I agree. I have had many, many, many thoughts of exactly how to exact revenge on OM. Some I have posted here, some I have not. But, they are all very calculated, callous and meticulously planned out. Some even worse than the 22 year old daughter scenario that was posted. Will I act on them...probably not, but they are very real.

So, you have never had any contraversial thoughts on exacting revenge?

Don't [censored] on a guy because he posted his thoughts...HE HASN'T ACTED ON THEM.

People act on their thoughts when they stew on them without talking about it.

I'm in no way condoning sleeping with OM's 22 year old daughter, but people shoudn't be talked down to for what they are daydreaming about.

You think if Jeffrey Dahmer posted here that he was going to dice people up and put them in his freezer that he would have more of a chance of actually doing it or would talking about it release some of that anger? I think it would release some of the anger, personally.

introvert,

My point was the utilization of sex for any purpose other than love.

Of COURSE I AM NOT IN FAVOR OF AFFAIRS.

That is not in question. I had in fact considered putting in the words "between married adults" in my post, but I'm not particularly inclined to believe that sex between two unmarried adults is prohibited depending upon their own beliefs.

So I left it out. Then, of course, I risked someone posting "so you believe in affairs????????" just as you did.

I knew it would happen. And of course it did. Yepps.

So nope. I don't. Just for clarity.


SB

I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, that this all started out as a very innocent question because someone was actually posed the question. But, it has become an outlet for a few folks who may still be a little angry or hurt to throw out a few fantasy ideas. This does not make them bad people. Now, I don't agree with the idea personally, but I understand that they are using the typed word as an outlet. Really, it's gross, I think everyone agrees...but it's just supposed to be a safe place where you can say a few things that maybe you will regret later, but that you felt compelled to get off your chest. Just my thought...agree or disagree.

Agree

I answered the question honestly.

I had something SO much worse planned out and almost acted on it, but I came to my senses and merely exposed.

Exposure earned me a divorce, but my other plan would have earned me prison and I was seconds away from ending his affair permanently.

Don't be shocked at what a BH is capable of doing, especially when he has nothing left to lose.

[Disclaimer: OW in my sitch is divorced...however, if she WAS still married, then....]

NO WAY IN H*LL. Besides the obvious moral dilemma, I would never do that because he was married to and sleeping with her, and she is a tramp. Who knows who else she has slept with and what diseases have been passed around.

This whole thought is revolting.

May I respectfully submit the idea that discussing such ideas on an open anonymous forum such as this, is not necessarily harmless venting?

First of all, I *think* studies have shown that it is not healthy to "release" every and all thoughts and feelings (as opposed to "bottling them up"). There are some thoughts and feelings that *should* be discouraged, not vented.

I think it was in the 70's that the tendency was to "let it all hang out" and not bottle up anger. Therapy sessions devoted to releasing anger only resulted in fueling the anger.

Second, how do you know there isn't someone reading here, possibly lurking, who may think such "fantasy" behavior is acceptable in real life? Can you guarantee that none of the ideas mentioned will occur in real life?

No, you aren't responsible for what some sick mind may mistake for acceptable behavior, but you don't have to plant seeds of evil out there.

Third, is it really healthy to you (or the other posters) to encourage and dwell on such malicious thoughts in your own life? I'm not the thought police, you can have whatever thoughts you want of course... but this is a site to promote growth and healthy relationships. In the interest of that, I must express that I don't think encouraging such thoughts is beneficial.

Fourth.... My gawd, man! Encouraging the thought of sexually using a man's daughter for revenge???

I wonder if some of you proponents of revenge sex, have thought possibly your WS may have been having revenge sex as well. Maybe they gave themselves permission to cheat by saying "My H is a mean SOB" or "MY H uses disgusting porn" or "My W humiliates me in public" or "My W refuses sex except on Christmas" hmmmmm

See any time we give ourselves an excuse to ditch our morals, one excuse is as good as the other.

It's all about a wayward mindset. And if you can justify it, you are the same as a WS, IMHO.

Refreshing??? Refreshing??

Turning into a POS OM is not indicative of having a backbone.

Using a 22 year old girl isn't indicative of having a backbone.

That crap is all ....crap. It doesn't take a backbone to do that stuff.

I see a backbone when the revolving door is removed. So many of these WWs enter and exit affairs and still remain at home.

I see a backbone when a BH EXPOSES...and screw her being furious.

I see a backbone when I see a BH protect the children at all costs.

