D-day was 9 days ago -- OP called my house to let me know what was going on and expose WBF. WBF swears that he had broken it off with her earlier that day...WBF stated that he knew what he had done was wrong and that he needed to end it and tell me and make things right by me. Family and friends are not in favor of the A and all support R with me. I think the guilt played a part in him revealing this to them.

He is drepressed and that was part of the problem had withdrwn emotionally from me and allowed a stranger to fill the void. He says he does not love her and will not speak to her again.

She was calling him so many times a day leaving so many vm it filled his in box. He has chnaged his cell number and will allow acess to bill if i request and now i get to check all incoming calls when we are together.

I never begged him to stay told him he needed to really consider what had taken place and why and who he wanted to be with. Told him not stay with me out of guilt or not wanting to cause me pain because as bad as it was now, having him return to her after a period of time would be so much worse.

I have been upset that he was not more "excited" to be with me but maybe that is in its own way a good thing, think I reas that somewhere.

There is so much, im devistated, i feel i am doing all the work, he swaers he is committed but has not showm much effort yet. He does listen if i don't get angry so working hard on that.

Any more advice?

You're not M'd?

Any children involved?

If you're not M'd, and there are no children involved, my suggestion would be to walk away, as fast as you can, and have no further contact with WBF. I've been right where you are now. I chose to stay. Guess what brought me to MB years later??

Knowing what I know now and having caught him in his lies while dating and not yet married, I would not repeat this again. No matter how much I love him.

If he will cheat now, chances are truly high that he will repeat when married.

That being said, if you truly want to stay and work it out, read up on Dr. Harley's concepts and purchase the Surviving An Affair book and work through the process.

Good luck!