After 3 1/2 months of Plan A my W has decided that she does not love me and does not desire to work on rebuilding a love for me.<P>She has decided to get an apartment and file for divorce. She says she's not sure if she will go through with finalizing the divorce, but after the waiting period will be at a place where she can do so if it feels right. During the separation she does not desire to attend marriage counseling, but will continue to see her counselor to work on herself. <P>For those of you who are believers, I would appreciate your prayers for my family. Especially my 2 little girls (ages 9 and 3) and of course my wife. We have agreed to joint custody, but i'm so afraid of the effect this is going to have on my oldest. She's in a gifted & talented program at school and is such a spirited little thing. I can't bear to think of the pain she is about to go through. As for my youngest, the thought that she will not likely remember a time when our family all lived together is almost more than i can bear. <P>Right now there's only one set of footprints in the sand. <P>

nlitend,<P>You're in my prayers. I would continue your plan A efforts: let your wife know that you don't want divorce. Help her move into her apartment; be especially loving at this time (it's going to be a shock to her).<P>Hang in there. The kids will hurt, and your wife will see that. That will work towards reconciliation.

Hi<BR>I am truely sorry for you it always breaks my heart to see the effect this has on the children I too have two little girls 7 and 3 and it broke their hearts when I moved out with them to my mothers house when I found out about H affair they cried every day the whole way home a drive of 1 1/2 hours every day it was more than I could take. After 2 weeks I moved home and decided to give our family another chance. I will send a prayer up right now for your family.<P>Jenny<BR>South Africa<P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<P>

K and jendan69,<P>Thanks so much for responding. I do plan to continue in Plan A and to remind my W that i do not want the divorce. <P>On Monday night my W had an engagement and didn't get home until after the kids were asleep. During the time i was putting the youngest to bed she was crying for mommy. My only thought was "is this how it's going to be?" <P>Again, thanks for your prayers.

My prayers are with you and your family.<P>Do not pray for easy lives<BR>Pray to be stronger men and women.<BR>Do not pray for tasks equal to your<BR>powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks.<BR>Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle but you shall be a miracle.<P>God Bless

My W is being really nice to me during all this. Could this already be some guilt coming into play? She says her spirits are good because the decision to separate has lifted a burden off her. <P>I told her (in a non-lovebusting way) that i understand her problem of not feeling any love for me, but i still feel this is an abandonment of her marriage vows, and that i'm very disappointed in her decision not to seek marriage counseling. She says she's not ready for it. We tried it back when the affair was going on and it was a total waste of time and money. On the bright side, she did say she had visited this site recently.

Separation is not the end of anything. My H is moving home for the 5th time and he wants the marriage to work. Just keep loving her, but don't be a doormat (I gotta remember to take my own advice.)<P>Sending up a prayer.

Here's my prayer for you.<P>Father, thank you for your stamp of approval on marriages and family. And thank you for the favor you show to your children.<P>I bring before you this marriage, and ask for your favor. I ask you to continue being the 3rd strand in a 3 stranded cord, holding a marriage together. Please give wisdom to Nlitend, and special comfort to him and the little girls. Be with them, and give them a peace that passes all understanding.<P>Please forgive his wife, and remove her confusion. Bless her, take care of her and open her eyes. We come against any spirit of division that has entered this marriage right now, in the name of Jesus. Spirit of division you must leave.<P>We loose from heaven your Spirit, Lord, Your spirit of Love. Thank you Lord for occupying the empty spaces in their hearts.<P>We ask all of this in your sons name, Jesus.<P>Amen.

My thanks go out to all of you.<P>Trustntruth....To say i was touched by your words would be such an understatement. <P>May God bless and watch over each of you.