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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858 |
After the long drawn discussion regarding going to a bar without your spouse, it got me thinking about the proper role of a confidant, a good friend to the spouse. Obviously, the good friend should be of the same sex, but what topics should be off limits?
Me 38
Divorced 8/09
DS 10,6
DD 4
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,970 |
dkd,
First, cultivate friends of your marriage...so same sex confidantes...and follow the rule that you won't say anything to them (or do) anything you wouldn't be comfortable saying/doing if your spouse were present.
Next, whatever you share with a confidante, be sure you also share with your spouse.
LA
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 858 |
I agree with the first and last points, but I feel like part of the reason to talk to a confidant is to test your emotions on someone impartial, so to speak, before you risk causing a much bigger problem with your spouse.
Yes you should be able to tell your spouse everything, but if he/she has done something to hurt you, but you have a hard time finding fault with, I'd like to have a sounding board before I make a moutain out of a mole. That's not to say that I wouldn't tell my spouse everything, it's just that you don't get do overs with your spouse, while you can practice and get it right with the confidant.
In essense, this place acts very similar to a confidant.
Me 38
Divorced 8/09
DS 10,6
DD 4
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