the support of WW's mother - she agrees, I do not deserve to be abused like this from WW. WW's aunt also feels the same way and they have been supportive to me and my feelings.

WW is trying to apologize for her actions. She has told me she is sorry that she hurt my feelings. She said that she even looked into booking a vacation in Mexico (at the resort we were married at) and while she did it, OM was by her side. She is saying that it's a shame that I am giving up on going to counseling. She thought that was the route we were taking to resolve this issue. I told her that she went way beyond what help counseling could provide and that I will never be able to trust her ever again, so I am going the divorce route.

I don't buy it, obviously, but she is now realizing what she has done and seeing the implications of her behavior.

Does anyone know who I can contact regarding an intermediary of sorts? I don't want to talk with her anymore and would like to hire someone to handle any communication between the two of us, if that's possible.

I just let my attorney handle it all.

I didn't pay for any of her expenses, not even the house.

Pay ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that you don't have your name on.

NOTHING, until ordered by a judge when the LSA comes about and that'll take months if you play it right.

Yes, a lawyer.

the AIRLINES gave you his flight information????

There's a giant pile heading towards a fan.

I'm sorry you're going through this. But you're young enough to recover.

It will hurt a lot, but you will get past this.

Any response or confrontation with WW?

I thought I'd share with you the story of a man I greatly respect. He was a colonel in the Air Force and had a tremendous amount of power because he was THE number 2 guy in the inspector general's office. In other words, other officers of all ranks shook a little bit and perked up when they knew he was coming around.

He called me a few months ago because he saw I was no longer a pilot and flying in the AF. I explained what happened to me and he told me his story.

He had a WW. This WW was messing with a friend of his. He discoverd this and kicked her to the curb faster than you can say divorce.

He didn't see her again for almost a year. He saw her when they were going to sign their D papers and told me that she had gained tons and tons of weight while they were separated.

He had his final words to her, which weren't too kind, in court that day and he's never looked back with regret.

I know it isn't that easy, but you seem to have a very strict boundary she's crossed and there's no looking back now that she's crossed it.

I applaud you for being strong. I grive for you for the suffering I know you're feeling.

Keep your chin up.

Yes, I obtained his flight information by calling the airlines.

Was pretty simple really. Took about 5 minutes.

Really?
What did you ask/say to the airline?

First, I went through all the computer stuff (automated response system)... Spelled OM's name, said where I was departing from, and where I was going. Just took a gamble that he was leaving there today.

It found a few reservations with his last name, so it asked the first name. Then, I got kicked to a live person.

I said "Hi, I've lost my confirmation number, I was just wondering if you could give it to me."

She asked my name, so I gave his, and asked if I knew what time my flight left. I told her it was leaving in a couple of hours, and I just wanted to double check.

She then gave me the confirmation number and said the flight actually was leaving at 3:00 or so.

I said thank you, and was able to look online to see when he flew down there, and when he was really coming back.

The only things they asked me were: name, departure city, arrival city... No questions about SSN, or anything I didn't already know. I was pretty surprised myself.

I had thought about calling the airport, to page him, and see if he would pick up a page, but this was much easier.

HA HA! So much for "Homeland Security!" This is why I don't fly.

Sorry about all this mess, BH. If you need any other evidence for your D I'm sure my PI friend would be happy to help you out.

Charlotte

BH75,
So sorry you had to find out the truth in this manner, but I can't say I'm shocked that this was indeed going to happen. When a WS refuses to give up ALL CONTACT FOREVER AND FOR LIFE, you can rest assured that the A is still ongoing and they are just going to hide it more deeply.

This why many us us kept harping about NC, and that even a "little" was not acceptable!

Seems she just plotted to just postpone her "camping trip" with OM to a different weekend.

Cancel that cellphone account ASAP. Do not pay for anything that in any way enables her ability to carry on this A in your face.

GET A REAL BULLDOG FOR A LAWYER!

All Blessings,
Jerry

Yep.


Yep.


Yep!!!!

I just want to commend you for the diligence in your efforts. You are an intelligent man. You've done a great job at gathering your intel.

DANG !

What do you mean when you say you are paying for "the apartment"? Are you saying you are paying her rent? I would see a lawyer. Do not make any promises to her regarding what you are going to pay or not pay. Don't talk to her about this stuff, especially right now. In fact, just don't talk to her about this stuff.

Talk to your lawyer.

Are you sure you want that info on here about how you got that other information??? Has WW been to this site?

Have you rented that apartment that is 5 minutes from her place?? Have you put down a deposit or anything yet? Might want to think about that... you need some breathing space before you decide if you are going to live that close to her.

Did I say I was paying for her apartment?

If so, it was a mistake, I'm not paying for anyone's apartment.

Actually, I sent the deposit for my place the other day... Check's in the mail as they say, and the "check" was a money order...

I have a lot of thinking to do. If I have to eat the first month's rent in a place I never live in, so be it. That's the price to pay I suppose.

I told her today that I am not paying for any of the bills that don't have my name on them. I am continuing to pay for the house. Should I charge her half? I am also paying for the furniture that's in our name (of which, it is ALL in my possession at this point).

Other than that, we have no other joint accounts.

bh, did you have an intermediary? Have you talked to this person? Since you told WW to never contact you again, I admit I'm just curious how big of an 'oh sh*t' moment she had. (Sorry, don't mean to be insensitive)

fwiw, I think living in Texas is better than living just about anywhere, especially if you'll be up in the Austin, even Dallas, area. Better cost of living, better weather, prettier girls...

Oh please don't move anywhere close to this woman. Yes, you can move to Texas, but it's a big place. Please choose another town!

I have to admit I was worried when people were recommending you moving down to be near her. I never saw any indication that she was ready to act like a married woman.

You are in a painful spot, and I feel for you, but thank God you don't have to sort through this mess with children in the mix. (Please tell me there's no chance she's pregnant.)

How old is your soon to be ex-wife? She acts like a teenager. What did you see in her (internally) when you married her?

BH,

First, I applaud you in that very brilliant "social engineering" that you pulled off. Awesome stuff, but it made me cringe a bit as a former IT security guy. It reminded me of the former hacker tricks like, "I'm with the IT department and we're checking the security of users passwords. Can you give us yours so we can check the security against the criteria?"

Or better yet, "I'm Joe Schmoe from Nigeria and our family picked you to hold $5 million in an account if you can help us?"

Stuff like that.

Don't worry about things like house payments. That all comes out in the divorce. She is liable for half the marital debt. So keep making the payments and don't charge her anything because it will all come out in the wash anyways.

Stay strong and ditch this cheating wretch.

Nothing irritates me more than an unrepentant adulterer man or woman.

I like seeing those that do come here and work to earn that F in WW or WH. I have tremendous respect for them and the effort they're willing to make.