oops, that was about me.

Oh crap, I would feel so bad if hubby got a V and had pain during erections. Wonder what caused that? Maybe they screwed up?It's probably rare.

His sex drive wasn't affected at all by losing a testicle nor was his testosterone. I don't know that a V would cause it.

Sounds like both options work but there is a minor chance of a risk or problem.

H really doesn't want me to risk TL. I think he feels much guilt and would hate for me to get messed up from it. I dunno, I've had 2 C-Sections. This should be simple compared to that!

I just looked up the site. I really don't like the side effects listed for this one.

Lower abdominal pain (cramping) 10.5% 2.0%
Acne or other skin problems 3.5% 1.8%
Back pain 3.1% 1.0%
Breast tenderness 3.1% 1.0%
Headache 2.8% 1.6%
Mood changes 2.5% Less than 1.0%

and....


You can also get it taken out in 5 minutes and everything reverts to normal in a month or so.

My wife was having irregular periods prior, has suffered no side effects and no periods since having one fitted. She's probably too old to fall pregnant now (48) so the main benefit is the effect it has had on her cycle.

If you're wanting a permanent form of birth control for yourself, another good option for you may be the newer type of a "tubal" called Essure. Google the term for more details, but the Essure method is essentially two sets of micro coils that are inserted into the fallopian tubes via a transvaginal catheter. For the next three months or so, the Essure coils form scar tissue inside the fallopian tubes to block them permanently.

You will need to use an alternative form of BC while the scars form and are confirmed by X-ray, but the Essure method does not require any surgical cutting into the abdomen. Most women can have it done in the morning in their GYN's office and return to work that afternoon... But, because it's designed to completely block the tubes, Essure cannot be reversed like a traditional tubal ligation can (although that does require further surgery and doesn't always work anyway)... Essure does have a quite similar success rate comparable to a traditional tubal and it involves no hormones. You'll also need to confirm whether your insurance will cover it, but Essure has been available for about 5 years now and it is generally less costly than a surgical tubal.

Have you considered NFP (Natural Family Planning)?

This way you nor your husband need to 'fix' your body.

We did both. I only did the tubal though b/c I was already having a c/s - I wouldn't have gone in for a second surgery.

I wanted WH to get a vas too for obvious reasons, we're still working on recovery. The vas was not bad for him, little pain, lots of ice.

For the IUD - there are two kinds, the old-fashioned one w/ no hormones and can stay in 10yrs. Anecdotally a lot of women have heavier periods on it. The Mirena has progesterone, but since its only going into your uterus and not systemic, tends to effect people less. It can only stay in 5 yrs. I tried to get the Mirena but my gyn could not place it b/c my uterus is retroverted, tipped backward. I was one of only two people he couldn't place (made me feel like a freak! LOL) So if you have a tipped uterus I would ask about that, mine is really tipped. Also the cost for the Mirena is $500 and my insurance wouldn't pay. Having the tubal while in or the c/s saved me paying for pain meds, etc so that was good.

good luck making a decision - these are not easy choices
--struggling

Vas is quick and easy. I was in bed for one day. Wearing compression shorts and light duty for 2 to 3 more.

A friend of mine has his vas reversed, and has had 3 kids since.

Just my .02

As wonderful as NFP can be, it takes time, effort and consistency, and requires abstinance or backup protection for a portion of the month (outside of the time of your period), combine the two together and it is easy to have up to 10 days a month where you cannot have safe sex.


There are studies that show both the essure and traditional tubals can cause more severe PMS symptoms, more pain during ovulation, and or pain from scarring at the tubal sites.

The same can be said of V's - there can be pain from scar tissue.

Both have risks, V's are far more reversable, less costly and less invasive. It's a personal choice.

Men, never get a Vasectomy, if you do its like having a gun without bullets, think blanks.

Then too, the fear of conception is part of the allure of the act.

Also being sterile takes away a barganing chip in the case your wife goes really wacky, since you can alway have children with another woman.

Had my tubes tied right after DS8...and AHHHHHHHH! WHEE! It's wonderfully freeing!

I had a bit of a rough go after...but only mentally - was going through PPD, and the thought of not having any more kids made it rougher on me....

But then, I'd have had a bus load willingly if'n my body could've taken it.

"Then too, the fear of conception is part of the allure of the act."

This way of getting exciting sex comes at a very high price, for both men and women;

1. The "accidently" pregnant woman who has to weigh abortion, adoption or bearing a child and raising it for 20 years. It is too high a price for me to pay I know that!

2. High price for a man would be child support, raising a child to age 20, and loss of his savings or inability to ever retire.

I think it would be better to "pretend" you could impregnate a woman than to actually impregnate her. But what do I know I am a woman with a tubal to insure a pregnancy never happens!

I celebrated for months after my tubal! I think it was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

When I dated my husband and we had the "birth control talk" he was extremely elated when he found out I had had a tubal. That meant he would never have to consider a Vasectomy. Because I did what was needed ALREADY! YAY!

I came to him complete with permanent birth control already in place. What a nice thing!

When my wife and I had this discussion, we opted for her to get her tubes tied because she was going to have a c-section for our 3rd child. The Dr's were already there, so it was a snap to get it done.

That being said, if we end up in a divorce, I will probably get a vascetomy at some point. I don't want any more children, and really wouldn't want to ever be persuaded otherwise. If we stay together, I feel like a vascetomy would only be useful if I was cheating, so what's the point.

I think it is now...but oh, then, oh...I was SO SAD!

Funny how traveling a few miles down a road can change your personal view of the scenery.

BSs:

Does the idea of such a procedure being done on your FWS make you uneasy?

I think the various reasons are obvious...don't mean to hijack the thread.

This is sad. Do you think the "fear of pregnancy" would keep a cheater spouse faithful? Or do you need "a surprise pregnancy from another person" to see if your spouse is cheating?

The whole idea is so sad to me. If it has come to that, why be married to the idiot.

Obvious reasons?

So he won't get an OW pregnant?


committed

That is sad. It is like neutering a cat or dog so the humping they are bound to do does not cause the overproduction of puppies throughout the neighborhood!

And yet, after dday #2 that very thought went through my mind...although I'm not certain how much of it was me fantacizing ME doing the actual snipping out of vengence and how much was logic.