<BR>I have been visiting this site for a week now and finally am <BR>telling my story. This site has <BR>been great help thanks to all in<BR>advance.<BR>The facts - I am 34yr m betrayer<BR>married 1.5 yrs. together with w<BR>almost 10 yrs. Own my business,<BR>successful in poor inner city, met ow there where she lives.<BR>affair lasted 3-4 months until ow<BR>duped me and got pregnant - walked around 2 months in clouds<BR>w was being harrassed via phone<BR>was trying to handle it all of <BR>course ow wouldn't get abortion<BR>discovery came as i knew it was <BR>all falling apart also w wanted to get pregnant and i couldn't<BR>start family w/o her knowing truth -- a month later went to <BR>ow to extricate myself completely<BR>she became violent assaulted me<BR>my car, police involved and now<BR>she has taken me to court says<BR>i hit her etc. haven't been to <BR>business since and had no contact<BR>with ow since violent nite - thank goodness i have a good lawyer and ow can't afford one <P>issues - through therapy and all <BR>the reading i have done here and<BR>listening to you all, i now understand the damage i have done<BR>the reasons why and a course to<BR>rebuild - love my w deeply and know how i have completely devastated her, i am so remorseful and will do anything to help her and to try to rebuild<BR>our marriage and have told her so<BR>she is getting past the anger phase and now is somewhat depressed and just started taking<BR>meds -- also in therapy although<BR>i think she wants to change therapists -- we are finishing a <BR>10 day separation i will be going<BR>home after this weekend she needed some space to clear her head and not think about it all.<BR>i know she loves me and think she<BR>wants to try to work things out<BR>she is having trouble with it all<BR>and it's not hard to understand <BR>why--each day it seems is another<BR>incident w/ the court, the fact<BR>that i haven't been to work, the<BR>visual images she has, and so on<BR>i know the road ahead is a long<BR>bumpy one and i really feel w is<BR>moving toward wanting to try --<BR>i will be introducing her to this<BR>site when i get back in my house<BR>i know i have to have unlimited <BR>patience with her- i also know<BR>that she is the best thing that <BR>ever happened in my life - i only<BR>wish i understood all of this before i was so stupid and took a<BR>trip into outer space--any suggestions you all could provide<BR>in helping me to help my w get<BR>over the hump would be appreciated i know not to push her that she needs to heal and recover at her own pace i just love and feel so much for her <BR>because i know how hurting she is<BR>and that i was the cause.<BR>thanks again to all this forum has been tremendous for me<BR>much peace and love...trying hard

Wow, I am really sorry you had to go through all of this. I don't think anyone deserves to go through the pain and humiliation you have gone through. I wish you the best and hope that things get better for you soon.

thanks for taking the time to read <BR>cracker appreciate it...<BR>

Hi trying hard,<P>Wow, sounds like you've been through the ringer with this woman. You sound like a good man, despite your mistake. You also seem to really have your head together and understand the devastation your actions have caused. That puts you ahead of a lot of people. Just remember what you've said, it's going to take a lot of patience! <P>I'm glad to hear that you two are in therapy, it can be a lifesaver, not to mention a marriage saver. Now that your 'ahem' head is screwed on correctly, it's time to work on helping your wife recover. Make sure you direct her here as soon as possible. She will find more than enough support from everyone. This place has saved many from insanity. I hope both of you will gain a lot of insight.<P>Good luck to you, your wife is lucky to have someone who understands the consequences, and the effort it's going to take to get over this hurdle. <P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller<BR>

Trying hard...<P>I'm so sorry about what you and your W had/has to go through with this OW. It was a very bad judgment call on your part to get involved with this OW, but it sounds like you are truly remorseful and love your wife deeply. You sound like a decent person who made a painful mistake.<P>That's great you are going to therapy and finding the necessary tools to rebuild your marriage. It will take work and time to recover but it sounds like you & your W will survive this terrible ordeal.<P>Best of luck to both of you....<BR>