I see a backbone when I see a BH REFUSE to leave the marital home.

I see a backbone when I see a BH stand firm with their plan.

I don't see no stinkin' backbone when they use their HURT to hurt someone else. I see a spineless immoral miscreant.

Why would you encourage someone in these comments? Why are you validating heinous comments? What type of brotherhood supports this?

Voicing it is simply one step away from doing it.

Lord...what caliber of men are you all??

committed

What if someone posted a fantasy about doing such a thing... and people posted replies with high fives and such... do you think there might be some troubled sick soul, some Jeffrey Dahmer, out there who might perceive that as a real option?

Do you think if some troubled Jeffrey-Dahmer-type person did post on here, and received high fives and supportive comments, that he would be more likely or less likely to try the actions in RL?

I happen to think he would be more likely. Such behavior tends to escalate. first comes "harmless" fantasizing; then "harmless" discussions... then "harmless" acting out on animals...

While I am equally shocked by the comments, this is simply not true. There are a lot of steps between voicing something and doing it. Voicing it can just be an inappropraite expression of anger/hurt.


Again, I don't like it at all...but one, enough with the gender cr@p...and two, they are hurt men. Take it into consideration with your judgements.

I agree with the rest of your post.

What gender crap??

If it were women I would say women.


You called them men yourself when you said they are hurt MEN.

committed

Hey, I'm reluctant to lump MEDC in with "that guy"!


It isn't "men". And MEDC's right - it isn't just a step from saying it to doing it.

I think sometimes the ideas of revenge just scare me, that's all.


I've been a victim - many times over.


I can speak about ideas of revenge. I can't say, "No, I have never thought about revenge." That wouldn't be true! I have had thoughts like the next person.

Not extreme thoughts, though. I've thought about calling people, like OW's bosses, or her dad if I could find him, and telling them exactly what she does in her spare time for fun. But I reconsider it, because I understand revenge for what it is - the need to strike out because I feel pain. It doesn't cure my pain. It doesn't stop my anger.

In the case of a revenge affair, it would make me the moral equivalent of the OW.

That thought sickens me.


SB

I encourage ALL thoughts.


Do you think we'd have a forum to be discussing this in if Dr. Harley didn't discuss his thoughts? "Think" about that.


I don't encourage people to act out their every thought...but, I will discourage anyone from questioning someones elses "manhood" for discussing what he's thinking about.

If I've learned one thing from this stupid, disgusting ordeal that I'm going through right now, it's that I've bottled up enough emotion and feelings over the past 6 years and I will never do that again...even if it makes soemone else cringe. I am a better man for exposing my own inner thoughts and demons than I was before, when I didn't. And, I will never question anyone else's manhood (or womanhood, for that matter) for freely discussing his thoughts and feeling either.

JMHO

Schoolbus,

I am not lumping medc in with the ones that are saying it.

People think things to exact revenge I'm sure.

They voice things that they would like to do to exact that revenge. I guess I consider the only thing left would be the act itself.


What productive thing comes of that?


I guess I am a little stunned by the comments of what things they would like to do.

committed

But, he didn't do it.

He isn't a wayward, and you are just speculating that he will be one, because he stated a thought he had? C'mon.

I did that and it cost me everything plus some.



You ain't got much choice when you are crippled and she puts a gun in your face.


My "plan" was to put a high velocity piece of copper through his brain at 400yards.

I'm glad I didn't stand firm.



Well hello MissPerfect™.

You ain gotcher stats postes, so I can assume you aren't a BS and you are only here to rub your Fairy Tale™ Marriage® and Family® in BH's faces.

I would MUCH rather be a miscreant than a pious disingenuous prude. Kinda like my church that threw me out for not being perfect enough.



You got yer PHD?

If not you NEED to reconsider your daft statement.



Honest and not judgmental like some sanctimonious perfect women here. Kinda like my WW was.

No, I can't...just like you can't gaurantee they won't if people bottle their ideas up. We could agrue that all day long....and get nowhere.

I'm sure that when man invented the wheel, his idea was crazy too...maybe he should have kept his mouth shut?

This is the kind of crap that this forum has way too much of...IMO.

THE GUY ONLY STATED WHAT HE WAS THINKING !!!!!!!!!!

And, now we are all a lower calibre of man?

Isn't sticking our heads in the sand part of the reason some of us got cheated on in the first place?

Out of the sand folks....out of the sand.