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Plan D avoided
#2110013 08/14/08 02:23 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 370
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todd1967
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todd1967
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Cruise and I have turned aside from Plan D and are working harder than ever at recovery. We are not quite sure what did it, but perhaps the "reality" of it hit us really hard after talking with the kids about the expected D.

We spent a few weeks prepping for D: Cruise consulted an attorney, the kids and other family were told, plans were being made to put the house on the market, etc. We have spent a few weeks since in a "rapid recovery" phase. I have been hesitant to post, as it seems such an about-face. I guess better late than never. Of course, we still have a long way to go, but our attitudes have undergone a radical change.

Todd

still doing the best I know how
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2110028 08/14/08 02:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,361
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steadfast and committed Offline
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steadfast and committed
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Good to hear that. I really am.

God Bless.

S&C

No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Brooks Adams
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2110029 08/14/08 02:48 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
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medc Offline
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medc
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Bravo!
Re: Plan D avoided
medc #2110032 08/14/08 02:56 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
San Diego County
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believer Offline
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San Diego County
Such happy news! So glad you posted.
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2110048 08/14/08 03:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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TheRoad Offline
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TheRoad
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I guess lookong back you were just being a fence sitter. Glad you got pushed off onto the recovery side.
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2110049 08/14/08 03:13 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
USA
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MrWondering Offline
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That's really awesome Todd.

Mr. Wondering

FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2110069 08/14/08 03:35 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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ForeverHers Offline
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ForeverHers
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Congratulations Todd and Cruise!

What are the two of you doing differently now that you refer to as a radical change in attitude?

Any support we can offer?
Re: Plan D avoided
ForeverHers #2110080 08/14/08 03:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,145
southern USA
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at peace Offline
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at peace
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That's great to hear, Todd! smile You'll never be sorry you put 110% into recovery. It's worth it.

Lori

VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
Re: Plan D avoided
at peace #2110115 08/14/08 04:40 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
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Just Learning Offline
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Just Learning
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Todd,

Congratulations. Why feel defensive about doing something you both seem to want to do...have a good marriage you both enjoy? You two have "done good".

God Bless,
JL
Re: Plan D avoided
at peace #2110118 08/14/08 04:45 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,499
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not2fun Offline
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not2fun
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Todd.....

I am not surprised.....I had this "feeling" that it would not end that way.

What was the turning point???

The standing at the door of reality and what a D entails???

or (and this is what I think).....the pressures of recovery were off both of your shoulders, you finally felt like you could breathe, you finally felt like you weren't walking on eggshells around each other and probably relaxed a little around each other, and by doing so, probably finally got to enjoy each other...and in that, found out that maybe just maybe you both didn't want a D after all.....

of course, what do I know???.....

Anyway, I am so glad to hear of this.....it brings great joy to the boards today..... dance2


not2fun
Re: Plan D avoided
todd1967 #2112178 08/19/08 02:18 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
England,United Kingdom
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Bob_Pure Offline
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Hey todd

I hope it works out for you both, mate. I'd only say to you: don't just suck up hurt because it is more palatable than divorce. Learn and apply new ways of living better together.

Aim for happiness not just the least hurt all round.

All blessings

MB Alumni

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