I am 32 years old and my husband is 48. We have been together for 7 years and I thought that we had a wonderful marriage. He has two children from his first marriage, they are 26 and 21. I have an 11 year old son that loves this man to death and is the only father that he has ever known. About 2 years ago, we decided to try and have another baby. I got pregnant last Oct. When I was 2 1\2 months pregnant, my husband went on line and made up a fantasy life for himself. He met a woman in a personals ad and they began to chat. Soon they decided to meet. They met 3 times before I finally figured it out. He slept with her and then came home and slept with me, which makes me feel like he did not even care whether he gave me or our unborn child any diseases. When I first comforted him about it, he denided everything and continued to see her. Then I got proof, which caused me to go into premature labor and almost lose my son. I agreed to stay and try to work it out for my son's sake, but I no longer respect this man that I loved with all of my heart and soul. All of my family is 1300 miles away so it is just me and my kids. He says that he is truely sorry, but I found out that he basically did the same thing to his wife and to the woman that he left his wife for. I did not know this before. Now I am so hurt, My 11 year old son is torn apart because this is a man that he really loved, and now I have a beautifly baby boy. Is it right to stay in a relationship for the kids? My husband says that he is truely sorry and that he would die without me and the kids, but lately he has had alot of health problems and now I feel like a nurse more than a wife. I really resent the fact that he choose to ruin me and my childrens life, then I have to end up taking care of him, he is going blind now. Please help, any advise would be greatly appreciated.<BR>

Welcome to the MB, Cindy,<P>Well...This is a very disturbing post, as I'm sure you realize. You have SO much on your plate right now!! I'm sure that the infidelity is muddled up in the middle of the new baby, the health probs, your older son... it just sounds AWFUL.<P>You asked if marriage is worth saving just for the kids. I'm of the mind that yes, it is, if that is truly what you believe. I will say this though... if your H is putting your family in danger (and sleeping with women he doesn't know that could give him diseases is putting you in danger) and WILL NOT STOP, then you have to protect yourselves, which may mean ending the marriage. But nobody here is gonna tell you to just leave without working very hard to repair your marriage. <P>He's remorseful, you've said. How remorseful? Has the affair **totally** stopped? Are you both getting counseling (and your 11 yr. old son too)? Did you and the baby get tested for STD's? Is your H still hanging out online??<P>Lot's of questions. <P>You are in the right place, and I'm sure you'll get tons of wonderful advice...<P>Best wishes as you begin this horrible journey...<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>