OW XBF committed suicide 4 days after EX and OW married due to the marriage.


History: OW moved XBF out the day before EX moved in on D-day (3/05). 2.5 years later (8/07) OW moved XBF back in and EX moved out (9/07) due to the drug use and affair by XBF and OW. 6 months later (3/08) OW kicked XBF out and EX asked OW to marry him. EX and OW married two weeks ago (wedding 7/19/08 XBF dead 7/23/08) OW is bawling all the time and is over whelmed with guilt per our daughter.

Karma? I don't really believe in it. I don't think this situation is all that complicated. Sounds to me like a bunch of really dysfunctional people whose choices have brought them to some fairly obvious conclusions. At least for one guy... I'd be real surprised to see the marriage between the X and the OW last given this kind of strain.

Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. For so long it seems like things go so well for people who make bad choices. Especially because those choices do so much collateral damage to everyone else. But time is the ultimate arbitrator and these kinds of dynamics can't be maintained indefinitely.

The X's choice to marry this woman, despite the objections of people like your DD, will haunt him. He's probably wracked with insecurity and doubt now seeing his newlywed wife in such grief over another man. These doubts will fester and grow and will help to speed the demise of the R.

Give your DD a place to land before the fallout hits, then pop some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Maybe a great opportunity to suggest that they both start getting some good counseling, which they should have done years ago.

I don't think of this as karma but rather as very tragic. That poor man - the BF - he probably felt very much like the BS's that come here. Yes, OW deserves the pain she's feeling now but the cost was too high. I feel like crying myself. There's a special place in h*11 for OW, of that I have no doubt.

what a way to start a marriage

I'm sorry this happened.
Looks like OW will need a long time to sort herself out.

What was it about her that attracted Ex?

I think it goes back to the old adage that she was lending the "sympathetic" ear when he and I were going through a tough time in our marriage. I've never cared enough to ask him though. They deserve each other and the crap they are dealing with.

Not knowing you or them, I still concur with you.

Thanks Booka.

Its a shame that her XBF took his life because of her/them. No one is worth THAT!

I don't think he took his life for either of them. That might have been his excuse and perhaps what he left in his departing note (if he had one), but I think people who commit suicide are trying to escape from their own issues.

Everyone here has seen the dissolution of a relationship that we once saw as special and forever. So far we've all managed not to eat a bowl of rat poison.

Maybe OW will now have go out and "find herself".

wouldn't surprise me Pariah

Sounds like she wasn't "over him" yet.
I hope their marriage wasn't one of convince.

It was a marriage out of annoyance....

HAWHAWHAW!!!

This is just tragic. Shows the extreme of selfish behavior, and the depth of pain inflicted in multiple-partner relationships.

I feel so deeply for the dead man's family. They probably advised him countless times to leave the woman, and knew how much the so-called relationship was tearing him apart.

I wonder if the man who "won" feels victorious now?

Trust me the man who "won" only won the "boobie" prize....chin hairs and all!

She is distraught with guilt and He is in denial that it had anything to do with the marriage.

I don't believe her XBF was very close to his immediate family (they all live in Florida and he lived here in Pennsylvania) He did have a son who is about 12 or 13 and they were quite close. I feel for his son. He's a good kid.

This is cruel.
She did not make him kill himself.
It was not her fault.
It is tragic this man had to end his life over something so trivial.
I hope his soul finds peace.
I hope she does not self destruct over another's very cruel selfish actions.