Pretty_face,

He said if he tried it would be for the boys and he knows that is the wrong reason. His excuses for ending it are..
* we'd just go back to the way things are now because that is our nature and you can't change your nature. Things might improve, for years even, but eventually it will go bad again.
* He has closed the door on it and wants to move on, he knows in his heart that it can't be fixed.

Yes, he says his sons are the most important thing to him.. but he calls them maybe every few days and has not seen them for going on 3 weeks now.. he always has an excuse. He's taken vacation time to get off a couple of Fridays, so he can go to his friend's hangout.

He doesn't want to go out with me or do anything together. He has started including me in the business we started again after I said it seems he was cutting me out of it. He can talk nice with me about business things, but doesn't really discuss anything else.

I hate emotional days, they leave me feeling so tired and drained.

He called me today because he wants us to get together and discuss the financial issues we are having. We currently can't pay the mortgage... it is actually in his stepmother's name and we are supposed to pay her. Anyway, he asked his mom if me and the boys could live with her until I could get on my feet - if it came to that.

How am I sposed to show him how good it could be when we always have to talk about negative things? I was stupid and had to say "I miss you" at the end of the call.

Now on thinking about it, I guess that this will be his way of getting out from under the financial responsibility of the house and bills of the house. Get me out and living with his mom, then he can have more money for his new lifestyle. He says he is trying to get more money, maybe a second job - but I feel he might be saying that just to appease me for the moment.

I just want to scream and yell at him. I am fighting the urge to drive over to his dad's house (where he is currently living) and just let him have it. As though that would shake him from the fog. I know it won't. I just feel so helpless - losing everything and I can't do anything about it.

I'm so tired of the lies he is telling to me and to others (about me).

Hi, I just read your thread. I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he associates you with responsibility and he wants to be free of responsibility. It is very selfish and immature of him considering he has created a family with you and those responsibilities just don't evaporate.
I think you need to see an attorney about you and your children's rights. Since he has left, the law will still have something to say about what his provision for his family needs to be and an attorney can advise you about this. Also, you need to find out what rights, if any, you have with regards to your home. It may be complicated since it's not in your name, but you have been living there and paying her. Please find out what your options are so you can be in a better place to make a decision. Just because he wants to avoid responsibility and go have fun doesn't necessarily mean he can!
If you still want to save your marriage, your best bet would be to make it look more appealing than the alternative...and by the time the law would be done with him (ordering support, settlement), that may take care of that for you!
Once you get his attention financially, perhaps then you'll be in a better position to have him reconsider making a go of it. Good luck!