According to his description she (Rose) would be 81 years old.

Mr. G

Chrisner, I'm with ya.

I figure this lady is 71 or 72 years old.

How old are you Mycroft?

Thanks,

kirk

Yes, chrisner, to her first husband.

Although she didn't directly admit it to me, some of what she said in the first 3 years is telling. Her husband had a stroke when he was in his 30s. It left him permanently effected, although he can get around and appears normal. But she used his change as an excuse to start doing this, even before I was on the scene.

She would have married her first husband when she was 18 years old. She divorced when she was 48.

Mr. G

Mr. G

"According to his description she (Rose) would be 81 years old."

44-year-old married woman at work in 1981

She will be 71 this December. I will be 57 in October.

You have no idea how much I pray to the Lord for not only His forgiveness, but for a shortness of my days.

Mycroft,

"but for a shortness of my days."

You want to explain this one for us?

(sigh), once again, the story of the Scorpion and the Frog immediately comes to mind.

My advice: walk away from that mess as fast and as quietly as you can. That woman sounds like a real piece of work. Just be glad you didn't catch anything.

Opps, back to basic arthmatic for me... (spelling next)

krusht, is not the penalty for sin death? And lest anyone get the idea I'd attempt suicide, as I've told others, I'm too much of a coward. Besides, I know what the Lord thinks about that. I would, instead, pray that He will have mercy and forgive me my sins and take me soon to His final rest, if He finds me at any time prior to that occurence in Christ, covered by His blood.

I wish I could walk away. Part of her divorce filing is claim to spousal maintenance, and any other recompense as the court may decide. Since she has exceeded the 15-year permanency of marriage threshold for this state, she is entitled to 50% of everything, including my pay and retirement funds. Unfortunately, that doesn't amount to much. I have $13,000 in retirement and I only started earning $50,000 annually this year. For most of our time together, I was a substandard breadwinner, earning below $37,000 up until 2004. Consequently, our savings has been about $1,000, due to emergency needs like appliances, car repairs, and other assorted items.

MC,

This doesn't have to be your legacy. You can CHANGE your legacy. Will it be painful? Yes. Will it be worth it, most definitely.

You have many many years left to live. If you make a new start now, you can have an entirely new life. One that doesn't include stealing from others to further your desires and needs.

Make a decision to make a new start. Make it today. And things WILL look brighter each day you live it.

Have faith.
Jo

Volunteering to help others is always good for the soul.

You might consider posting here to active WS (wayward spouses) and tell them your story. How it so wasn't worth it.

It might help with your healing. Just an idea.

Jo

Yes, Resilient, I have heard the same suggestion of helping others from many around me. And if you think my posting to WS can help, then I'll try it. There are other things I can do, too, like get active in the church. And I think that perhaps returning to the church in which I originally had membership in 1981 when this all began will be the best direction. I've already made a contact. I just have to follow through.

I'll have to close out my current commitment to the church of which I'm currently a member. They are good people and they didn't ask for me to come their way, and I think they've been showing me God's love. But eliminating this blemish from their midst will probably help them.

The former church will have stern expectations of me, and rightly so. My heart must be thoroughly set straight before I approach them for their mercy. And I am ready to take the lowest spot in the congregation as a consequence of my actions, if they still find me useful.

But as for a life? That, without doubt, is entirely within the hands of God. I already know that I have not only squandered everything and every opportunity He has given me, but I have also profaned His name before believer and unbeliever alike, as demonstrated even in this forum. And I have abused His greatest institution: marriage. For that, the privilege has now been withdrawn.

All I have left is a desire for His unending grace, that He will still be able to make use of me in the time I have left, and that I may enter His rest when He deems the time has come.

Another of the regrets I have is that I came to truly love the children I came to know as "my grandchildren." The boy who is her grandson and I have been best buddys for 12 years. He's 14 years old, now. I wish I knew how to say goodbye to them. I will miss them greatly.

IMO, he is age appropriate to be told "why". He deserves the truth of why you've decided to leave his life. If you love him, I'm sure you don't want him stumbling through his adult life with unanswered questions why you left. And as one of his primary role models (as his step-grandfather) he can draw from this experience later in his life knowing adultery is wrong and has consequences.

Then hopefully he'll lead his life without making similar transgressions.

JMHO,
Jo

It would be better. But he is now not only not speaking to me, he avoids me as if I'm Satan incarnate. I guess I taught him well, because he's right. I will never see him or the twin granddaughters again. And I have to devise a way to make amends and apologize to the ex-husband and the 2 daughters. Perhaps I should wait until I talk to the leadership of the church I'm going to. But I'm certain they'll tell me that true repentance means I have no further contact with any of these or any of her family members, and she has 9 brothers and sisters, who also have grandchildren.

You can always write letters.

When people are angry they read the letter differently then when they read it years down the road. And most folks hang onto those type letters for whatever reason so they can be re-read.

Plus, I think you writing letters to them is good for you as well. Helps you sort it all out where places that you saw yourself as a victim, you now see yourself as an owner.

But do whatever your church leader suggests.

God Bless,
Jo

Just one question. Where do I find the Wayward Spouse forum?

"Wayward Spouses" do not have their own forum. Marriage Builders is a PRO-marriage site, so active-WS post on all the "Infidelity" boards. Which include:

- GQII (you're here now)
- Just Found Out
- Plan A / Plan B
- In Recovery
- Pregnancy/Child

They also occasionally post on the "Emotional Needs" board and the "Divorce/Divorcing" board.

Thanks, Resilient. I think I will also visit the lLiving Togehter Before Marriage forum, too.

Please forgive me if I missed something, but why do you have to cut them out of your life?

Our children are my step-children and there's no way in heck I'm divorcing them just because I have to divorce my husband.

So why are you "divorcing" them?

Charlotte