yes, really. To me it is the same as the C word. No difference...except for the gender it describes.

Then again, I am a dad that has NEVER cursed in front of his kid. Perhaps I just have a different tolerance for profanity.

I voiced my view, the mods made a decision. It shouldn't be too hard to abide by.

Either you are the owner that runs this site, in disguise, or you are the only man I know that is offended by that word.

I understand the "C" word, but the "D" word is used all the time...probably more in a joking sense than an insulting sense...unlike "C".

I'm surprised by your reaction....but, to each his own.

edit: Thanks for the T/J. Maybe if we can stop disecting every "borderline" curse word and making an issue about it, we can continue an adult-esque conversation...ABOUT SEX !!!!!

I understand where you are coming from.

The hypocrisy of one of those words vs. the other makes no sense to me though. I can tell you that I know a lot of men that would be offended by the use of that word in this setting.

sheesh, how sheltered am I? I cannot figure out what the D and C words are.

Can I have a hint? (Without violating TOS, I mean).

Starts with a D...

See my edit. I'm done with this silliness.

***Ahem***

This matter has been decided. There is no need for further discussion about it. Either continue to discuss the topic of the thread without the use of profanity or the thread will have to be locked.

Thank you for your cooperation.

***edit***

I have a hard time believing this. Of course, no woman who loves a man is going to tell him it's not big enough, as it's going to hurt his confidence and there is pretty much nothing he can do about it. That being said, my understanding is that size isn't everything, and could maybe be a hindrince in some positions. Without getting too graphic, arent't there certain places on the inside that are more sensitive then others, and bring more pleasure? I would think with more size, your chances of hitting that, and maybe serveral spots at the same time, is higher. But with a not so big size, you can still get it from the right angle. Does that make sense? And aren't some women more turned on by touching on the outside then on the inside?

From what I've heard too, some women don't like it too big as it can be painful. Maybe it's more a factor of just fitting right? Maybe it also has to do with preference?

In some ways it's best to for guys to not even worry about it, since we don't have much control. It's not like implants are available or anything. I would think the downside is that if a woman has a definite size preference, she probably won't know her loved ones size until she's already committed.

good post Mrs. W.

Thanks medc...I figured it was gonna get lost in all the "shuffle"...hopefully it may help someone...

Mrs. W

Not lost in the shuffle....I read it. Thanks for the great post.

This is very close to my experience. Sounds like same OM even. Her excruciatingly frank descriptions of their decade of hot sex in exotic cities all over the world shut down my libido entirely.

Neither FWW nor I knew much about sex before our wedding night. I was proud we were doing very well. She was happy. She told me so. Never once was I not making love, not once just having sex.

It was very painful to hear her say she felt raped when we had sex, after she met OM of course. Sure was shocking news to me. He was the brutal S&M guy. I remember seeing bruises on her every once in a while she would not discuss.

Like your wife she also changed her tune later when she wanted to reconcile. He suddenly wasn’t so good. Yeah right. Like now I should believe her. Right.

I am still in this place. Years later.

My self esteem has recovered nicely. Just not my libido.

She keeps score? This was a left handed compliment indeed.

In my experience, adulterers are of a class of liars such that they can say almost anything and maybe even believe it themselves. No matter what they say about comparing, they in fact do. I mean, come on – would you somehow not remember who was better? Would you tell your current partner someone else was better? Oh, wait, yeah, they already did tell us that.

I got the same. Likely just another lie.

And as usual, I completely agree with Mrs W. It was my experience also. The build up and "we're doing something we shouldn't do" aspect makes it seem way better than it really is...then when it doesn't compare to the marital intimacy, the WS begins lying to his/herself over and over to validate and perpetuate the fantasy. This aspect of it must be the toughest part to overcome for the BS, but really, it is usually nothing like the BS pictures. For that matter it is nothing like the WS pictures, either! Like all other aspects of a PA, when the reality of the situation hits the WS, it is disgusting to think about.

W2S had very little trouble overcoming this as well (as far as "performance" goes---his brain is a completely different story, however). He has always been confidant about his sexuality and still is...

This issue really has to make its way through the pain and find it way back to self-confidance. While the A may temporarily shatter your self-esteem, finding it again will be so empowering for you guys. TAKE BACK WHAT WAS TAKEN FROM YOU!

I know...easy for me to say...I'll shut up now. lol.

It is not possible. I can never get back what Squid gave to OM. It stopped existing once she gave it away.

All that remains is the space it used to occupy.

Great posts from Mrs. W and Lala......it would be nice if a FWH would come in a chime in about this though.....


not2fun

I agree with Bob.

FWW didn't just give it to OM. She and he then spent considerable time and energy taking it apart, playing around with the pieces and throwing it away bit by bit.

It no longer exists.

Perhaps I might find something new to replace it with. Still looking.

But what was is no longer.

It is not possible to take it back.

I can only reiterate what Mrs W and LaLa have said.

The OM was very inexperienced, despite having been married for over 30 years. He was a prude. I had to bite my tongue to stop saying derogatory things about the SF, but sometimes they slipped out. The excitement came from the fact that it was forbidden and the attention I was getting.

My H reclaimed me the morning of d-day. D-day was at 3.00am. He has a great deal of self esteem and has never doubted his sexual ability. (I am trying not to speak for him but he did tell me this).

My H and I have shared just about every derivation of SF there is because we know each other intimately and we aren't afraid to be ourselves.

The thing that upset my H terribly was the emotional side of my A. He hated the fact that someone else had kissed me. He hated the fact that I had shared intimacy (not just sexual) with someone else.

My H is a very talented artist and one of the things he did to reclaim me was to paint me (a nude). It was a very bonding and intimate experience for both of us.

Our sex life didn't falter once after the A. Not once.

Go back and re-read that paragraph that sentence was found. Lala was talking about self-esteem......and yes YOU CAN TAKE IT BACK.....

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission"....Elenor Roosevelt

not2fun

TTIUWP

LOL, I can't work the letters out.