My XW is on the verge of being fired because she repeatedly calls in where she works saying she is sick... she was off all last week plus today and yesterday. She said she can't stop throwing up and that stress is causing the sickness. She has called in alot in the past as well.

Basically it looks like her whole life is falling to pieces right now.

There is absolutely no chance she is moving back in. I got the house as part of the divorce and she is still seeing her OM.

I feel like Daffy Duck (I think it was him) in that cartoon where he has the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other and they are both giving Daffy advice. The little red guy on my shoulder is saying, "Screw her, she made her bed and now she can sleep in it." The little angel is saying, "Don't rub it in and she is already suffering enough. Just keep quiet about it."

Any of y'all witnessed a crash n burn? I think I remember how Pariah responded when it happened but what about some of you others.

Oh the tangled web we weave...

Mine didn't crash hard as your's is fixing to go down as she is completely dark about her failure and as well as I know her, she sees it as her "god" getting her ready for something much better.

Just sit back, open a beer and wait for the show.

I love to watch a ship go down in flames.

And NO, she ain't suffering enough.

From first hand experience, she can never suffer enough to fix what she smugly and gleefully destroyed.

I must confess that I look forward to WstbxH's crash and no, he can't return either. That ship already left the harbour. But it doesn't change my feeling on the subject. I realize it's not very nice of me but hey, what comes around goes around and I feel exactly the same way as Pariah.

Is the satisfaction more about revenge, justification/ validation, or hopes that they finally get it (out of fog). Not trying to knock anyone who's thinking revenge, I'm just curious as to what you think the main motivator is.

Empathy.

It's both a tragic and beautiful thing to watch. Personally, I am waiting for my turn. It will come. And when it does, I hope I can sincerely express how little it disturbs me.

I agree with all the negative words that have been said about x's! May their mountain grow steeper and the slope grow slicker!

RMW - LOL! I hope no one will ever say that to me because I do mountain climbing.

Charlie, just keep quiet and enjoy the show. Not listening to the devil will keep you 'angelic'... maybe one day she'll regret that she left. The other side isn't always better.

My STBXH has had a few instances in which his life is teetering downwards...

First there was the friend coming to me last summer asking if it was too late for us, because STBX was unhappy. Then he is telling people how much his life sucks. And, we have his bankruptcy, in which he would not be released from because of a fraudulant filing.

He has no money, no nothing, and it is still all my fault. *rolleyes*

He is on the edge, and I cannot wait for the fireworks (although, I will watch from afar because it has been 11 months since I have even seen him, and in reality, I don't really want to)

I did get to sit back and watch my ExH's meltdown - and while it was soooooo satisfying, it was sad in a way too.....

The fun part FAR outweighed the sad part.......

Laura

sitting back, watching the show is a good way to describe how i have responded so far. i guess the argument inside my head was about whether i should be enjoying the show

she called last night, fairly late, with the don't you feel sorry for me tone in her voice. but i've learned not to fall for it. too many times i have heard that voice only to find out she has gone right back over to OM's place

makes it kinda tough to move on with her i can't help it, i just need attention, why didn't you give me enough, i wouldn't have cheated on you three (fill in the blank with your own word) times

now when she does it, i use one word answers and the few times i actually use sentences is to divert the conversation back to our son... which is really the only thing i will talk to the xw about in depth now

some of yall are lucky. sometimes i wish i could easily laugh about all this... and go find a lovely woman

One of my favorite phrases is "you may be right".
So when she's telling you all you did wrong, you can just repeat that sentence.
It sounds like you are agreeing, but really it's noncommittal. not.

"some of yall are lucky. sometimes i wish i could easily laugh about all this... and go find a lovely woman"

No Charlie, it's not really funny - at least not to me. I wrote what I did earlier because I was in pain and mad. Mad because of that pain I feel sometimes when I realize just how hard it is to find a decent man in the area where I live.

It's been a year and a half since I told David it was over. I know things are going crummy for him because he kept coming back, crying to me when things didn't go his way. It's only been since April that he told me last that he missed .... with me. I told him he was not to contact me again period while he was married AND unless he got help for his own issues. But it hurt every time he would come to me and I couldn't take it anymore.

