The response I was typing to ConfusedInFla but didn't get to post because the thread was locked (censored):

"THE TIMES THAT THE OM AND I HAVE SPENT TOGETHER HAVE BEEN NO WHERE NEAR EITHER OF OUR HOUSES OR FAMILIES.. NEVER AT MY HOUSE OR HIS... NO WHERE WHERE MY KIDS OR HIS COULD SEE ANYTHING OR PICK UP ON ANYTHING."

Like where? In a seedy motel or the backseat of his car?
Let me clear up some of your 'confusion' for you:
He isn't going to leave his wife for you, and he isn't going to be seen in public with you, because you are just some sex on the side for him.

And come off it already, unless the two of you hop on separate planes, then check into a motel far away where nobody from your hometown might spot you, before you crawl into bed together... you WILL be found out in your small town, the word WILL get around, and your adultery WILL come to the attention of your kids.

"THAT'S JUST WRONG ON SO MANY DIFFRENT LEVELS THAN AN AFFAIR."

Adultry itself is wrong.

Stop trying to petend that there's no possible way that your kids will find out and/or that when they find out it won't negatively affect them in the least.

The only reason you're pretending your kids can't possibly find out, and that even if they somehow did, it would still be OK, is because you care more about protecting the adultery than you do about protecting your kids. It REALLY UPSETS YOU TO HAVE THAT FACT THROWN IN YOUR FACE DOESN'T IT? YOU REALLY WANT US TO GIVE OUR BLESSING TO YOUR ADULTERY AND PRETEND IT's POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO BE AN ADULTERESS AND A GOOD MOMMY AT THE SAME TIME DON'T YOU?

What is your plan for when your kids find out?
Are you going to tell your children that their feelings are wrong (BUT yours of course are 'right')?
Are you going to pretend that your BS 'brainwashed' them into objecting to your adultery?
Are you going to pretend that any problems they develop of course have no connection to the fact that one of their parents is a lying, cheating, home-wrecker?
In other words, will you continue to put your sexual fun with somebody else's husband above the welfare of your own children?

Grow up.

I see that you've been here before and that you were pretending you were not involved in adultery. (I don't post here regularly but your name does sound familiar.) Did you really think we were going to give you an 'atta girl' for scr3wing a married man?

Sheesh - you could have least come up with some better excuses than the same old fog-babble you waywards always spew. Did you learn nothing when you were here before?"

PS: If the active adulterers are not going to be banned then please allow us to challenge them for the sake of their BS's and BC (Betrayed Children). The 2x4ing of active unrepentent adulterers isn't the problem here, never was, the CODDLING of adulterers is. IMHO locking a thread where all but one of the posters were speaking the truth to the adulteress isn't exactly anti-adultery...

HERE HERE, MERE!!!

meremortal, all attack fests and promotion of affairs are likely to get censored. That is our job.

If you want to change the title of this thread and start off on a different foot, we can leave this thread open as long as folks keep it RESPECTFUL AND PRODUCTIVE.

**EDIT**

What's hu got to say? I missed it.

He mentioned another board. I would say he's talking about SI.

Oh. What's your name over there Hu?...I'm interested to see how much progress you have made.

They didn't care for me over there...especially shortly after my d-day.

I was permanently banned.

Me too....

**EDIT**

Contact me directly, please.

You've come a LONG way since then Intro.

I have NEVER seen adultery enabled on MB in ALL my time here. I have seen an increase in moderation which is a good thing.

I know it's hard to bite your tongue (trust me, I know), but how about we all just don't reply to WS's that are activley in affairs? Then they will leave...I know I would.

In fact why not start a thread where we can all give ideas on how we (as a group) should handle that situation.

I think that if that sitch arises, the only response that person should get is something like...

" We in the MB forum will not discuss recovery with someone currently angaged in an affair. We would like to recommend that you stop the affair, go NC, then return for advice and support. In the mean time we would like to help your WS in his/her time of need, so would you be so gracious as to guide him/her to us "

Somebody with a better gift for writing should write it up though...but something like that.

Folks, you are free to respond to WS's just as you are to BS', but personal attacks will not be tolerated. From anyone.

Nor is this the right place to promote adultery, which was the main issue, IMO. This is Marriage Builders, not affair builders.

Appreciate your cooperation.

"Nor is this the right place to promote adultery"



Think I missed this part of the thread. I failed to see anyone doing this.

"I have NEVER seen adultery enabled on MB in ALL my time here. I have seen an increase in moderation which is a good thing."

I don't appreciate your intrusion into my thread Kiwi.
Go chat with your pals abou your alternate site elsewhere.

My children were GREATLY harmed by my WH and his OW putting their own lust above concern for the children.

*edit*

I refuse to argue with you about your pretense that adulterers are never suported here.

If you want to pretend that go pretend it in your own threads.
Your presence in my thread is HIGHLY offensive to me and not exactly supportive of me and what *I* want to hear. Isn't it against the rules now to challenge another posters POV?

(oops I forgot - I'm not an adulterer - me an my chidlren don't get the special concern/treatment do we?)

Hu7668,


Since I saw what was posted let me just give my .02 cents.

Ok, so let me get this straight. You are going to complain about the gentle 2X4's you received here. Why don't you cry us a river you poor thing. How dare people point out the fact that you are acting like a despicable human being right now. So full of your own chit that your ears stink. What's the matter did the truth hurt your feelings? What you received here is NOTHING compared to the misery YOU have inflicted on your wife. Have you even had enough b@lls to confess to her yet? Let me guess......NO! You have showed a complete lack of character since you arrived here so why would any of that change. It is all about YOU after all isn't it. So before you start throwing your judgmental crap around here why don't you consider MANNING UP and telling your wife about the knife YOU planted firmly in the middle of her back.

Want2Stay

**EDIT**

I joined a private OW group and lurked as long as I could to learn about how OW's operate. One of the things I learned was that they messed with boards such as this one. Just one of the things they would do is bait people into AO's so that threads would be shut down as a result. And, yes, they laughed about it afterward. Several were members of this very board....with a pretty high post count. They used different accounts when playing their games.

What we, as a board, can do is follow the TOS even when we decide to post to a Wayward or someone who we suspect might be a Troll. We can respect that different posters have different deliveries and leave it up to each person to decide for themselves whether to stay or leave and whether to post back or not.

It's my understanding that the problem is challenging an active Wayward in a disrespectful manner such as name calling and bullying. There are ways to challenge a Wayward without using those tactics (not saying you personally, just in general). I've seen it done on different boards and it seems to have the effect of getting to the real issues a lot faster and more effectively. It seems that Waywards who show up just to stir the pot leave rather quickly too.

There is a difference, imho, between coddling (which I am against) and making someone feel comfortable being here by treating them in a respectful manner while sharing a different perspective in regard to painful issues.

I have recently come back to the board after another long absence so if I am misunderstanding the issue, please set me straight.

Take care meremortal.


ETA: I'm slow so many posts have been added to this thread and my post might already be obsolete. If so, please disregard.

Oh I guess hearing the truth about how you folks are nothing but a bunch of bullies hit a nerve huh?

Cry me a river your excuse of the "gentle 2x4" is nothing but justification to dish out abuse. A BS has every right to dish out abuse to the WS but NONE of you have the same rights.

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This MARRIAGE BUILDING forum is privately owned. You are a guest here. Please act accordingly.

c00per