Hi everyone,

Let me start off by saying thank you in advance for any help you provide.

I'll try to keep this short if possible. My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have a 4 year old son. About a month ago she told me she loved me but was'nt in love with me I know from what i have seen this is a common line. Anyway, for the past month I have tried hard to re-connect with her. We have had sexual issues that were probably more my fault then hers. We have had several discussions about this and would work on it for awhile then things would slip back into the usual rut. These talks about this have been going on for a year or so. This week she told me our marriage is over and she won't really talk more about it I have suggested seeing a marriage counselor and she said I don't see what good it will do since to her it's over and can't be fixed. This to me is hard to believe that she won't even try very unlike her. I'm not sure if there is someone else that she is talking to and feeling something on an emotional level for that person. In the past we may not have worked out our issues completely but we could at least talk and now when I say I wanna talk she just shuts me down starts crying and tells me there is nothing I can say to change things. Something that really complicates things is that we can't afford to sell our house and with other bills we would be finacially buried. She has agreed to try and live together until I can finsh fixing up this place and the market gets a little better. This will be very hard on both of us. Besides that I want our marriage to work I need help finding a way to converse with her so that she can see I will do whatever I need to to make things right agian. When I said the vows at my wedding I meant it better or worse and all that. Something else that sticks in my head is that we always promised no matter what outside of cheating we could get through any problems we have. This situation makes me wonder did she really meen that when she said it or was it just something to say when things are good. Another huge issue is I really don't want my son to grow up in a broken home it really bothers me and does'nt seem to bother her much.

What I really need is some good advice I'm lost and hurt and not sure what to do.

Does she work or is she a stay at home mom?

You know something
Thats EXACTLY what bugs me the MOST in MY marriage problem. Its not the silence, the lack of sex, the indifference, the selfishness.....Its simply the breaking of the promise to NEVER STOP TRYING, NEVER QUITTING. All the other broken wedding vows are survivable. Only one kills everything. Quitting.

I'm sorry for your plight. Hope everything comes out the way you wish.

Thank you for the response's.

Yes she works full-time. We both have day jobs and are home in evening together.

And I agree the quitting hurts the most. All I really want to do is try if that fails then I'll do my best to except it and move on. There is just to much to lose by giving up but, how do I try to tell someone that that won't even talk to me rationally?