It's just been a tough couple of weeks. My body is really weary. I'm sleepy all day long. I don't know if it's Lyme's Disease or some hormonal thing, allergies, or just stress. Could be a little of all of the above. I woke up this morning, and I was sleepy, after 9 hours of sleep. Going to the doc on Tuesday, just to update her on some things, talk about meds and this whole tired thing. Probably have a metabolic panel drawn to see how things are ticking internally, make sure I'm not borderline anemic. I'll ask her about VitB deficiency, too.

For the record, I am DONE with the Zombie, any thoughts I post here are just that, thoughts. I take some of the blame for this going on for as long as it has. I wanted so badly to believe that the Z was NOT this changed person, that this was a temporary state, and that we could get back together, and work it all out.

This last go round, I was tired and too hopeful that HE would step up. If I was rejected, I withdrew. I was rejected over and over again. I withdrew more and more, only making efforts where I had not been rejected as of yet. Basically, the window of opportunity dwindled until I was unwilling to do anything anymore. I was worn out, and was screaming UNCLE!

I've come to realize, though, that if the Zombie had really wanted his marriage, he would have participated. As it stood, IMO, he never completed withdrawal, because he switched his poison.

Oh, whatever. I get tired of hearing myself think (ROLLEY EYE)

We love you, Miss Lucidity.

I don't have much to add. Hope you can figure some things out medically. The old TIREDNESS is tough. With that comes a lack of motivation and eventually caring about what happens gets lost too.

As you know, these things don't improve by themselves. I'm glad to hear you are going to the doc.

Fox

Well, I also need to just get off my patoot and start exercising; seems like every time I start an exercise regimen, something fails me, like this time around, my low back went out. I plan on getting some work done around the house this weekend and cleaning up, so I'll see how that goes.

I wish I could take a mini-vaca to the beach.

Hi SL,


Sounds like a good plan to balance out the 'down' time....


This is not totally out of reach!

...don't you have a pool? ...and with a bit of imagination and some sound effects... (waves, whales and dolphins).... a little drink on the side.... the sun.... the stillness...

...because it's where I GO to escape....when I am in the.... dentist's chair...LOL! ...it's the honest of G-d truth! I have had to go a few times....and it's how I survived the numerous visits...LOL!

....Ohhh....dear old imagination.... only one thought away.... and it doesn't cost a....cent!

SL,

I swear if I could take your pain from you and help you I would. But we can't can we, we just get to keep walking through it.

When we don't feel good physically it hits us in other areas which brings us down more. As you have said to me over and over, learning to take care of ourself is so important, but what if we don't know how to do that, or just are too tired.

I'm sorry you are down, probably its just part of the process. People assure me that this will be over. We don't know when and we don't know how we get through it, we just know that today is all we have to deal with.

So for today, you are in my prayers that you are feeling better and things are doing a little better.

{{{{{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}}}}

hey SL,
just wanted to say the links to yuor threads are broken
I wanna see
lil

Hi SL,

Hope you feel better. This whole thing is hard on all of us. The stress can cause lots of physical ailments I believe. I think that all of us in this position are just plain worn out.

Try to take care of you. I know, easier said than done...

Hey LilD. I'll work on those this weekend. I'm so lazy

Chai, thanks bunhes, lady. I'll do my best. I think the weekend of work ahead will help me to refocus on me, believe it or not. I feel so centered when my mind it busy thinking about shaping this hedge or mowing on this line, keeping it clean (even though the front yard is dry and some turns envelope me in a poof of dry dirt). I love the hard work. I feel accomplished when I look at the gardens, and they are so pwetty.

Have fun in the garden. I don't love the gardening as much as I love doing things in the house. WH was very handy, and we did a lot of remodeling work together so I really miss that. I have several rooms left to paint and decorate, but I've had trouble getting into doing it alone.

Hi SL & CL,


Chai....took words right out of my mouth... I also struggle sometimes with my 'new reality' of doing things...ALONE!

...but as BR would say: it is what it is!

...and I agree with Chai.... the stress of our situation can easily show up in physical ailments...or certainly aggravate them.

So, take care, SL!

