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Love; Romance; SEX (How do I restart the sparks)
#2110452 08/15/08 10:01 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
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HLRomantic Offline OP
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HLRomantic
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Let me start by saying I truly love my wife and I would say she loves me. I need help getting our romantic love life back before it totally disappears.

Most of my advances are turned away, my romantic touches to specific body parts are pushed away.
I have tried messages in a bottle, suggesting a planed day for sex, suggested we go into our hot tub nude. She either ignores my advances or says that would be gross. She wasn’t always like this we use to be very spontaneous and make love on the beach, out doors or where ever, unfortunately this doesn’t happen any more.

I want and need to make love more! Not sure what to try next?

Last edited by HLRomantic; 08/15/08 10:03 AM.
Help Less Romantic, Confused but still in Love!

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Re: Love; Romance; SEX (How do I restart the sparks)
HLRomantic #2148301 10/26/08 11:57 AM
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("She wasn’t always like this we use to be very spontaneous and make love on the beach, out doors or where ever, unfortunately this doesn’t happen any more.")

If that's the case, you might try looking at the rest of your relationship. Are you meeting her EN's on a CONSISTENT basis? Are there any love busters that need to be eliminated? Do you dismiss her feelings if they don't line up with yours? Do you cut her and lay all the blame on her if things start going sour -- or do you take a look at your own faults in what is going on? Do look at yourself and say, "Ok, This woman used to love to make love to me whenever things felt good between us, now she can't stand to. What am I doing to turn her off?"

Do both of you take each other's feelings into account in situations? Try asking her how important she feels to you when the two of you disagree on something. Do you put forth an extra effort to let her know she comes first in your life, or do you let other things come in the way of your UA time with each other?
How much UA do you spend together? Without at least 15 hours of UNDIVIDED ATTENTION between the two of you each week AND ELIMINATING ALL LB's (it only takes 1 LB TO KILL 20 positive units you put in) it's not going to get any better.

This may not be all that you need to do, but it is a good start.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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