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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 27
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 27 |
My wh and I are trying to rebuild our marriage after the A he had for 2 months 4 mths ago. I have been doing well, eating and trying to get things back to normal. However I just can't help thinking about both of them together especially when we are making love. I'm trying not to think...what else can I do?? Help??
Me:35
H:52
M:2 yrs
found out :May 08
A: March/April 08
Me: 35 WH:52 Found out: May 08 A: march-April 08
God is my Refuge and Strength, a very present help in times of trouble....
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 244
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 244 |
Have you tried MC or IC? It might help. 
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982 |
I am thankful I did not have SF images to deal with. Some people try making the image go smaller and smaller until it is too small to see. Others try immediately replacing the image with a positive and very easy to visualize image as soon as the hateful image comes into view. Others try to perceive SF or other areas that were violated as being reclaimed: Anything that you know he did with her--you do it with him in order to reclaim your turf or territory.
Keep in mind that you are very early in this process and it takes more time and work. But you will feel better with time and work.
Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496 |
I found that images in your head will go away with time, but time doesn't move fast enough for most when it comes to SF. So it's a mind game that you are going to have to play for awhile...but they will eventually stop.
Try to cut off the images before they take hold which is usually after 30 seconds. Tell yourself to stop that thought and then do it. It takes a little learning, but you can control what you think about after working on it.
There will come a time when you get so irritated and exhausted about this situation that you will kick the OW out of your bedroom (hypothetically). She doesn't belong there. Try not to waste too much of your energy and time thinking about HER. She means nothing. Never did.
...but this will end...promise
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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