I agree that this is a good idea.

Have you explored those options for having the Waffling Zombie leave equity in the house so that you can stay there? I would think that the continuity would be what's best for DS, but maybe that's not a big deal for that living dead guy.

I haven't said anything to the Zombie about that yet, Guy. I'm waiting for the appraisal before I bring anything else up. He's not exploring more than the three options (he equity, me equity, we sell).

If he wants money, then we will have to sell. If he really wants his son's stability to reign supreme, he'll at least consider putting a lein against his equity and letting me take over the mortgage, until such time as we sell in the future or his son comes of age. Truth is, this would give me more time to do some finishing work on the house. As it stands, I'm not lifting a finger right now, because it will not benefit either of us in a sell situation. There's just too much to be done.

I must have been experiencing some anxiety while talking with my most excellent and thorough doc, because I'm now feeling vewy tiewed.

On the upside, I sleep like the dead these days


You know something, I would have no idea whether any of this is a big deal. I think he's just looking for a payout or a house so he can live the good life with his new steady piece of tale in his love shack. Oh, oh ooooooh no, I think I'm gonna barf

IRL..I'd probably be considered one of those, too...

BUT a GLAMOUROUS GOOB...

Maybe you built up some anxiety over the doc visit itself and this is the big sigh of relief? Or certainly the act of talking about this stuff (again) can be very draining.

I wouldn't be concerned about exactly why you're tired; just recognize that you are and take the appropriate steps. Speaking of which, time for me to set up that last experiment so that I can go home.

Hey SL,

Seems I am late to the party again today and you are probably snug in bed with DS getting some good rest (I hope).

I just wanted to chime in to say that it is difficult when our little ones ask such direct and poignant questions. You handled it perfectly. As always, telling the truth is the only way to go and the Zombie is on his own to EARN his boy's respect. You done good, Goob!

I understand the 'feeling' of a backwards step with the a.d's, but as yous said, it will help you to move forward. It will help you do so in a stronger, more stable frame of mind. It takes soo much going through this, so I am totally for anything to help you be 100%. If nothing else, consider it just another thing you are doing for DS. You don't want to look back and question your decisions later because you were in too much emotional turmoil.

As for the PT,,,again I understand having yet ANOTHER thing on the to do list. Yet, again, consider it another thing you are doing for DS. He needs you to be as strong and healthy as possible. So even if you wouldn't do it so much for yourself, I know you wouldn't hesitate to do anything for him!

Wishing you a restful night!

{{SL}}

SL,


I see this as good news.

Sleep tight!

((((((((((((((((SL & DS))))))))))))))

Well, the Zombie is moving his stuff out as we speak (type?). I know it's a good thing, but it's triggering me MAJORLY. This is one of the big bandaids that has needed to be ripped off, and it stings a bit. When I get home, it will probably trigger me even more. Oh, well, it's a necessary evil in a huge pile of evil that needs to be shoveled and burned

(((SL)))

Angry? Sad? Depressed? All of the above?

This is the situation part of the situational anxiety. Have you tried writing the Zombie a letter telling him what you think? It can be cathartic, and, of course, you don't have to actually give it to him.

Are you breathing?

I remember that day. I had everything piled in the garage ready to go. It took only 15-20 minutes with the help of DD's boy friend de jour to load her van and wave bu-bye. It was a bad day but a huge first step in accepting the reality of the divorce.

From that day on there was virtually no evidence that she ever lived there. And I soon came to like that a lot.

(((((SL and DS))))


Fox

Heh.. on THIS one at least I'm severely behind the ball..

I remember coming home from work the day after she left, and most of her stuff was gone..

Her dresser still sits empty..

Her side of the walk-in closet is still bare..

I have shoes she left still on the shoe rack in the garage where she'd left them last time she'd taken them off to come in the house.

One of her purses still sits, filled with nothing but trash, by the door to the garage..

The only thing I actively did, was to take down the family photographs with her in them and put them away..

*sigh*

Another thing on my list of things to tick off.

Anyhow.. said all of that to say, I know how you feel SL.. not much I can say to change it, but we're here for ya.

No I pretty much cleaned out the house of everything that was her. It was actually quite therapeutic.

I did naturally find some more stuff over the following weeks that were hers that I thought she would like to have. I boxed these things up and sent them with DD to be delivered on her schedule.

One of the items was the top from our wedding cake. DGS was with me when I found it and I tossed it in the trash. DGS told me that although I did not understand or believe it, Wayzilla would want to keep it. I laughed. She told me to trust her and to put it with the “Last of Wayzilla’s Crap” box to send with DD. So I did.

When DD delivered that box to “bulldozer barn” Wayzilla picked up the cake top and said, “Why on earth did he think I would want this?”, and tossed it out right then.

When DD had the great photo album “It’s all I have left” blow-up with Wayzilla months later, guess what she saw sitting there with the books? Yep, the cake top. DGS was totally right.

Goofy waywards.

Gosh,

I don't really know EXACTLY how I feel. Sad.Check. Angry.Check. happy.teensy check.

It's just the finality of it all hits with every move toward divorce. It's a good thing that this is happening. It's also a reminder that the family I once had is gone. Zombie is moving his stuff with the help of his half brother and step father, whom I feel like I've lost in all of this.

I know that they care for DS a great deal, and I suppose that is all that really matters.

SL,

I am sorry for the difficulty and pain that today brings to you.

THIS moment in time is hard. Yet I am positive that Tomorrow will be better. Having his stuff out of your sight will help you to start down that new path of healing. It frees up space for SL to fill with HER life and HER things with DS.

Visuals are really hard for me. Having them around was just an anchor to the past. As your ship has sailed, cut loose that anchor & chain.

There are beautiful, serene, and exciting waters ahead for you.

Now here I thought I said the same thing just not so much like a Hallmark card.

Thank you Bugsy.

As I was driving home, the finality of it dug deeper and deeper. I'm home now. I'm okay. It's so spacious in my bedroom, but emptiness is also there. That armoire was like the last piece of him in our room. The other stuff is really no biggie, but the armoire WAS.

I'm glad it's gone. I can move forward a bit better with that hammer being dropped. It's more REAL, and the space is a more accurate depiction of divorce than still having all that stuff here.

AS for tonight, I am going to have a glass of champagne and toast myself getting thru this last few weeks and pray for the strength to endure the rest of this turtle paced race. Project Runway is on tonight, so that will help, too.

Tomorrow will be easier, I'm sure. DS will be home and I have a great weekend to look forward to.

Just these days hit me pretty hard. I'm so glad THAT band-aid has been ripped off. I'll have some down time to prepare for the next.

You did. I heard it. I wouldn't know what to do if you started writing in Hallmark SPEAK. YOU are my comedic relief. Don't you dare go all mushy on me.

{{{{{{SL}}}}}}

I am so thinking about you and praying for you right now.

Enjoy that drink, take care of yourself and know that you are loved and supported by so many people.

Queenie

I think you will get by this one pretty quick. Within a few days I was pretty happy with the change. Very happy with the change.


I am going to drink coffee and watch basketball video. Shhhhh...then maybe a bourbon.

You have done well SL.

Speak up, I can't hear you. Are there small children around that are not supposed to know that adults drink?

and...

eeeeewwwwwweeeee. Blech. I can't do the BROWNs (long story) unless it's tequila mixed with lime, lemon and something orangey. Heck, I don't even enjoy the clears so much these days. I'm lovin the champagne. It's fizzy and bubbly and it makes me snicker and a little goes a long way.