Does any have any information about how children, especially teens come to terms with their father's mid-life crisis and all the attendant mess..adolescent behaviour, OW, selfishness, egocentricism etc. How do they do after the Crazy Times sort themselves out one way or another? Does anyone have insight about the difference between teenage girls versus teenage boys living through their father's "new adolescence"?<BR>It is so hard trying to "do the right thing" and them seeing thier father having the time of his life...where are their boundaries now?

my 11 yr old knows all the dirt and 9 mos after it all, she appears to forgive him. she is sure that what he did was dead wrong. when we talk she says that she believes that her daddy is changed and has "come to his senses". my sincere hope is that with this look at the dark side of illicit sex, she will be wiser when the inevitable opportunity presents itself to her. her innocence has been shattered - she knows the truth- "if it feels good do it" is a big fat hairy lie. i only pray that she will recognize it when it comes. i also hope that when it comes time to choose a husband she will be more careful than i was. my actions are very important. when i feel crazy and want to leave i try to remember what my friend said, "the kids need one good parent upholding the true values". good luck.

My 13 year old son is absolutely convinced that he has lost his mind, and keeps hoping that something will "knock some sense into his head". He keeps saying that his "old" father would never act this way. Worst yet, he doesn't want to ever get married for fear that he would do something like this to his wife. It apparently has not occurred to him that his wife could do something like this to him.<P>My 16 and 19 year old daughters think MLC is just an excuse, that you can go through MLC but that doesn't mean you have to cheat - cheating is a result of a major character flaw, that "once a cheater, always a cheater". They don't trust men, and have tried to convince me that fathers are completely superfluous except as sperm donors. Prior to this, they both loved their father very much.

Thanks neen and nellie1<BR>Yes I know that the children need one parent to be the responsible parent....since that is what I have chosen to be always, this is not a problem...and I am now getting past my resentment of being "it" while H is out there playing the field with many women and all sorts of other adolescent behaviour.<BR>nellie1, our children are of a similar age<BR>My 18 year old twin sons know all the details and the whole thing is a mess, but they love their father and see him having fun as an 18 year old and do not see him as competing with them....they will soon enough .<BR>One never wants children as his father has obviously explained how he feels and the responsibility is too much. The other one wanted to be a successful mirror image of who his father was and his dreams are now crushed as he does not know what to do with his life....he is bright enough to do anything he wants to.<P>My 16 year old has seen the stupidity and knows his fathers valies are so morally wrong but still sees him on alternate weekends and spur of the moment dinners.<P>The most messed up is my 13 year old daughter, her fathers princess...she only tries to make her father into something he has never been, involved in his children's lives. She is so busy fantasizing about the wonders of what this man does ( and then is angry when what she expects does not)that she cannot focus in school, 9 months after the details were known. She is still so very angry with OW who we all knew (H secretary-25 year old with a daughter who she lost custody of-who was my daughters best friend) but she is not angry with her father as he had no choice to do what he did in her opinion.<BR>What a mess this developped into...and do people going through midlife crises ever think of the damage they do to thier children?<P>I had to sue H for divorce to get him to take financial responsibility for his children even though I can afford it all on my own, and he is fighting back as he feels that he does not have to other than token amounts.H is a very successful financier. First judgement last week against him. <BR>