|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717 |
Now that's an interesting observation, ba109.
What ARE the Rules of the System, where do members find them to know what the system HAS established as the rules to be followed by all members?
We keep hearing and even sometimes using the phrase, "TOS," but what are they and where are they for members to know what has been established as the rules concerning posting? Revera, if this is considered perpetuation of a locked thread(s)I understand if you lock this one also. It would be nice if the TOS could be "sticky" posted at the top of each board for ready reference. I believe the only way the TOS is currently observed is when a new poster attempts to register. After that it pretty much has to be committed to memory.
ba109
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920 |
Thank you, Ba109! I have contacted Justuss and requested that the TOS be posted on the board so we can refer to it after we sign up. Thanks for posting that link. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920 |
Justuss has posted the TOS in the Announcements forum for easy access: TOS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717 |
Thanks Revera...and Justuss. 
ba109
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
You know what I'd find helpful? A list of the words I can't use. For example, I know the f word is out. But apparently so is H*ll which seems a shame when it comes up in discussion. Sh*t probably is out, but is cr*ap?
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602 |
Revera, if this is considered perpetuation of a locked thread(s)I understand if you lock this one also. Call me confused, are there other rules elsewhere because I just now re-read the TOS and do not see anything about perpetuating locked threads being a violation? Did I miss something? LC
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 920 |
lc, we don't allow perpetuation of a fight/discussion from a locked thread; that would be bypassing a mod's lock and goes without saying, IMO. Greengables, I agree that would be handy to have. I will pass on the word and see if we can get it.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
Administrator Member
|
|
Administrator Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816 |
No, you didn't miss it.
Some things were not included on the TOS because they seemed to be COMMON SENSE.
However, if need be, they can be added.
JustUss
Administrator/Moderator
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,602 |
No, you didn't miss it.
Some things were not included on the TOS because they seemed to be COMMON SENSE.
However, if need be, they can be added. IMO, it would be a great idea to add them. I belong to a few other boards and ALL TOS are spelled out very clearly, common sense or not. It would be wise to have them listed especially on a board that deals with such emotional issues, (ie infidelity) How many people "lose" their common sense after finding out they have been cheated on because of all the stress? It just makes sense to list ALL the rules. I find it odd that only some of the rules are listed in the first place. Just my 2 cents. LC
Last edited by lifeschoice; 07/23/08 07:21 PM. Reason: to add a thought
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
I think it is obvious that starting a new thread to continue a fight is very disrespectful to the mods.
Also slamming the mods is likewise disrespectful.
Do we really need to have those obvious issues of GOOD MANNERS documented in the TOS?
On the rare occasion I have not understood a mods edit of one of my posts I have contacted that mod directly for an explanation. The mod then always responds to my concerns with an explanation.
This is common sense and doesn't have to be hard.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107 |
I belong to a few other boards and ALL TOS are spelled out very clearly, common sense or not. Hi LC ! Could you point me at an example of the more comprehensive Terms of use that you refer to ? I think most forums I use have even more general TOUs than MB does ! Thanks !
MB Alumni
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537 |
lc, we don't allow perpetuation of a fight/discussion from a locked thread; that would be bypassing a mod's lock and goes without saying, IMO. So trying to knock some sense into a blatantly wayward adulterer with a well intentioned 2x4 is fighting?... Are you kidding me?!? Have any of you "Mods" ever been affected by adultery? I'm guessing not or your perception would be markedly different. I WISH my FWW had come here months earlier and been clubbed by the same 2x4 that was being swung yesterday at "Cinfla". Perhaps it would have helped. I know it has in the past. Good grief, Mods. How the HE!! are you supposed to Build a Marriage if the Adultery cannot be attacked and exposed for what it is? Give me a Friggin' break!
BH(me): 40ish
FWW:(ILMH) 28yo
DS 3yo
Married 7yrs
Together 10 yrs
??? Spring '07 - Adultery Begins
8/25/07 - 1st D-day (week of our anniv.)
8/07 thru 5/08 - About a dozen D-days/Gaslighting/Flaunting/Fake Recoveries
She finally quit on...
1/1/08 - First real NC attempt(Maybe?)
3/1/08 - Told me OM is an A**hole.(Hope?)
5/3/08 - D-day (Admitted to PA once)
5/4/08 - Latest D-day(Finally confessed to multiple EA/PA in our home)
5/8/08 - Present
Struggling to hold on
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 537 |
Ps - Sorry if my above post is disrespectful, but it's how I feel...
BH(me): 40ish
FWW:(ILMH) 28yo
DS 3yo
Married 7yrs
Together 10 yrs
??? Spring '07 - Adultery Begins
8/25/07 - 1st D-day (week of our anniv.)
8/07 thru 5/08 - About a dozen D-days/Gaslighting/Flaunting/Fake Recoveries
She finally quit on...
1/1/08 - First real NC attempt(Maybe?)
3/1/08 - Told me OM is an A**hole.(Hope?)
5/3/08 - D-day (Admitted to PA once)
5/4/08 - Latest D-day(Finally confessed to multiple EA/PA in our home)
5/8/08 - Present
Struggling to hold on
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717 |
Good grief, Mods. How the HE!! are you supposed to Build a Marriage if the Adultery cannot be attacked and exposed for what it is? Why do you feel it is your responsibility to rebuild marriages on these boards? That is a job for the professionals of Marriage Builders.
ba109
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
TTH...Yes, the mods have been touched by adultery for sure.
You do what you feel is best and swing when you need to...the mods will step in an do what they need to do in order to keep some peace around here.
Find aggressive and unwavering ways to attack adultery...and to help build marriages in a manner that gets your point across...and doesn't require a mod edit.
Keep up the good work and don't let people discourage you from posting as you see fit.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652 |
IMHO it is obvious that, if a thread is locked for some type of behavior or argument, that another thread shouldn't be restarted that has exactly the same behavior or argument. Although this is not always followed, no one should be surprised when the spin-off thread is also locked.
Perhaps confusion arises, though, when a poster on a locked thread was asked questions and they just want to address those questions without re-starting the original argument? Maybe lines need to be drawn regarding what is and is not acceptable to address from locked threads in a spin-off thread?
I'm not thinking of any incident in particular. I've been traveling too much and online too little to even know what incident triggered this particular thread. Just my opinion of what might need to be spelled out w.r.t. restarting locked threads.
me - 47  H - 39  married 2001 DS 8a  DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy: (Why is DS7b now a blockhead???) (Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717 |
quote posted out of context.
"Find...ways ...that gets your point across...and doesn't require a mod edit. "
Seems pretty simple doesn't it?
ba109
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044 |
if it works for you...go for it.
As for others...well, we all don't need to be you, now do we?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
TTH...Yes, the mods have been touched by adultery for sure. How do you know "for sure" if you're not a mod? And, since mods aren't beholdin' 2 this particular line in the TOS: "You agree not to create multiple usernames for deceptive purposes." But maybe the mods are all new, and don't have multiple identities here? No disrespect intended. Just curious. -ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 526
Moderator Member
|
|
Moderator Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 526 |
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
171
guests, and
73
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,490
Members71,963
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
