Let me start out by saying DH and I are over nine years into recovery. A lot of water under the bridge. We don't even live in the same state anymore.
Anywho, a good friend of mine recently started a new job in our hometown and discovered that a co-worker is slutgirl. Sorry, old habits die hard. The subject of affairs came up over coctails one night and the woman actually admitted she had had an affair years earlier and that the man stayed with his wife{me}, for the children. HA! We had no children together. They were mine from my first marriage. They were also all teens and could have seen him anytime. How do you suppose she rationalizes that in her pea picking brain?

What's WRONG with you woman?

Don't you recognize a poor helpless victim when you see one?


sheesh!

I can't even wrap my brain around the fact she admitted to being in an affair. I would be so ashamed that I would have wished the floor would swallow me.

Maybe she's got a very low IQ ?

Because we live in two separate worlds. In the MB world, people like us would be embarassed. In the *ahem* "real" world, it's all romantic and flowers and fairy dust.

"We had a love affair.....but alas!! He couldn't leave his beloved children! *sniff*"

JMHO

Charlotte

P.S.) I run into that sometimes in the "real" world because people who aren't aware of the MB concepts seem to buy into the "Hollywood Love Affair" thing. Heck, let's call it the "Hollywood Love Affair Syndrome!"

Yeah, the 'real' world caused me a heart attack and a raging case of chlamydia.

Oh, I know she has a verrrrrryyyy low IQ.

Its because these silly, half wit broads watch nonsense like Bridges of Madison County and think its very romantic. :crosseyedcrazy: How many times have we seen silly women come here and talk about their beautiful affairs with their "soul mates?" captive, silly women....... They don't realize that others just see 2 pigs wallering in the pig pen.

Mel, come on! Rutting is a much more descriptive word, I swear you are going soft on us! :crosseyedcrazy:

Oh how I love the new smilies

They don't realize that others just see 2 pigs wallering in the pig pen. [/quote]
Funny thing is even the person engaging in the affair feels the same remorseful disgust once they do come out of affairland fog. I wish she knew exactly what he thinks of her now!

I betcha my name is MUD in the PIG community for insultin' them with that unfair comparison to an OW! **snort**

Ugh!! I'm sorry to hear that!

I was getting close on the heart attack part myself. It was the grace of God that prevented STDs, though, IMHO.

After all, WH-Gray just COULDN'T cheat on his "gurl-frayund" with his wife! Thank goodness for small miracles, even though at the time I felt like:

Charlotte

Absolutely! I agree, between the sappy adultery movies women watch, and the porn the guys are watching, it's a wonder there are any healthy relationships left at all. It is truly sickening.

Do you think it would be just too evil to let my friend T plant the info of how we have recovered and grown since the affair? I have thoughts of letting her know how happy we are... how we have moved on, he finished grad school, built our half mill dollar house, raised successful kids, survived the death of my oldest. He held my head while puking during chemo. All this and all she has is a miserable factory job and THREE, yeah, I know, three failed marriages since.
Okay, I know, just let it go... right?

The truth is never "evil".

It is what it is.

I would say, tell your friend that the truth is that those kids are "step" kids but your H sees them as his own flesh and blood and would die for them. That he couldn't leave them - true - but that he also could not leave YOU. That his remorse after the affair nearly devastated him, and when he looked back at the OW and what he nearly did with his life and what he nearly lost, well, he was a total wreck over the entire affair.

That the two of you recognized the mess that things were, and that because you knew that the real love of his life was there in front of him, he threw himself into the marriage.

And what you have now in front of you is what happens when two people who really love each other work together for a great marriage - and that you are grateful for each day that you have to love each other together.


What your friend does with this information - if she decides to pass it on to OW - is her business.

Chances are, she will.

So be it!

SB