Part of me hopes he gets help and gets better and then part of me wishes things would get so bad that he couldn't stand it anymore. The mean part is generally when I've had something remind of some of the wonderful things we shared toegther and the fact that I can't seem to find a guy around here that it would be logical to get into a relationship with.

I've only actually dated one since March 07 because the rest of them have been that bad. And that one, Dr. Harley told me, sounded like he needed to be ruled out because of his level of independence. It took me a couple of months before I was willing to rule him out. But after that length of time I could begin to see what Dr. H was telling me.



"sitting back, watching the show is a good way to describe how i have responded so far. i guess the argument inside my head was about whether i should be enjoying the show"

I can understand how you feel here. I guess that's just our givers and takers fighting against each other. Like I was saying earlier about the mean part - that's my taker talking. I've finally just learned to accept that I feel whatever I feel at the moment - that's why I've spent the past couple of hours crying off and on, wishing mean things and then repremanding myself because I felt "guilty" (and I'm not even the one who cheated!).

I hope everything gets better for you though. Maybe one day when I'm actually ready (assuming I'm not since it hasn't happened yet) I'll meet a really great guy and he'll give me the opportunity to be great to him too!

Best Wishes for you,
RMW

t/j
Pariah, I always thought I had the meanest POS-OM of MB but your xw and om actually plotted to kill you???


Where is your story thread at??

end t/j

He was a chichen shat.

I confronted him with an ultimatum that led to a rather dramatic exposure.

I guess I outdrew him.

I don't necessarily take delight in all the difficulties my XW is having now. I am simply glad that I am not as involved as I was while we were married.

You see, when she left, she left my earning potential.

Yeah, the OM she went for was older, and likely had more money. I say had, because he was 13 years older than me or more, was married for 30 years and probably lost a lot to his ex-wife (if their divorce was ever final).

Meanwhile, once she lost access to my wallet, and is limited to only the amount of CS she gets, my financial picture is really good. My only debt now is a modest payment on a used car, and the new home my wife and I purchased at the beginning of the year.

Oh, did I mention, my new bride probably makes 2x what my former wife made, not to mention wants SF far more frequently. I'd say what she wants in a month would have done my former wife for a year or more.

So while my former wife now has to work full time, no longer has her LD OM, and has downgraded, either by his choice, or hers, I don't know, but suspect one of the cheaters cheated on the other, and perhaps it was my XW, since the guy she's with, a security guard type (downgrade from both me and the OM) works in the hospital where she works. I hear that they fight a lot as well.

Drama follows her, and I wonder what I saw in her.

So while I'm not necessarily pleased that life is far more difficult for her now. I'm glad I'm no where near the drama.

The other thing is that she bailed out in 2003 when the dotcom bust had it's way with my portfolio. So she only got 1/2 of what I saved since our marriage. All the money pre-marriage was off the table.

Not all the shares, all the money. So she got very little in her 1/2 of what was left. Maybe $17K tops. I was able to just transfer an entire 401(k) from a previous employer to her, saving me some hassle.

Meanwhile, in 2005, I more than made back that $17K in returns on my investments, before I even made a dime in contributions.

I'm not being hurt too bad right now either. Some losses, but no more than my employer's contributions last quarter. I had moved a good portion of my 401(k) to foreign investments, where the weak dollar has really been helping me recently.

Probably time to recalibrate soon, so I don't have too much overseas.

Please explain how your ex wife's job problems are yours?

I don't think I said they were my problems. It's a slow train wreck that I'm watching.

When I refi'ed the marital home, her lawyer had a lien on it because she owed him almost as much as her share of the equity in the home, so there went her equity, and that was just her first lawyer, she had another lawyer to finalize the divorce.

So her spending continued as if she had a 6 figure income at her disposal.

Her income has not kept pace, and it's starting to show on her.

But as you said, not my problem. Just something interesting to watch from a distance.

gawd a went to go pick the babysitter up for my son this morning and i saw the xw

she looked like a train hit her

hasn't been to work in two weeks now and is on FMLA leave for depression which means she will probably lose her job and move in with OM

anybody ever read hemmingway's "the short happy life of francis macomber?"

i feel like francis right before the final few paragraphs

*RAWR* <--- my lion impression