The other day I was involved in an interesting discussion. A woman in our group kept referring to her 'ex' in a discussion. I was confused as her marriage had ended over 10 years ago and the events she described where recent. It turns out that the ex was her recent boyfriend. I made the comment that I would never call a former girlfriend an ex. The term 'ex' refers to a former spouse, and maybe a former fiance or somebody one lived with for at least a year. But, never a bf or gf. Most of the women disagreed with my comment. And since most of the people were women the subject was dropped, and I was supposedly enlightend.

But afterwards I talked to several men in the group and they agreed. We all felt there is a huge difference between a spouse and a g/f. And an ex spouse and an former girlfriend.

So, why is this true? Or is it? Do women really consider an former boyfriend as the equivalent of a former husband?

Is this part of the modern 'no fault' thinking that marriage is not that important anymore? Given that ending a marriage requires the same justification as kicking out a boyfriend (NONE!), maybe I am wrong.

I would think it's ok to call a BF/GF if you feel there was a signficant attachment there. However, they would eventually lose the title, while an ex from marriage always keeps the title.

That being said, I generally avoid terms like 'ex', and 'step' as they tend to have negative connotations with them.

I cannot imagine referring to a man I was no longer dating as my "ex" especially since I have a real ex-husband. I think saying "ex" is confusing to others. If someone must use it to describe a former beau, she should probably use the noun. Ex-Boyfriend.

my "ex" is my exhusband.
If I am speaking of a former boyfriend, I say "exboyfriend" or I have said "so and so I used to date" or "former boyfriend"

It is true one can have an ex-BF or ex-GF, but generally if you are past high school, ex all by itself refers to a spouse. However, I do know a few NMNK people who refer to former BF/GF's as ex's as well. It does strike me as odd because I don't equate BF/GF to spouse either, but I figure NMNK people haven't experienced the difference so I never comment on it.

nothing wrong with ex gf/bf. I mean it is a term that denotes that the person is no longer a part of your romantic life.

Ex is fine.

My state agrees. In the divorce training I got, I am simply to refer to my "Ex" as "Co-parent" so there is no negative connentation.

I really don't want to refer to her at all, but I must.

I see nothing wrong with the term "Ex-GF/BF" as long as the girlfriend/boyfriend disclaimer is there. If you are never married, then it could simply be "Ex". Once divorced, the term "Ex" only without qualification should be refrained for the ex-spouse.