I discovered that your thread was locked when I went to post a response to what you said in parentheses in your last post.

I remember feeling like you wrote that you do now and I posted a response about that. I hope you don't mind that I'm putting it here (I think it's not restarting a locked thread but I'm not totally sure about that because I can't figure out why your thread was locked after the last post on it.)


I remember feeling similar to that, meremortal. In fact, I seriously considered having my own affair so that I could "recover" from that side of the infidelity mess and get the special concern/treatment too. I remember being furious that a Wayward got pages and pages of kudos for not making one freaking phone call that would break NC while the standard seemed much higher for Betrayeds struggling to make their necessary changes in the midst of their pain. It didn't seem fair at all.

I later came to believe that it looked that way to me because of the tremendous amount of pain I was in. I also had a bad case of BS Fog for quite a while. And I was angry when I saw a Wayward show up who wasn't my Wayward. I was probably jealous but all I remember now is the anger.

When I couldn't handle reading the Wayward threads, I didn't. There came a point in my recovery that it became helpful to me to read those threads and to post sometimes too. So, meremortal, I encourage you to do what is best for you now.

I remember wanting to grab people through my computer screen when they said this, but I'm going to say it to you because it's true. It gets better with time. Sometimes it takes lots of time. But it does get better.

It gets better as we get better.

Take care meremortal