SL,

just wanted to pop in real quick. Nothing really to say. You've had a rough week. I've been busier than usual at work so I've done more lurking than posting.

Just wanted you to know I'm here.

Hoping next week's better.

Have a good weekend

(((SL))) I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I'm very glad to hear you're going to the doc and get checked out. Always good to rule out any physical ailments.

I hear ya on the 'tiredness'. My doc told me when people go thru life crisis' this uses ALL of you and it takes time, sometimes a LONG time, to recover. I hope you are just battle weary and nothing more severe.

Take care!

SL,

Just was thinking about you and thought I'd check in to see how you are doing?

When is your dr appt?

As everyone has said, all of this takes a toll. My mom & I were just talking about this in regards to what we went through with Dad this week. It's taken a toll on us ALL and we all need to be aware of it and take the necessary steps to care for ourselves as much as for him.

I wish I had some great magical advice to boost you up fast. Alas, it just doesn't work that way, does it? I have found, though, that in many of these dark moments, if I merely take some serious DOWN time to work through the emotion vs fighting the emotion, it opens me up to seeing the GOOD things in my life and then allowing them to boost me back up.

Take care and let us know how you are doing!

{{{SL}}}

Thanks to all for dropping in with your kind words.

I'm still just doing OK. Having some strange dizziness today, and some twinges in my neck, felt mostly while I was mopping. I got the house as clean as possible. My vacuum broke, so I have to look into a new one. The house gets furry when I go too long without.

Anyway, Doc visit is Tuesday. I just want to rule out that there is something going on metabollically. I'm sure that stress has a hand in this, too, so I am trying to work slowly, get stuff done and relax. I still have to mow, and the flower beds are SCARY :eek:. Grocery shopping has to occur sometime today, too. I can split tasks up between today and tomorrow.

The Zombie is contacting local appraisers to get a more accurate number on the value of the house. I'll go from there. Until then, I will not be thinking on this anymore. HE's coming to gather his things next week.

OMG!! My thoughts exactly, SL. and quite often.

Only when I am very, very busy do I not think about the above.

((((((SL))))))

Hi SL,

How are you feeling today?

Hi Luna,

I'm holding up. I worked my heiney off this weekend (wish I worked my mid section off--meh, diet season is just around the corner).

I mowed the lawn, cleaned up my gardens in front of the house (lotsa creeping grass and stoopid trumpet vineage), I cleaned the house, did all the laundry, vacuumed and cleaned the pool and hemmed one of my dresses, to make it knee length.

When DS came home, we went for a swim, watched a little Ninja Warrior (on G4 network) and had some dinner.

I'm not obsessing about the house thingy. I suspect the house will appraise too high for me to buy the Zombie out, and he doesn't sound like he has much interest in me staying there without recouping his equity right away. So, it seems we may either be selling or he will be buying me out. I took a little time to look at local places, but everything is so high right now.

If I move, I would like it to be a more permanent solution, so that DS does not have to deal with changing schools over and over again.

This is such a boneheaded move. I just gotta roll with it.

I don't know the value of the house yet, so it's all just speculation.

Hi SL,

Given all that you have on your 'plate' to deal with...and faced with some major future uncertainties...

I think you are doing just GREAT!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((SL))))))))))))))))))

SL,

I'm with Luna. Your plate is full and you are becoming a master at cutting the meat without shoving everything else off the plate. KWIM?

Take a dip in that pool for me. It's back up in the 90's today here and all I've got is a bird bath.

Fox

{{{{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}}}

As creatures it seems the one thing we instinctively don't like is change. And yet that's what happens in our daily lives constantly.

Do we get better at getting used to them. I don't have the answer. I'm still trying to change.

But I do no we get through them as you always do and will continue to do so.

The loss of this house or the turmoil, drama around what's happening is a LOT to take in. But then you add in it's a HOME that goes a little deeper and has its own process of grieving. Moving is ANOTHER ONE of the most stressful things in life that we go through under the most NORMAL set of circumstances.

Luna is always so good about getting us to identify out feelings so we can walk through them, but that's hard and it SUCKS.

You are doing awesome, not to mention have to much on your plate. Can you just be good to yourself today?